Everybody was stupefied and a lot of head shaking was going on when Rihanna collaborated with Chris Brown on two tracks, one of which was a remix of Birthday Cake. This was followed by rumors that they were and had been hooking up again.

Well, whether or not that happened, consider it over now that Chris Brown’s remix of Kanye West’s Theraflu is out. Chris raps,

Don’t fuck with my old bitches
Like a bad fur
Every industry nigga did had her
Trick or treat like a pumpkin just to smash her
Bitches breaking codes
But I’m the password

These lyrics have led to a 21st century break-up and the ultimate sign that their relationship can’t be saved. The mutual unfollowing of each other on Twitter.

Rihanna tweeted, “Aw, poor dat #neaux1currrrr,” before unfollowing Brown. While Chris, tweeted, “Assumptions! I didn’t say any names so if u took offense to it then its something you feel guilty about,” before unfollowing Rihanna.

Granted, half of those lyrics are indecipherable. I’m pretty sure most rap songs are 50% what rappers want to say and 50% words that sound cool. It’s like the lyrical version of holding a gun sideways.

The Met Gala in New York City was the place to be the other night. Celebrities flock from everywhere to attend the event in their fancy dresses. “Who do I have to blow around here for a Met Gala invite?,” is the line commonly heard in Hollywood in the days leading up to the event. So if you hear about how Kim Kardashian didn’t attend because she had business in LA, don’t believe it.

Sources say the real reason is Vogue’s Anna Wintour, who organizes the event, hates Kim. “Why would she be invited to the event? It is all the biggest stars in the world and Kim doesn’t fit that bill at all.” Even though the Met Gala is $25,000 a ticket but Kim can’t even buy one because Wintour doesn’t want there. Knowing this, don’t expect Kim to ever grace the cover of Vogue as long as Anna Wintour is alive either.

I hear whenever Kim Kardashian is banned from an important celebrity event, an angel gets their wings. Then a thousand cherubs all point and laugh at her from heaven.

I’ll let you figure out what letters those asterisks are covering up. According to sources inside The Voice, Christina Aguilera blew up after finding out what Adam Levine had in store for her for the finale.

“Christina found out that Adam planned to have his finalist, Tony Luca, sing 99 Problems by Jay-Z, in which he’ll sing “I’ve got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one” the source explains. “Adam and Tony wanted to call Christina out as a bitch but make it clear she’s not a problem for Tony. It was completely aimed at her. It was Adam’s idea, but Tony absolutely loved it.” Radar Online

Naturally, Christina flipped out because no one can say anything bad about her ever even though it seems to be true.

“Christina thought it was ridiculous. She was highly offended,” the source explained. “It ended up that NBC told Adam to change ‘bitch’ in the song’s lyrics to ‘chick.’”

Adam argued that changing the lyrics would ruin the song. He “went right up to Christina and said ‘you’re the biggest f***ing c***.” Aguilera, pissed, squealed that Adam should be fired and that “she’s sick of being treated this way.” Then, with her mouth half-open, she pointed to a tray of sandwiches on a table and told her assistant to “bring them to me!”

“Christina is so sick of Adam being looked at as the golden boy of the show. If America knew how disgusting he was, they would be appalled, she always says,” the source admitted.

Adam’s outburst led to a halt in production rehearsals.

“Adam wouldn’t do anything until this gets figured out,” the source revealed. “He was being incredibly immature.”

The whole thing was a “huge fiasco,” the source admitted. “By midday it wasn’t even confirmed that Adam would be going through with the coaches performance. It was that bad.”

To be fair, more than half the people who’ve met Christina say the same thing. That she’s a total bitch. But, hey, at least he wasn’t going to call her a “fat bitch.” That’s something at least.

It’s almost halfway through 2012 so it was pretty odd that we hadn’t heard any “Mel Gibson is antisemitic” news yet. Glad that’s about to change.

Screenwriter Joe Eszterhas (Showgirls, Basic Instinct), who Mel Gibson hired to write the script for Judah Maccabee to prove to everyone he isn’t a raging anti-Semite, had turned in a draft back in February and never heard back from Mel. He got a little, okay, very upset and wrote a nine page letter that he promised to have only sent to Nick Guerra, Mel’s assistant. Somehow the letter found it’s way into the hands of The Wrap. Here’s a quick summary.

