You dream this day would one day come but when it finally does, you’re still unprepared for how beautiful it actually is. Here’s pornstar/deep throat master Jenna Haze and actress Taylor Momsen together for the very first time on the set of a FHM shoot. What is this watery substance escaping from my eye?

Kim Kardashian is in the March 2011 edition of FHM UK in a bikini. Thankfully we won’t have to hear her whine about this one because there’s no nipple. I swear, you take a couple nude pictures of a girl and pass it around the internet and you never hear the end of it.

See more of Kim here at FHM.

Jessica Alba is in the September 2010 edition of FHM magazine. It’s a recycled photo shoot but still hot. Alba looks the same now as she did then. It’s like she doesn’t age. Wait… Is she a witch? Ahhhh! Witch! Burn her!

More Jessica here.

As long as we’re stuck with Audrina Patridge and the rest of The Hills gang we might as well make the best of it. Which is what FHM UK said to themselves when they gave Audrina two options: Become irrelevant or put her ass in a bikini and let them take pictures. The option Audrina went with may surprise you!

More Audrina Patridge at FHM.

Celebrities on Twitter are turning into a bunch of talking heads being paid to advertise for whoever pays them enough. Though Kim Kardashian denies it, reports estimate Kim and other celebs earn up to $10,000 for each tweet. You’ll probably find out for sure in coming months due to new regulations that require people to say whether they’re being given cash incentives to do a blog post or social media post.

With all this behind the scenes trickery, one starts to lose faith in social media. Which is why it’s nice to see other celebs embrace the true meaning of sites like Twitter. Like Amanda Bynes did the other day. Amanda tweeted a couple photos from her Maxim shoot where she’s splayed out on a bed in her bra and panties. Looks like other celebrities can learn a lot from Amanda.

The latest issue of FHM South Africa features Kim Kardashian in a bikini and airbrushed hips. If you like this sort of stuff, feel free to enjoy. But be sure that when you pick this up at your local newsstand you don’t confuse this with FHM North Africa where the cover is of a tribe of angry natives throwing rocks at a model who they have nicknamed The White Devil.

Diora Baird has a nice body and big tits (not just big, mind you, humongous) so it makes sense that people from FHM would want to photograph her for their latest issue. They hid behind the fact that this is relevant because she’s in the new Star Trek movie which by early reports sounds amazing. Although, there was some rumor that she was removed in the final cut, but whatever. I doubt that’s true. That’s like taking the smile off the Mona Lisa or making a statue of Zeus only 2 inches tall.

More of Diora at FHM.

Photos courtesy FHM, more here.

I momentarily confused Abigail Clancy, 22, with Abigail Breslin, 12, so you can see how I was a little shocked to find out she was in the December issue of FHM (known to be a non-digital spank bank). Turns out my apprehensiveness in opening up the pictures was rewarded with a totally unexpected boner. Hurrah!