Here’s everyone else at the 69th Annual Golden Globes from the despised Madonna to Kate Beckinsale and George Clooney and even Ben Kingsley’s hot piece, his fourth wife, who mounted him and who he made out with all night with.

Because celebrities work so hard reading words off pieces of paper, they need a vacation every month or so just to unwind. Eye strain is no joke! Hence, George Clooney and Stacy Keibler are in Cabo San Lucas, for the third time in the span of two months, riding around in golf carts and telling some poor Mexican to fetch them Perrier and a vodka tonic, post haste.

This according to the kid that plays George Clooney’s on-screen daughter in The Descendants, Amara Miller. Miller tells Us that George “wouldn’t be good as a father. He wouldn’t be the best as a father.” You can take Amara’s word for it. She’s 10 or something. She should know. Man. What. A. B*tch.

Why not? “George likes being an adult,” she explained. “George has fun being an adult, and I don’t think he would like having kids. I know that he’s not planning on having kids anytime soon.”

But Miller did say Clooney was “really amazing… so fun and [always] playing and fooling around and joking.”

“He was just a really phenomenal person to work with,” she said. “[But] we don’t really keep in touch anymore. He’s George Clooney… No one really keeps in touch with him anymore!” Us Weekly

Uh, hey, kid, you’re, like, 10-years-old. What did you expect? It would be weird if George did keep in touch with you. What would you two possibly talk about anyway? How hot Stacy Kiebler’s ass looks in a certain dress? The circles in a Venn Diagram of both your interests would be so far apart that it’d look like Tara Reid’s wonky boobs. The only reason George would ever keep in touch is if his name was Jerry Sandusky and you were a little boy running around naked in the shower.

Stacy Keibler no longer has to follow ten steps behind George Clooney’s fart or leave out the back of a restaurant while Clooney exits out the front. She’s graduated and can now be right by Clooney’s side.

Here they are at yet another Descendents premiere. This time in LA. And this time George even showed some PDA by kissing her hand. This relationship seems to be on an accelerated pace. Possibly because Stacy can kick George’s ass.

“She’s very tall,” Clooney noted to E! News’ Giuliana Rancic at last night’s red carpet premiere of The Descendants. “And she can take me two out of three falls. That’s important, too.”

As Giuliana then said to him: What?

Well, a fall refers to the end of a wrestling match, so apparently Clooney was referring to his lady’s athletic prowess, which she acquired as a brutal(ly good-looking) member of the WCW and WWE circuit.

“She can kick my ass,” Clooney explained simply—and out of Keibler’s ear-shot. Oh, and he admitted that she’s really nice, too. E! News

I doubt George even minds that he gets his ass kicked by a girl. I bet when Stacy pins George down, sits on his face and yells, “How do you like this? Huh? Huh?!,” George just lies there with an erection. Who wouldn’t? Just look at her. She’s basically 2/3 legs.

George Clooney took his new piece Stacy Keibler to another Descendants premiere. This time in the UK and this time with a bit more cleavage.

Would it hurt Clooney to smile more though? He sort of does it here but it feels more like constipation than anything else.

Since the first time was a success and not an embarrassment, George Clooney and Stacy Keibler showed up together for the second time at the Paris premiere of The Descendants. This time not without minor technical difficulties.

At one point in the night, Stacy’s dress started slipping off one side revealing her boob tape. But she managed to readjust herself and put everything back in place.

May I just say, the inventor of double sided sticky tape can go to hell.

George Clooney and Stacy Keibler have been quietly dating for a few months but neither of them have really talked about their relationship publicly. They’re barely photographed together. That is until last night at the New York Film Festival Premiere of “The Descendants” where they walked the red carpet together.

Looks like George Clooney let Stacy be near him in public now without having to trail a few steps behind. What a nice boyfriend.

Insiders say George Clooney recently flew to his Lake Como villa to spend time with former WWE diva and Dancing With the Stars contestant Stacy Keibler. Stacy even tweeted, “I’m in heaven.” Insiders say they’ve been friends for a while but the relationship isn’t serious.

Though they seem to be an unlikely pair, George and Stacy have been acquaintances for some time and were set up by a mutual friend, the insider reveals. “They have a lot of friends in common and run in the same circles,” another pal tells the magazine, on newsstands now.

But Stacy — who split with her longtime boyfriend, 7th Heaven star Geoff Stults, a year ago — isn’t looking for a commitment, which suits George just fine. “He’s enjoying spending time with Stacy, but he just got out of a two-year relationship,” says the insider. “George isn’t ready for anything serious. This fling is purely for fun.”

