Fabio traded in his butter for deodorant to become the new Old Spice guy. He’s, how shall I put this, a little different. Whereas Isaiah Mustafa was the consummate gentleman and all around cool dude in his ad spots, Fabio is generally creepy in his. Do we really need to linger on his emotionless stare for that long?

No word on whether or not Fabio will be replacing Isaiah but I hope not. Looking at Fabio is unsettling as looking into the eyes of that living doll Audrina Patridge.

A few more spots under the cut.

Last Friday, George Clooney and girlfriend Sarah Larsen were dining at Madeo in L.A. next to Fabio and his women. One of Fabio’s friends started taking pictures of the group which of course was a clever cover story for taking pictures of Clooney and his girlfriend. When George confronted Fabio, Fabio told him to “Stop being a diva,” hopefully in that trademark accent of his. George Clooney took offense. Page Six writes,

Clooney started arguing back, and he and Fabio then got into a shoving match. “The waiters broke it up before it got out of hand,” a witness told In Touch. Clooney then paid his check and left before finishing his meal. According to another In Touch witness, Ron Marotto, “George looked annoyed when Fabio went to his table. George stood up, dropped the F-bomb and then went to push him . . . George was drinking . . . He wasn’t drunk, but he certainly wasn’t stone sober, either.” Fabio’s manager told the magazine, “George is lucky he didn’t end up in the ER.” Clooney’s rep declined to comment to Page Six.

Have you seen Fabio? He’s a manly man. I heard he can shatter diamonds by just staring at them with his soulless eyes. His chiseled chest protruding from his partially unbuttoned shirt would shield him from the complimentary bread George planned on thumping him with. Or, if it turned out to be like any of those fights I’ve seen on Youtube, they would have ended up rolling on the ground like two lovers in a field of daisies. Either way, I think it would be a good fight. A little gay, but a good fight.