Pitbull is in the April edition of GQ (full profile there) where he shows off his pubey chest hair and talks about selling out. He doesn’t call it selling out though.

Bull (may I call you Bull?) Bull says, “People say I switched? Maybe I outgrew you. I look at it as an evolution, and setting the path. I’m showing you where to go.” A perfectly reasonable rationalization for selling out. It’s not me, it’s you. I’m fine, you’re the one with the problem.

He adds that he’s 10 percent talent, 90 percent image. “Look, Pitbull is a product. Don’t get it f*cked up—I’m a businessman. This industry is 90 percent business, 10 percent talent. It’s the people who think they’re talented, that their sh*t don’t stink, who get left behind.” And Pitbull sure as hell isn’t going to get left behind. Nuh uh. Not again.

Bull also lays out his past, present and future. “Two thousand nine was freedom, 2010 was invasion, 2011 was takeover, 2012 is grow wealth.”

Does this guy just come up with this stuff off the top of his head or does he sit down at his desk every night jotting these bits of genius down? It’s like he’s not even sure where he’s going with this. “2013 is going to be, uh, be more… bigger. Quit asking me these tough questions, man!”

Katharine McPhee is in the March issue of GQ which comes out later this month. She’s promoting her new series Smash, another show about people randomly breaking into song, which isn’t the biggest man aphrodisiac (manphrodisiac?) so GQ asked her to come up with three things that would persuade men to watch it.

Reason #1: Your lady does it for you. Now do it for her. “Listen,” McPhee says, “I go see all the guy movies, so now I know I love them. But you have to be open to it. I would say to the girlfriends out there: Just nail him down, make him watch an episode with you.”

Reason #2: It’s not like they’re singing constantly. “I can understand why guys wouldn’t be into Glee. You know, that’s a pretty heavy musical show. That show does, like, six songs in an episode. We’ll do, at most, three.”

Reason #3: “Okay, how about this: What if I tell your readers that in episode five I take off all my clothes?” Sold! But hold on—would it be true? “I mean…no.” McPhee laughs mischievously. “But can’t we just say that?”

If those were McPhee’s most convincing arguments, then that’s just sad. Here are three counterpoints.

Counter #1: Guy movies are inherently better than chick flicks. For example, watching Brad Pitt punching dudes in Fight Club is universally loved whereas watching a Katherine Heigl romcom where she squeals at a man only appeals to women with an interest in cats and crocheting.

Counter #2: Whittling it down to three songs per episode is too much. If the show exceeds the singing quotient of 0, then it’s not happening.

Counter #3: No one likes a tease.

Michelle Williams graces the cover of the most recent GQ. She plays Marilyn Monroe in some movie. I think. I don’t know.

Michelle Williams on her education, and how she ended up being home-schooled (a better fit with her acting work):
Her last formal school was Santa Fe Christian in San Diego; later its principal would denounce Williams after she appeared in Brokeback Mountain. (“Michelle doesn’t represent the values of this institution,” he said. “She made the kinds of choices of which we wouldn’t approve.”) “It didn’t really bother me,” she says, when I allude to this.
No twinge, I ask, when you suddenly found out that you’d been living a sinful, artistic career?
“It wasn’t any surprise to me,” she says. “I knew. I remember my mother saying to me at one point, ‘Just don’t make anything your grandmother couldn’t see.’ And at that point I knew I was living a sinful artistic career, because I had done, and I knew I would do.”

…on how the role that first made her famous—the Dawson’s Creek bad girl Jen—still somewhat played into regular sexy-girl stereotypes, only made her swerve in the opposite direction with all the more resolve.
“I wouldn’t say that that would be one of my first qualities as a human being—being sexy,” Williams reasons. “And I think because my character on Dawson’s Creek was sexy…sexualized…sexual…I saw all the negative attention and connotations that can come along with that. And that those things can keep people from seeing you clearly.”

