Heidi Klum showed up for another Halloween party the other day in NYC with her husband Seal. Both dressed up as apes from Planet of the Apes. At least I hope the costumes were inspired by Planet of the Apes or else Heidi Klum is really racist for making Seal dress up like a monkey. But I’m assuming it was from the movie. Unless she got up on the microphone, shouted “Hey, guys, guess who I am?,” and started singing “Kiss From a Rose.” If that was the case, then awk-ward.

Kate Upton showed up to a Halloween event over the weekend dressed as Tabasco sauce complete with a little green hat as the cap. If you stare at the nutrition label on her back, you’ll be happy to know she has 0 grams of fat and is 100% sugar. This will be the best burning sensation you’ve ever felt.

Sadly, she didn’t go as Nicki Minaj as she said she would a couple days ago.

Being that you love Nicki, would you be going as Nicki for Halloween?

I should do that! I didn’t even think about that. I might end up going to a Halloween party, but all these Halloween parties are themed. Now I think I’m going to have to go as Nicki Minaj, now that you brought that up! Global Grind

What a letdown. I wanted to see Kate Upton in blackface.

Gwen Stefani arrived for a party in Beverly Hills over the weekend as Cinderella. So she dressed up as a beautiful princess. That’s bullsh*t if you think about it. It would be like if I dressed up as Thor or if Spencer Pratt dressed up as a gigantic douche bag. The costumes at that point would just be redundant.

Heidi Klum hosted her annual Halloween party at Tao in Vegas over the weekend and for the umpteenth time in a row, outdid everyone with her Halloween costume. This year, she came as one of the pieces at the Body exhibit even going so far as to be wheeled out on a bloody gurney. Not only that, but she kept if fashionable, slapping on a pair of 6 inch heels for good measure.

If this is how into Halloween Heidi is, just imagine what the trick-or-treaters get when they go to her place. She probably assembled a team of scientists to develop a candy that brings people to orgasm.

Shaq dressed up as Shaqeeta for Halloween and then had someone record him lip-syncing Beyonce in the middle of nowhere. This is possibly the most terrifying Halloween costume/thing I’ve ever seen. This is one prostitute you don’t proposition. This prostitute propositions you and it’s not so much as a proposition as it is a demand with a threat of violence. Ahh!

At first I thought Alyson Hannigan’s costume was awesome. A murderous Raggedy Ann with her kid as a dead pet monkey in her arms! But then I realized her kid was being an idiot and wasn’t pretending to play dead and I also realized this reminded me of a scene from The Nutcracker. Jesus. If that was my kid, I’d at least put a muzzle on them to pretend they had rabies and I’d modify their red wagon into a mobile cage. I’d also get them drunk so they’d act real stupid inside their cage.

Here’s Amanda Seyfried in her Dopey Dog costume at Kate Hudson’s Halloween party in Pacific Palisades before she hooked-up with Ryan Phillippe and went back to his house.

Photogs caught her leaving Ryan’s house costume-less the next day and asked if they were dating. Like a proper slut, Seyfried said, “You never know!” Damn, this Amanda chick is hot.

What happened to the costume though? I kind of wanted pictures of someone in full “Dopey Dog” outfit doing the walk of shame. That would have made my day.

Kate Beckinsale usually dresses up as something sexy for Halloween to go trick-or-treating with her kids in. Last year she was a hot Red Riding Hood. This year, however, she and her husband went as Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein. How disappointing. To think I saved my boner for this!

Jenni Farley, JWoww, came dressed as a slutty school girl at the Jersey Shore Halloween part at Dusk on Saturday. Is it just me or does she look way hotter when she dresses conservatively like this?

Coco showed up at Heidi Klum’s Halloween party dressed as a slutty nurse. She clearly bought this costume in the kids section of whatever Halloween store she went to. Should we tell her or just keep it between us?

If you were looking for celeb news, you might as well scoot back from the edge of your seat because today is going to be 90% celebs in their Halloween costumes. Like Kim Kardashian, for instance. She showed up as slutty Red Riding Hood. A pretty generic costume but the way she pushed her breasts out more than made up for it. There’s no doubt in my mind that if the real Red Riding Hood looked like this, the big bad wolf would have raped her.

Every year Heidi Klum holds her annual Halloween party where she dresses up just so she can embarrass everyone else and their Halloween Superstore costume. This year was no different. Held at NYC’s Lavo, Heidi dressed up as an 8-foot-tall robo superhero while Seal dressed up as the Silver Surfer. Heidi could have called herself Thanos and no one would have said anything.

“I wanted to be like an alien transformer,” she told Us at the party at NYC’s Lavo. “It took a few hours [to get ready], but I was well-prepared because someone has been building it for me for quite some time, so when the time came, I just put it on. But the makeup, that took a little while longer!”

I heard if you came to this party dressed in a fancy argyle sweater or even as a generic vampire and you weren’t a chick with big tits and a push-up bra, everyone got to throw rotten tomatoes at you.

Aimee Teegarden is on Friday Night Lights and she had a short stint on the 90210 reboot. Suffice to say, no one really knows who she is. Until now. Or I mean until after Halloween of 2009 when she put up these pictures of her costume which I hadn’t seen until today. But now she’ll be a big star. You just watch!