Paris Hilton and her boyfriend Doug Reinhardt hit up a club in Cannes last night and pretty much humped each other around the place. God damn, this isn’t a porno set.

You want to know why Paris and Doug were the only ones sitting? Because no one else wanted anywhere near those snail trails Paris left on the seats. Even pouring hand sanitizer over the area didn’t work. Paris’ vagina juice just sort of repelled the antibacterial liquid like oil does to water.

What’d Lady Gaga go around flashing her labia for? I get that she doesn’t wear pants, but by now, shouldn’t she have mastered the art of tucking that in? This doesn’t even happen to Brooke Hogan and she has a huge penis to worry about. Maybe GaGa can ask her for advice. But she should first soften her up by telling her how small her adam’s apple looks today before diving straight in to the personal stuff. It helps to build rapport.

Shauna Sand is the ex-wife of Lorezno Lamas and was in Playboy and if you’re experiencing a strange tingling sensation right now, that’s just your body warning you this post is about to go downhill from here on out. It seems Shauna, although a big fan of plastic surgery, isn’t so enthused with bras or panties. This major character flaw led to her flashing her Frankenstein nipple and vadge as she exited her vehicle over the weekend. it’s unclear weather she made it out alright or slipped on the vomit spewing from the mouths of photogs. When asked for comment, Tara Reid said, “Dayaaaaam!” Gross closeup of her mangled lady parts here. Images are NSFW and disturbing.

See update below

Mythbusters forum via ONTD has forever scarred my soul with this picture. For that, I am compelled to pass it along to you guys. I don’t want to be alone in this and you shall all suffer with me. If you’re wondering why this is on here, this picture is supposedly Adam Savage from Mythbusters and I want to vomit. Don’t click on this link. There’s a reason the header is completely blacked out. It is highly NSFW and there’s no turning back. To give you an idea of what this is of, a poster the Mythbusters forum writes:

this is to whomever is posting the photos of Adam naked, my 11 year old son woke up early and hopped on the computer to come here to see what episodes are coming up (this is one of his favorite shows) and clicked a photo link (i wont post it here)
but the link seems to contain naked photos of Adam Savage, he was terribly upset by these and I feel compelled to contact media sources for scarring my young boy.

this WAS his favorite show, hes been crying all morning.

please look into this, and until i see an apology for this consider my family no longer viewers of Mythbusters OR ANY Discovery channel shows, if these are the kinds of perverts you put on air.

thanks

A concerned parent.

Note that it’s not yet been proven if this picture is of the real Adam Savage so you may really be staring at someone else completely. I’m not sure if that makes you feel better or worse.

Update: As you all suspected, it’s not Adam Savage. Adam Savage would have shaved. Proof here. (NSFW)

Dear god, is…. is that what I think it is hanging out of her dress?

Photo via Last Night’s Party

The man behind the infamous “2 Girls, 1 Cup” (NSFW, don’t click unless you want to be fired or turned on) video which has tested the gag reflex of millions around the world is a Brazilian named Marco Fiorito. (“2 girls, 1 Cup” is basically two girls shitting and vomiting in a cup and eating it.) Fiorito is a “compulsive fetishist” who started making foot fetish films and later moved up to feces and vomit. U.S. prosecutors have branded some of his films as obscene and, therefore, illegal to sell. Regardless, he claims that it is legal in Brazil where he lives. The Smoking Gun says,

In June, Croce [Daniel Croce, lived in U.S. and indicted because of involvement with Fiorito's company], who cooperated with investigators, copped a plea and was later sentenced to three years of unsupervised probation (since he was returning to Brazil) and ordered to forfeit $98,000. In his declaration, Fiorito explained that had he known that selling his films in the U.S. was illegal, “I would have stopped because the money is not the main reason that I make these films.” He then added, “I have already made fetish movies with scat/feces using chocolate instead of feces. Many actors make scat films but they don’t agree to eat feces.”

The sad part of this is that I’ve seen much worse years ago. Mostly by the Japanese. Although, Americans are catching up pretty quickly. U-S-A, U-S-A! It’s like an arms race except with scat and vomit and the only thing close to blowing up is some poor girl’s colon.