…on why she thinks her and Heath Ledger were drawn to each other:
“There’s an answer that I know,” she says, “but I don’t want to say.” She talks around this not-saying for a while, then says, “Our initial meeting, the circumstances of how we first met, were cosmic or something.” They were together through the shoot, and soon she was pregnant. “Yeah, a lot of things happened at once,” she says. “It’s a bit like: We had a lot of things to do, because we didn’t have a lot of time, or something.”

Writer Chris Heath asks if she thought there was a part of her that imagined she and Ledger would have somehow ended up together:
“That would make me way too sad to answer,” she says quickly, and I hurriedly begin another question, about something completely di­fferent, hoping that if I say it fast enough these new words will chase the old words away from where they are hanging in the air between us, and maybe she will let me pretend that it was something I never said.
“No, no,” she says, and I can see the tears forming, and I think she means that she doesn’t want to answer any more questions about anything. I mutter some kind of apology under my breath.
But, even now, I’m wrong about everything. Mostly she is just trying to stop my new question. She has something to tell me.
“No,” she says. “I said it would make me too sad to answer but it’s also…”—and she nods even as her voice breaks once more with tears—“…one of my favorite things to imagine.” And through the tears, a beaming, almost beatific smile stretches room-wide across her face. “It’s actually one of my favorite places to visit.” GQ

How many more years people are going to keep asking her about her dead husband who probably banged Lindsay Lohan at one point after their split. No wonder she has to go to her happy place whenever they bring it up.

Michael Fassbender says that his new found fame gives him a “buffet of choice” and this leads to him banging a lot of chicks. Must be nice.

“Sleeping around? I don’t think it’s a cliché. You’re travelling around a lot and perhaps lonely and you want some kind of connection again. You’re in a position where people treat you differently,” he told the February issue of GQ magazine. “Maybe a lot of people are in denial and think that it’s down to their looks and their charm that a lot of women proposition them, but the fact of that matter is they are living with what appears to be an attractive lifestyle. Your opportunities are multiplied again, so there’s more of a buffet of choice.”

“I think you just have to keep an eye on things. I’m not immune to anything, but I’m aware of my weaknesses and the beast within,” he explained. “Like anything, if you feed it enough times, it starts to take control. That thing of being seduced, and you’ve just got to be careful. But that’s no guarantee that I’m not going to go crazy and destroy the sweetshop.” Film-News

After explaining how he has sex with multiple women who try to seduce him daily based on only his celebrity status and implying how awesome being famous is, he turned to the GQ interviewer and asked, “U jelly?”

Paula Patton, who’s married to Robin Thicke, son of Alan Thicke (poor thing), is the new girl in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and she tells GQ all about her time on set.

“I was doing physical stunts,” says Patton excitedly, “feet in the mud, fingernails full of dirt, shooting and fighting for my life.” So she ended up getting dirty while filming this movie. I’m in awe. That must have been rough. It must have been even rougher at the end the day to return to a $100,000 trailer where midgets waited to massage her feet.

Anyway, I’ll overlook that “I’m pretty badass now” quote because she’s pretty. Here she is posing for GQ.

I’m not sure naming a girl “Bro of the Year” is a compliment but that’s what GQ named Kristin Wiig in their Annual Men of the Year Issue. They might as well call her “that chick who can drink me under the table but I won’t marry.” Anyway, they had Jon Hamm, her co-star in Bridesmaids, praise her.

“It was inspiring to watch Kristen quarterback the team, be the cheerleader and decisionmaker, and then get in front of the camera and be hilarious…For a lot of comics, there’s a persona they’re not comfortable revealing unless they’re performing. Kristen is incredibly shy; she has her hoodie pulled up and her sleeves pulled over her hands. But this is a woman who wore coconuts on her tits on SNL; she can go to the craziest, most grotesque places on the planet in character.” GQ

That would make for a great list of qualities on her resume. “Funny, hard working, does not micromanage, will wear coconuts on tits.”

Kat Dennings stars in the CBS comedy 2 Broke Girls where she plays 1 broke girl, a waitress with “anime sextoon proportions.” Hey, why am I not watching this? Kat also did an interview with GQ where she was adamant that we all call her a weirdo. Fine by me.

