Geri Halliwell, Ginger Spice, was in St. Jean Cap Ferrat, France over the weekend on a yacht with her husband and daughter and when she went to change out of her bikini, she misjudged the size of her breasts and her nipple slipped out. So, yes, this isn’t so much a bikini malfunction as it is a handbra malfunction but a nipple by any other name, yadda, yadda, yadda.

NSFW nipple photo here.

This is fascinating. Geri Halliwell hasn’t done anything significant in years yet she still has the time and money to vacation in the South of France with her boyfriend Henry Beckwith. Not only that but her body still looks amazing. Especially when she rubs her hands all over her breasts. This doesn’t add up. That’s why I propose we burn her at the stake. Because she might be a witch.

Geri Halliwell aka Ginger Spice hung out with her boyfriend at Nikki Beach over the holiday. It was a wonderful vacation full of fine wine, sunsets, romance and me staring at her tits.

[Bauer]

It’s funny how the Spice Girls were a one hit wonder more than 10 years ago and yet every once in a while we’re still getting updates about them. Victoria Beckham more so than most but Ginger Spice isn’t doing too bad.

Here she is at the exclusive Club 55 beach with her boyfriend Henry Beckwith and, what the fuck, is that an old man’s penis? And… and what is this? Aww, gross. I was about to make a sexist remark about Geri Haliwell’s big tits but now I have to go throw up.

When they said Club 55 was exclusive, I didn’t think they meant you could exclusively see old man balls.

Girl power could be back. According to Geri Halliwell, a.k.a Ginger Spice, talks are underway to bring the Spice Girls back for a third time.

The singer, who famously quit the girl band in May 1998, says she and the other members – Victoria Beckham, Mel B, Emma Bunton and Mel C – are considering getting back for a third time.

She told ITV’s This Morning: ‘We are gathering information about a possibility, but when you are evolving a plan, you don’t want to share it with the world.’

This is good news for anyone worried that there was a gap in the “loudmouthed moms trying too hard to be sexy while wearing age-inappropriate clothing and dancing awkwardly” market since your grandmother got drunk and rowdy at that reunion. Or that Madonna’s most recent tour wrapped up.

Holy crap. I had no idea women this old could have a six pack. It’s like for the past decade, Geri Halliwell has been on a steady diet of horse steroids and whey protein. Like the GNC store was basically her Whole Foods Market.

Remember Geri Halliwell. She was a former Girl of Spice. I believe it was a group famous for a song asking if certain men wanted to be their lover and instructing them on how they would accomplish this. They were also given aliases befitting their personality which they eventually adopted. They had Scary Spice, Sporty Spice, Posh Spice, Baby Spice and, the least creative one, Ginger Spice, aka Geri.

Anyway, here she is hanging out on a yacht in foreign waters as anyone who’s remotely famous tends to do. In this case, she’s in Monaco taking a break from lounging on that other yacht she was on. Sometimes celebrities just have to get away.

Here’s Geri Haliwell on vacation with her boyfriend in Italy. Her stomach freaks me out. I don’t know why. It’s like a mole is coming out of her bellybutton. Don’t ask me why she’s checking out her vagina either. It’s probably a girl thing. Sort of like how they use the restroom in the middle of a date and never come back. “Girl problems,” I always tell myself.

Former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell showed up at the Children’s Baftas wearing a sheer dress that highlighted her bare ass. What’s that you say? Grown women shouldn’t dress like this at a children’s awards show? Ha! Geri laughs at your archaic notions of appropriateness.