Stacy Keibler is much hotter than any other of George Clooney’s past temp girlfriends. Half her body is just legs. That doesn’t mean this will last though. His girlfriends have a shelf-life of one to two years. That’s about the time they start asking Clooney to put a ring on it. That’s also about the time they come back to the villa to find the locks changed and their suitcases already packed and a knife on the ground to commit seppuku with. You know, just in case the message wasn’t clear enough.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out George Clooney isn’t the marrying type so it’s no surprise to find out the reason for Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis’ breakup was over the topic of marriage.

Just hours before the tempestuous bust up last week the couple had enjoyed a romantic dinner at their favourite hillside restaurant where onlookers said they resembled ‘cooing lovebirds.’
But the atmosphere became very different when they returned to Clooney’s villa where he was enjoying a few days off from shooting his latest movie in London.
Sources said the Ocean’s Star flipped after being being ‘pressed’ about marriage by Canalis – who two weeks ago had given a gushing interview about how she was ‘living a fairytale’ and hoped to wed the actor. [Daily Mail]

Later in the article, it said Clooney and Canalis got into a big fight over George not going to Mexico or Cannes with her which caused her to storm out of her villa and go to Milan to visit her friends. Well, if she’s going to act like that, why would George want to marry her anyway? There are a bunch of cocktail waitresses waiting to be his girlfriend. Don’t think you’re the only one, little missy.

In early June, Elisabetta Canalis told Italian magazine Chi that she’s happy at the moment but vows one day to be married.

“I am a firm believer in marriage, in the future I will be married, but for the time being I am happy as I am,” she says. “I don’t need anything to confirm how happy I am.” [Us]

Luckily she didn’t mention to who because after two years of dating, George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis have broken up.

“We are not together anymore,” the couple says in a joint statement. “It’s very difficult and very personal and we hope everyone can respect our privacy.”

Clooney probably heard about the marriage thing and thought to himself, “How cute, she thinks she can get me to marry her,” and then dropped the hammer. The only person who tells George Clooney what to do is George Clooney. And his mother. And possibly his agent. And his director. But that’s it!

George Clooney tells Newsweek that he could never run for office because “I f–ked too many chicks and did too many drugs, and that’s the truth.” Hey, man. No one likes a bragger.

Clooney, who is called the “21st-Century Statesman” in the article, joked that if someone like him wanted to go into politics, they would have admitted to the skeletons in their closet much sooner in life.

“[They] would start from the beginning by saying, ‘I did it all. I drank the bong water. Now let’s talk about issues.’ That’s gonna be my campaign slogan: ‘I drank the bong water,’ ” he said.

Well, uh, I… I’ve banged a lot of chicks too. By banged Clooney means “googled for porn” and by chicks he means “then cried into a pillow” right? Because, if so, then yea. I’ve done a lot of that. High five!

For the second time, George Clooney caught Malaria and beat it proving once and for all he is immortal. That or he has access to really great drugs. Clooney contracted the disease on a trip to Sudan during the first week in January where he was working with the UN on trying to prevent new fighting from breaking out in the country.

“This illustrates how with proper medication, the most lethal condition in Africa can be reduced to a bad ten days instead of a death,” Clooney said.

That’s why I never leave my house. Too dangerous. Also because I don’t have any friends. But more so the dangerous part.

There is very little chance of this happening and this rumor seems like it only started because some guy wants to promote his book, but the Telegraph reports production is due to start soon on the film adaptation of The Life and Opinions of Maf the Dog written by Andrew O’Hagan.

The story tells of the last two years of Marilyn Monroe as seen through the eyes of Maf, a Maltese terrier gifted to her by Sinatra in 1960. George Clooney is said to be attached to play Sinatra and Hagan seems to believe Angelina Jolie will play Marilyn. Cue slow eye roll.

Speculation over the project has been growing over the last few months. Scarlett Johansson had been linked to the Monroe role, and Mr O’Hagen had previously suggested that Mad Men actress Christina Hendricks could also play the lead role.

According to the book’s description, Maf – short for Mafia – met several famous faces from the era, including President John F. Kennedy. The dog also accompanied Monroe to acting classes, restaurants, department stores and to Mexico for her divorce from playwright Arthur Miller.

“Marilyn was a strange and unhappy creature, but at the same time she had more natural comedy to her than anybody I would ever know,” observes Maf, who was 3 when Monroe died in 1962 at age 36.

They should make this a CGI film like Garfield. Don’t forget the 3D either. What better way to tell a ridiculous story of Marilyn Monroe than with ridiculous current technology?! Is what I would say if I was a studio exec.

Here’s Angelina being glittery at the UK premiere of Salt.