After David Hasselhoff’s daughter, Hayley, was scratched by a cat, The Hoff called 911 and told them that his daughter attempted suicide. Hasselhoff and wife, Bach, are going through a messy divorce and Bach says it was just an attempt to make her look like a bad parent.

Hayley was taken to the hospital and released shortly thereafter. This story is so convoluted that factual details are hard to come by. Some sites say Bach questioned David as to why he would call 911 over a cat scratch while others say David never talked to Bach at all. You know what I say? Ooga chakka. Hooga hooga ooga chakka. I can’t stop this feeling, deep inside of me. Girl you just don’t realize, what you do to me. When you hold me, in your arms so tight. You let me know everything’s all right. I’m hooked on a feeling. No, seriously. The cat probably went gonzo after hearing and watching this song and dance.