The Blemish » gerard pique Better than a slap to the face Mon, 22 Dec 2014 10:44:58 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Shakira Enjoys Being Owned By Her Boyfriend Tue, 11 Mar 2014 19:29:04 +0000 Shakira told Billboard that she can no longer do videos with men because her boyfriend, Gerard Pique, won’t allow it. She even had to ask Pique permission to shoot “Forget You” with Rihanna. She enjoys this and thinks it’s charming.

“He’s very territorial, and since he no longer lets me do videos with men, well, I have to do them with women,” she says with a laugh. “It’s more than implied in our relationship that I can’t do videos like I used to. It’s out of the question – which I like, by the way. I like that he protects his turf and he values me, in a way that the only person that he would ever let graze my thigh would be Rihanna.”

If protecting your girlfriend from men like a hungry lion protects its meat from other predators isn’t romantic, then I don’t know what is. Like I always tell my girlfriends. You’re chained to the basement because I love you and I don’t want to lose you. Not to another man, the state police or the FBI.

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Shakira Definitely Pregnant Thu, 17 Jan 2013 10:04:12 +0000 Shakira posted a picture of her pregnant belly on Twitter saying she and Gerard Pique would like to share the imminent birth of their first child with us. Um, I have a couple questions. I sort of get why she’s in a bikini top but why is his shirt off? Is it for symmetry or did he just wander here from a Calvin Klein commercial? To be honest, it’s kind of weird. But not as weird as Shakira’s swollen belly. God, pregnant women are so creepy.

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Shakira Did Not Give Birth Fri, 28 Dec 2012 19:15:31 +0000 You can stop running around flailing your hands over your head with excitement. Shakira did not give birth to a baby boy. But what about her boyfriend, FC Barcelona star Gerard Piqué’s, tweet which read in Spanish, “Our son has been born! We’re very happy! Thank you all for your messages!”

It was a joke as part of Dia de Los Santos Inocentes in Spain, a long winded way of saying, “December Fools’! Haha, you suck!” December 28 in Latin America is similar to April 1 in America. Which is confusing. They should just  make April 1 the de facto standard because U-S-A! U-S-A!

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Shakira Sex Tape Being Shopped Around Thu, 06 Sep 2012 17:26:28 +0000 Though reps for Shakira deny it, Spanish and Latin America have been reporting that a sex tape starring Shakira and Barcelona star defender Gerard Pique is being shopped around. Spanish mag Intervieu claims a Barcelona talent agent was offered the tape which was allegedly filmed by a former employee of Shakira who’s now using it to blackmail her. This rumor comes amidst new reports that her ex and former manager is suing her for $250 million.

“The video lasts about 15 minutes….it’s filmed with a cell phone, which I guess, belonged to Shakira’s employee who was at the helm of the boat that night. The images are not steady and it’s out of focus.”

Shakira is 5’2” and Gerard Pique is 6’4”. There’s a good chance the tape is out of focus because Gerard was spinning her like a top.

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