On why Mel wanted to do a Maccabee film: I’ve come to the conclusion that you never had, or have, any intention of making a film about the Maccabees. I believe you announced the project with great fanfare — “a Jewish Braveheart” — in an attempt to deflect continuing charges of anti-semitism which have dogged you. I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason you won’t make The Maccabees is the ugliest possible one. You hate Jews.

On Mel’s unfiltered Antisemitism: Let me remind you of some of the things you said which appalled me. You continually called Jews “Hebes” and “oven-dodgers” and “Jewboys.” It seemed that most times when we discussed someone, you asked ‘He’s a Hebe, isn’t he?’ You said most ‘gatekeepers’ of American companies were ‘Hebes’ who ‘controlled their bosses.’

Mel still doesn’t believe the Holocaust happened: You said the Holocaust was “mostly a lot of horseshit.” You said the Torah made reference to the sacrifice of Christian babies and infants. When I told you that you were confusing the Torah with The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, … you insisted “it’s in the Torah — it’s in there!” (It isn’t).

On Mel’s real reason for doing the movie: Perhaps most disturbing, as I wrote out the script, was a comment you made to me in your Malibu house. It came out of the blue, while you were playing on the living room floor with your little girl, Luci. “What I really want to do with this movie,” you said, “is to convert the Jews to Christianity.”

On Mel wanting to stab Oksana while f*cking her up the butt: Shortly after we got there [Gibson's property in Costa Rica, where they were to work on the script], you and my [15-year-old] son Nick and some others went surfing. On the way to the sea, walking along in the sand, you turned to Nick and said, “I want to f*ck her in the ass and stab her to death while I’m doing it.”

On aging:  You hurled your cell phone into a wall and started to scream, “I look so f*cking old! I look horrible! That f*cking whore is destroying me! She’s taking my looks! I hate her! She’s destroying my life!” You jumped up, screaming full-throated: “Look at me!! f*cking look at me! Look how terrible I look! Answer me, God! Why did you turn your back on me?! f*ck you! f*ck you!” You stepped a few feet away and screamed into the sky, “I’m not gonna take it up the ass anymore and say, ‘Thank you, your honor!”

Take this letter with a grain of salt. While everything in here sounds plausible, it could be that Eszterhas was pissed about his script being rejected. Anyway, Mel wrote back.

Joe,

I have your letter. I am not going to respond to it line by line, but I will say that the great majority of the facts as well as the statements and actions attributed to me in your letter are utter fabrications. I would have thought that a man of principle, as you purport to be, would have withdrawn from the project regardless of the money if you truly believed me to be the person you describe in your letter. I guess you only had a problem with me after Warner Brothers rejected your script.

I will acknowledge like most creative people I am passionate and intense. I was very frustrated that when you arrived at my home at the expense of both Warner Brothers and myself you hadn’t written a single word of a script or even an outline after 15 months of research, meetings, discussions and the outpouring of my heartfelt vision for this story. I did react more strongly than I should have. I promptly sent you a written apology, the colorful words of which you apparently now find offensive. Let me now clearly apologize to you and your family in the simplest of terms.

Contrary to your assertion that I was only developing Maccabees to burnish my tarnished reputation, I have been working on this project for over 10 years and it was publicly announced 8 years ago. I absolutely want to make this movie; it’s just that neither Warner Brothers nor I want to make this movie based on your script.

Honestly, Joe, not only was the script delivered later than you promised, both Warner Brothers and I were extraordinarily disappointed with the draft. In 25 years of script development I have never seen a more substandard first draft or a more significant waste of time. The decision not to proceed with you was based on the quality of your script, not on any other factor.

I think that we can agree that this should be our last communication.

Mel

I like the part where he says the majority of that letter isn’t true and admitted to reacting “more strongly than I should have” and said that the colorful words in his apology letter he sent to Joe wasn’t meant to be offensive. Now I want to know what the apology letter said. Was it more of Mel going off on a tangent about ways to f*ck Oksana while killing her and swearing at an imaginary Jew devil out to get him? To be fair, it’s not hard to imagine the script sucked harder than Oksana did when Mel punched her in the diaphragm. May I remind you this is the guy who wrote Showgirls.