Kat Dennings is hammering home that she’s a weirdo the way other actresses cake on their down-to-earthness and frequently indulged desire for In-N-Out burgers. “I don’t think I’m a weirdo in a bad way, there’s just a lot going on in my head,” she says. To be fair, she’s fielding a question as to why she’s called herself “weird” in just about every medium available—there was her recent tweet (“People are weird. Boys are weird. Men are weird. Love is weird. You are weird. I am weird. Life is weird. Weird is weird. Look, a MINOTAUR!”), multiple posts on her blog proclaiming her oddball status (“As you are undoubtedly aware from reading this endless omnibus of redonkulousness, I am kind of a weirdo”) and then, just minutes into in our phone conversation, she labels herself “a weird one” yet again. GQ

We get it, you are a unique flower. Just don’t call her quirky. She hates that. “I hate that damn word!” Quirky is what a guy would call a girl he doesn’t understand.”

Uh oh, Zooey Deschanel may take issue with that. She made her career on “quirky.” That is to say, my manufactured celebrity feud begins now. Fight fight fight! Take off your tops! *Throws dollar bills at Kat and Zooey* *Runs over to pick them back up*

Previously: Kat Dennings gets nekkid.

Kristen Stewart ditches her Joe Dirt outfit and covers the latest issue of British GQ in a bikini. She actually looks like a woman. She even says so herself.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 actress, 21, wears a retro-sexy bikini, sporting bright-red lipstick and with her brunette locks in screen-siren waves.

What does Stewart think of her evolution? “I looked like a boy for a long time,” she told GQ. “Now I feel like a woman.” Us Magazine

Thank god because it was getting real confusing masturbating to her.

Mila Kunis graces the August issue of GQ where she talks about Friends With Benefits and being a Trekkie. Great. So Mila Kunis is pandering to geeks now? Not quite.

First up is the obligatory have you ever or would you have a friend with benefits. Turns out she’s no fun. Boo.

GQ: Your new movie is called Friends with Benefits. Ever been in one of those relationships?

Mila Kunis: Oy. I haven’t, but I can give you my stance on it: It’s like communism—good in theory, in execution it fails. Friends of mine have done it, and it never ends well. Why do people put themselves through that torture?

GQ: It’s because they enjoy sex.

Mila Kunis: But friends with benefits isn’t a purely sexual relationship—it’s two people who like each other having sex, not a random hookup. And when two people who like each other have sex, eventually someone catches feelings and everything is fucked. You might be able to treat our relationship as killing time. I might not. I may be in love with you.

That’s debatable. I can assure you the women who have sex with me don’t like me at all. But I digress.

Later on in the interview, Mila Kunis discusses her fascination with Star Trek.

GQ: When did you get into Star Trek?

Mila Kunis: I got into it in my late teens—18, 19, 20. Something like that. I got into it later than most people. But let’s not talk about it in the past tense. I’m still a Star Trek fan. You never stop being one. Let me give you my rundown of the series in order of most favorite to least favorite.

GQ: I definitely have my answer to this. Let’s hear it.

Mila Kunis: Okay. You should know this list is an ongoing argument between Seth MacFarlane and myself. But I have it: The Next Generation; the original series; then Voyager—

GQ: Okay, you’re already wrong.

Mila Kunis: Fuck. You and I are in trouble already. This always happens with Star Trek fans. After Voyager, then I have Deep Space Nine. Then last is Enterprise.

Cough*nerd*cough! Can someone find a trash can? I have an overwhelming urge to put her in one. Granted, that really depends on this last question. Has she attended any conventions and/or Star Trek theme bars. Be careful, Mila. How extreme your wedgie is is determined by your answer.

GQ: Did your Star Trek fandom extend further than just watching the show?

Mila Kunis: Uh, I went a little bit further.

GQ: How so?

