Not only did Lady Gaga walk the Thierry Mugler show at Paris Fashion week in boots that made her look like she had cow legs, but she took the same boots, threw on a see-through tiger print bodysuit and, with champagne in hand, walked to the after show dinner at Maxim’s. Did I mention her outfit was see-through? Judging by your gagging, I must have. You could see her nipples and everything too. Wait, let me get you a bucket to vomit in. I don’t want you messing up this fine shag carpet.

For the love of god, get her away from that baby.

Not even Fashion Week can survive the recession. The economy has gotten so bad that they can’t even coerce A-listers like Renee Zellweger and Jennifer Lopez into the front row anymore and have to settle for D-listers like elite hooker Ashley Dupre, Kim Kardashian and Tori Spelling.

Not only can’t they afford to pay A-lister’s exorbitant appearance fees, but their drinks are now provided by McDonald’s instead of Starbucks and gift bags are filled with K-Y Jelly instead of NARS cosmetics.

“In the past, people were paid thousands and thousands of dollars per show,” one celebrity wrangler said.

But this year’s pretty young things attend for a few thousand bucks’ worth of free clothes, grab gift bags missing high-end goodies and settle for McDonald’s instead of Starbucks or champagne.

Paris Hilton – ubiquitous this week with sister Nicky and Kardashian in tow – used to charge $50,000 to appear at just one show, another veteran celebrity wrangler said.

Now she is showing up at shows this year for free airfare, hotel accommodations and $5,000 in free clothes per designer, sources said.

To be fair, all you have to do is mention “free” and Paris will come running. I once convinced Paris to make an appearance at my birthday party by promising free air and a gift bag of rocks I bought at Michaels. To this day, she still thinks she made off with 20 pounds of rare African gems.