So Courtney Love is still crazy then? Courtney went on Twitter the other day to blast Dave Grohl for trying to seduce her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain. It’s important to note Frances is her estranged daughter. Meaning, even she thinks Courtney’s nuts.

“I hear from frannies roommate that @davegrohl hit on frances, and that she was curious,” Love tweeted. “I’m not mad at her, him I am about to shoot, dead.”

In a series of tweets, Love, 47, then went on to rant about Grohl’s supposed obsession with anything relating to her late husband, Kurt Cobain.

“It could be a riumnour the actual sex, and its not beans fault she’s not slutty in any way, at all, HES OBSESSED,” she wrote, looping in Twitter handles @GregSmeltzer and @davegrohl.

Love also threatened Grohl repeatedly in her tweets, and credited a driver with information that the Foo Fighter frontman had “his hands all over” 19-year-old Frances at one point.

“He had that romney rape thing about him,” she wrote, calling Grohl a “gross old man makcing on Kurt Cobain’s only child.” NYDN

If you’ve been wondering if Courtney Love does anything other than pop pills all day and rant incoherently on whatever social network hasn’t banned her yet, the answer is no.

In a new interview with Rolling Stone, Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence talked about a squirrel skinning scene in Winter’s Bone saying, “I should say it wasn’t real, for PETA. But screw PETA.” That’s the spirit. They claimed the squirrel was already roadkill before they skinned it.

Of course, PETA has a Google alert set for their organization so it didn’t take them long to act all pious.

“She’s young and the plight of animals somehow hasn’t yet touched her heart. As (American author/poet) Henry David Thoreau said, ‘The squirrel you kill in jest, dies in earnest.’

“The squirrel was ‘screwed,’ not PETA… We hope Jennifer will learn from other young celebrities like Justin Bieber, Lea Michele and Kellan Lutz, who are using their influence to help, rather than hurt, animals.”

Really, PETA? It was a squirrel that was already dead. Not like it was killed just for that scene. At this point, it feels like PETA is just trolling celebrities.

A few days ago Dan Harmon played to a small audience in the back of a comic book store a voicemail of Chevy Chase going off on him. He’s since gone on Tumblr and apologized for the whole thing calling himself a selfish baby and rude asshole.

It was in that venue, months ago, that I made the horrible, childish, self-obsessed, unaware, naive and unprofessional decision to play someone’s voicemail to me. He didn’t intend for 150 people to listen and giggle at it, and I didn’t intend for millions of people to read angry reports about it. I was doing what I always do, and always get in trouble for doing, and always pay a steep price for doing. I was thinking about myself and I was thinking about making people laugh. I was airing my dirty laundry for a chuckle. I ask people at those shows repeatedly to please think twice about youtubing clips of it because it doesn’t play well outside the back of a comic book store. I always accept the risk that a well-intending fan will upload clips and something scandalous will break wide, but the giant mistake I made was involving someone else in that game of russian roulette, someone that didn’t have an opportunity to say “yeah, hilarious, let’s do this.” That was a dumb, unclassy, inconsiderate move on my part. I’m very sorry it’s reflecting poorly on the show.

Whoa, whoa, calm down Dan Harmon and Chevy Chase. Community is probably getting picked up for another season. You don’t need to generate any more buzz for the show.

If that long hiatus couldn’t kill Community, then rumors of Chevy Chase being written out next season, while it won’t help, probably won’t affect the series much. Since its return, the show has been NBC’s highest rated comedy behind The Office.

Back to the Chevy Chase/Dan Harmon feud though. It all started when Chase walked off the set on the last day of shooting last month without filming one of his scenes which closes out the season finale. At the wrap party, Harmon gave a speech in front of Chase, his wife and his daughter saying “f*ck you” and then urging the cast and crew to join in to chant “f*ck you” to Chase. Chevy then left a voicemail for Harmon in which he explains that he stormed off the set because he didn’t get the script beforehand and then called the series executive producer an alcoholic cock sucker. Listen to that here.

Dan Harmon seems like kind of a dick trying to get everyone to say “f*ck you” to Chevy in front of his wife and kids. That’s like if your mom went up to you while you were with your friends and started yelling at you to stop jacking off into socks.

