Box Office Mojo reports Epic Movie has taken first place at the box office. Epic Movie currently holds a 3.2 / 10 rating on IMDB and a mighty 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. Its competition included Smokin’ Aces, Catch and Release and Blood and Chocolate. Epic Movie was brought to you by the people behind such phenomenal movies such as Scary Movie, Scary Movie 2, Scary Movie 3, Scary Movie 4 and, in 2008…wait for it, Scary Movie 5. With rave reviews such as this one from Pajiba which asks you to “…think of the worst movie you’ve ever seen. Now take away any redeeming qualities.”, it’s a wonder why it didn’t take in as much as that obscure Lord of the Rings movie did.

You’re probably asking me why I care. Simple. Being number one means more people chose to view this movie starring Kal Penn over other movies starring Ben Affleck (Smokin’ Aces), Andy Garcia (Smokin’ Aces), Ray Liotta (Smokin’ Aces), Jeremy Piven (Smokin’ Aces!), Ryan Reynolds (Smokin’ Aces!!) and Jennifer Gardner (Catch and Release). Who?! Teenagers? Twenty-somethings with the sense of a lemming and memory of a goldfish? Maybe Kal Penn has an assload of friends. I don’t get it.

Coincidentally, I saw recent statistics that linked this movie to an increase in homicides and suicides. I can’t link it right now because I lost it. Just trust me. It was on a Tripod website and had a flashing gif which screams credible.