Olivia Wilde is in the June issue of Glamour magazine. Posing in a bikini, she talks about what it’s like to be single for the first time in many years. Reports said she was looking to “sow her wild oats.” Olivia says she’s just looking for a little Olivia time.

“I’m opening up my heart to the idea of dating. It’s funny—my friends would always come to me for romantic advice, [but] I know nothing, and things have changed since I was dating in high school! I’m really trying hard to spend this time working on myself,” the beauty said.

And much like me, Olivia isn’t going to apologize for being smart and beautiful, advice her mother gave her long ago. “She’s gorgeous and she taught me that a real feminist doesn’t apologize for her beauty. You can be a sexy, beautiful woman and be the smartest person in the room.”

While she isn’t yet back on the market, she still enjoys making out with costars in movies. “I’ve been lucky to have chemistry with my costars, and I really enjoy pretend kissing. If you’re pretending to love each other, you’ve got to find something to fall in love with.”

Olivia Wilde and I should get together. We’re a lot alike. I too like to pretend kiss as well as engage in pretend foreplay and then have pretend sex followed by a round of pretend apologizing.

Lohan shot a Madonna-themed photo shoot which she assumed would be on the front of Glamour much like her naked Marilyn Monroe-themed shoot was the cover of NY Mag. Now she’s pissed at Katie Holmes because Glamour chose her to be the cover girl instead.

The photos of Lindsay are actually part of a spread that pays homage to American icons which other celebrities also posed for.

“Her Marilyn Monroe shoot for New York Magazine seemed to make her relevant when she did it, she thought the same would happen this time. Only she wasn’t on the cover, Katie was, and she’s mad at her now.”

Another insider says that the cover was never part of the plan. “If that was Lindsay’s impression, it was a mistake. She was always going to be inside the magazine.”

Lindsay better step up her game. As far as horny teenagers are concerned, this is very underwhelming. The only time she’s relevant these days is when she’s naked and she’s already done that. What Lindsay needs now is an even more shocking shoot. Maybe one of her spread eagle stuffing doves in her vagina. I don’t know. I’m just throwing ideas out here. What do I look like? Some fancy photographer?