Clay Aiken hasn’t been relevant since American Idol. The only time he’s been in the news is when people ask why he looks so androgynous or when he’s on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen telling people Rihanna would never make it past the first round of auditions on American Idol.

When asked which pop singer today wouldn’t make it past the first round of auditions on “American Idol,” Aiken was taken aback … because, according to him, it’s too hard to pick just one!

“There’s too many, I’ve stopped listening to them because they can’t sing” he said, before ultimately deciding on Rihanna … because she has “some pitch problems.” Too Fab

Oh, snap. It’s on. Well, it would be if Rihanna had any idea who Clay Aiken is. If you asked Rihanna about this, she’d just be like:

Actually, that should read: “Piers Morgan is feuding with Madonna” because the feud is pretty one-sided considering Madonna has no idea who Piers Morgan is.

On Tuesday night, after Madonna joined Twitter, Piers tweeted, “Welcome to Twitter. You’re still banned from my show. Love Piers X.” Madonna’s manager, Guy Oseary, tweeted back, “Really?,” and attached a letter from Piers’ producer from his UK chat show inviting Madonna to be on it. Ruh roh. Looks like his publicity stunt backfired on him. Quick, Plan B!

Piers then tweeted, “Madonna has only been banned from my CNN show, not my UK show, which sent that invite. But I’m now banning her from that too.” My eyes are rolling so hard right now that I can see my brain. Oh, so that’s what my frontal lobe looks like.

Sources tell TMZ that Madonna has no idea why Piers is mad at her adding, “She doesn’t even know who he is.” The only hint given was back in January 2011 when Piers said he banned Madonna from his show because she’s been “an irritant in my life for 20 years.”

Holy crap, that’s a long time to hold a grudge. What did Madonna do to that guy? Bang his boyfriend or something?

Madonna has responded to Deadmau5′s rant that she perpetuated the stereotype of EDM events and drugs during her surprise appearance at Miami’s Ultra Music Festival.

She tweeted a photo of her wearing a Mini Mouse hat with a speech bubble that read, “From one mouse to another. I don’t support drug use and I never have. I was referring to the song called ‘Have You Seen Molly‘ written by my friend Cedric Gervais who I almost worked with on my album.”

Clearly Madonna was only referencing the song. It’s not her fault that the song is about ecstasy. And that MDNA shirt she was wearing that conspicuously looked like a play on MDMA? That was just a coincidence. They couldn’t fit “Madonna” on the shirt so when they shortened it, it just so happened to become “MDNA.” Just a series of unrelated events that culminated into a perfect storm at the Ultra Drug Festival. I mean, Ultra Music Festival.

h/t TDW

Madonna made a surprise appearance at Miami’s Ultra Music Festival over the weekend and excessively pandered to the crowd by wearing a shirt that read MDNA and asking if they’d seen Molly (slang for MDMA aka ecstasy). People ate it up and Madonna’s script writers were given a bonus that day.

One person who took exception though was Deadmau5 who vented on Twitter and Facebook criticizing Madonna for referencing ecstasy which has become synonymous with Ultra Music Festival, EDC and the genre in general.

very classy there madonna. “HUR DUR HAS ANYONE SEEN MOLLY???” such a great message for the young music lovers at ultra. quite the f’n philanthropist. but hey, at least yer HIP AND TRENDY! fucking cant smack my head hard enough right now. Deadmau5 Facebook

As much as Madonna is an annoying bitch, what else was she supposed to say? Electronic music festivals and ecstasy go hand in hand. Nothing is going to change that. Mostly because all the day-glo raver kids would feel like retards if they looked in the mirror sober.

Sure, Jon Hamm name checked Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton when he talked about people being rewarded significantly for being a f*cking idiot (to which Kim whined about on Twitter) but it’s nothing personal. Much like when I use your name when describing the term “douchebag” to my friend. I was just, like, using you as an example. Nothing personal. No need to get your panties in a bunch. Jon told E! News,

“It’s surprising to me that it has become remotely a story,” he told E! News. “I don’t know Ms. Kardashian, I know her public persona.

“What I said was meant to be more on pervasiveness of something in our culture, not personal, but she took offense to it and that is her right.”

Not exactly an apology if that was what Kim Kardashian was expecting. It was basically Jon saying, “Hey, whatever. It’s her life,” and then rolling his eyes.