Mila Kunis: I went to the Star Trek Experience in Vegas maybe five years ago. I hung out with a bunch of fake characters inside Quark’s bar. [Ed note: Quark was the name of the Ferengi bartender on DS9.] There were all these actors there pretending to be the different characters from the different shows. Yes, I loved it.

GQ: Please tell me you didn’t go by yourself.

Mila Kunis: No! I went with friends. I’m not that big of a loser. But I also have a signed Leonard Nimoy photo in a little frame that a girlfriend gave to me for my 21st birthday. And I’ve got a bunch of vintage Star Trek figurines given to me by Jason Segel. God, it’s so embarrassing.

*Shakes head* I didn’t want to do this but. *Grabs Mila’s panties with two hands* *Pulls until an audible snap is heard*

The Oscar nominated Jennifer Lawrence is in the May issue of GQ in just her underwear to promote Mel Gibson’s The Beaver and X-Men: First Class, where she plays Mystique. It was alright. She sort of looks like Leelee Sobieski but different. *Cups hands in front of chest* *Jumps up and down*

Australian Abbie Cornish graces the April issue of GQ hitting stands March 22. She’s promoting the new Zack Snyder epic sword and guns fantasy movie Sucker Punch which may or may not have turned people off after test screenings. From GQ:

Girls who have got that don’t need to play knocked-up smack addicts (Candy) or button down for tricky little period pieces (Bright Star). So let us celebrate the fact that she has (finally) put away serious things and decided to go a little Hollywood, playing the role of unjustly institutionalized, definitely very dangerous Sweet Pea in Sucker Punch. Nerd-core director Zack Snyder’s latest tells the trippy tale of five tough-as-nails chicks busting out of a psych ward—and forced the 28-year-old Australian actress to hit the armory for the first time in her life. “I’m a vegetarian—I’m not the type to want to go shoot a gun,” says Cornish. “Then I actually got to the range and totally fell in love with an M4. It was kind of amazing.” Somewhere in heaven, Charlton Heston nods sagely.

I want to like Sucker Punch but Zack Snyder has a habit of using great visuals and slacking on the story and pacing. 300 was great, visually, but sucked as a movie. Watchmen was alright but played up to being an epic movie when it could have been shorter. At least in Sucker Punch everyone can distract themselves with hot chicks in skimpy clothes shooting stuff. That’s pretty much all I ask for from any movie.

Diane Kruger tells the March edition of GQ that Quentin Tarantino didn’t believe she was really German when he was casting for Inglourious Basterds.

Evidently Tarantino was unconvinced by her blond hair, blue eyes, and flawless Master Race complexion, not to mention the slightly more compelling evidence that she was born in Lower Saxony, christened with the awfully German surname Heidkrüger, and is totally, completely, indisputably German. “You know how it is,” Kruger says. “Sometimes filmmakers get hung up on something. I basically had to fly to Germany and show him my passport.” Tarantino’s disbelief was so peculiarly at odds with basic facts that one wonders if he just didn’t have the heart to tell Kruger he thought she wasn’t up to the job. At least that would have made sense. That Kruger delivered such a bold, brassy turn in Basterds was—just bein’ honest here—more than a little stunning, because—still bein’ honest here—her acting career did not begin with much promise. She was so forgettable in Troy and National Treasure that we forgot she was in them. But now Kruger has our full attention.

I don’t believe Diane Kruger is German either. Can she fly out here and prove it to me? I’m making a really important movie that I’d think she’d be interested in but it’s very exclusive and authentic casting is essential. The film is called Stand in Front of This Camera and Strip. That’s all I can tell you about it for now.

For those of you not blessed with the gift of sight, Minka Kelly is really hot which is why I’m required by law to post any pictures of her that show more than 50% skin. With the debut of her new movie The Roommate, it was bound to happen. And it did back in January. But The Roommate releases this week so GQ released a few outtakes from the shoot.

This is really unfair that not only has Derek Jeter run through half of the women in Hollywood but he also gets to be with Minka. What’s his secret? Is it a gun?