There are a lot of things about Eve I don’t know about. For instance, she’s really good friends with Sean Penn as evidenced by the fact that Sean posted her bail when she was busted for DUI. And she used to be a stripper as evidenced by these pictures that recently came out of her… stripping. Although, I’m not sure what they’re doing constitutes stripping. It’s more like they’re groping each other while crumpled dollar bills are being thrown at them. Not much different from what happens at your average country club save for the feathery black thing being shoved into that one girl. Pictures NSFW.

Eve was arrested yesterday for DUI after she crashed her gold Maserati into the center divider on Hollywood Blvd. She was booked on a misdemeanor and bail was set at $300,000. An unlikely friend in Sean Penn heard about the incident and sprung Eve out. A source close to Eve says,

“Sean and Eve have been friends for two years or so. They met out and about. When Sean heard Eve was arrested, he immediately ran down to the police station as a friend to bail her out. Eve totally didn’t expect it. Eve said, ‘What? Why is Sean here?’”

Whenever I end up in jail, I always hope a celebrity comes to bail me out. Someone like Jessica Biel. I think we’re close enough that we should be leaning on each other and helping each other out. Sure, we’ve never spoken, but it’s pretty obvious our relationship transcends frivolous banter. We’re practically connected at the hip. I mean, I watch her undress through her window almost every day.