The weekend numbers are in and “Grindhouse” surprisingly did not slaughter the competition. In fact, quite the opposite happened. “Blades of Glory”, “Meet the Robinsons” and “Are We Done Yet?” demolished the back to back double feature. Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez’s combined efforts managed a paltry $11.5 million while the aforementioned human waste took in $23 million, $17 million and $15 million respectively (numbers according to Box Office Mojo).

I get that “Grindhouse” wasn’t the type of kiddie fodder God-fearing parents would take their children to go see Easter weekend, but come on. Will Ferrell’s time has come and gone. There’s only so many things he can do with deadpan humor until you become queasy. And Ice Cube’s “Are We Done Yet?” whose name echoes the sentiments of millions ended on top of “Grindhouse”. Maybe this says something about society. I haven’t figured out what yet, but I’m guessing it has a lot to do with an epidemic of babies being dropped on their heads. I don’t know, this all just so disheartening.

Sorry for the late start. You still love me. Yes?

Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez have secured an R rating for Grindhouse after being forced to cut the 3 hour and 5 minute film to avoid an NC-17 rating. According to the Post,

…the Quentin Tarantino-Robert Rodriguez movie was in danger of getting an NC-17 tag, thanks to such scenes as one of a man’s being beheaded while his girlfriend performs a sex act on him. But the studio avoided the ultrarestrictive rating by shortening the gross-outs.

Thanks MPAA. Without your opinions on what’s acceptable to a society based on a few people, I might actually have to think for myself. And that’s bad. I already spend way too much brain power doing hard stuff like walking and talking. Sometimes simultaneously. Shock and horror, I know. I must be a GD genius or something.

The official trailer for Grindhouse came out and it’s so hard to talk through all this drool. I have to go wipe myself.

Yahoo has the new Grindhouse trailer. I just peed myself. Mark this day on your calendars. April 6. That’s when there’ll be a collective orgasm among Tarantino/Rodriguez fans. If this was any more awesome, I would marry it. Then I would ask its permission for sex. Then I’d do it doggy style, pull its hair back and ask it who its daddy was.

Grindhouse is a collaborative effort between Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. A pretty long trailer was shown at Comicon and now another trailer has hit the net. Orgasmic is the only word I can think of. Actually, that’s the only word I can ever think of. I think I have a parasite in my brain.

In addition to scoring a role in The Brave One, Naveen Andrews has been cast as a military scientist for Robert Rodriguez’s half of Grind House, Planet Terror. Grind House is a collaboration between Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. They both direct their own 75 minute horror film and slap them together. Then between the two films, trailers and extras from other filmmakers will be shown like the old grindhouses. The movie is set to be released in 2007.

All I know about this is that Planet Terror is about zombies and Death Proof (Tarantino’s) is a slasher flick. It’s hard to say if this will be good since both these guys have had up and down moments.

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