On Monday, Seal taped an interview with Ellen to promote his album Soul 2. Of course the topic of his separation came up which led to him explaining why he still wears his wedding ring. Spoiler: It’s not because he has fat fingers.

“It’s just pretty much a token of how I feel about this woman,” he says on the show airing Wednesday. “We have eight years, eight wonderful years together. Just because we have decided to separate doesn’t necessarily mean you take off your ring and you’re no longer connected to that person. We will be connected in many ways ’til the rest of our lives.”

As to whether he’ll wear the ring for the rest of his life, he says, “Who knows?”

“But right now it feels really comfortable on my hand so I have no intentions of taking it off anytime soon,” he says.

The separation, he tells DeGeneres, left him and Klum just as “shocked” as everybody. But he says the pair found that “you just grow apart after awhile.”

“It’s a shame,” he says. “To say that neither of us were grieving would be an out-and-out lie.” PEOPLE

So the ring is a symbol of how he and Heidi will be connected for the rest of their lives. I take it he’s planted a hidden camera somewhere in the house already.

Speaking of cameras, while Seal says he and Heidi “grew apart,” inside sources say the real reason for the split is Seal’s explosive temper which comes out especially when someone goes into his special camera room.

The source described Seal as having “entitlement” issues and an explosive temper. For example, she said that Seal has a room at home full of vintage cameras, and if anyone goes inside he goes “ballistic”. However, like we reported earlier, their separation doesn’t necessarily mean divorce. The source says the threat alone may be enough to convince Seal to get help with his anger issues. Hollywood Life

My first thought when I heard “camera room” was “sex dungeon” but apparently it was something way nerdier. For once, I’d like a celebrity to have a sex dungeon. Then we can be twinsies.

PEOPLE and Us Weekly were holding out hope that they didn’t get scooped in the Heidi Klum/Seal divorce story so they contacted sources who claimed the two weren’t separating and were merely going through a rough patch. Well, sorry, sources, but maybe you weren’t as good of friends with Heidi and Seal as you thought you were.

In an official statement to PEOPLE, Heidi and Seal have announced the end of their almost seven year marriage.

“While we have enjoyed seven very loving, loyal and happy years of marriage, after much soul-searching we have decided to separate.

“We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other very much, but we have grown apart. This is an amicable process and protecting the well-being of our children remains our top priority, especially during this time of transition.

“We thank our family, friends, and fans for their kind words of support. And for our children’s sake, we appreciate you respecting our privacy.” PEOPLE

TMZ says the split has to do largely in part with Seal’s temper which had become too much for Heidi to take. Heidi has also “become a mega-entrepreneur and extremely rich” which has created a distance between them.

That makes sense. When any report talks about Heidi Klum it’s just “Heidi Klum” but when they write about Seal they always tell people it’s “that guy who sang ‘Kiss From a Rose’”. I can see how having to remind everyone you’re famous for singing that song from the awful Batman Forever movie 17 years ago could have an emotional impact.

A report by TMZ over the weekend claimed a divorce between Heidi Klum and Seal was imminent. But if Us Weekly and PEOPLE are to be believed, it’s not happening. Though the couple has hit a rough patch, they have no plans to split just yet, claims the two publications.

“Nothing is finalized or for sure. Seal flew back from the UK yesterday and he and Heidi are in the house together now,” friend close to the couple tells Us. “They’ve had a very rough road lately. They’re either madly in love or having crazy fights.”

The friend goes on to say that the couple’s recent trip to Aspen was full of tension, adding “they fought a lot. It was a very hard trip.” Us Weekly

PEOPLE seconded the two’s bipolar relationship reiterating that there’s no divorce yet.

Contrary to reports that surfaced Saturday, “They’ve been fighting a lot lately, but they have no plans to announce a split right now,” the source says. “They’re not divorcing.”

But they have been weathering a rough patch.

According to the insider, in recent months, distance has tested the famously lovey-dovey pair.

Back together at their Brentwood, Calif., home on Saturday, “they seem to be doing a lot better,” the source adds. “They’re both wearing their wedding bands.” PEOPLE

Aw, hell no. I already broke out the massage oils and bath bombs as part of my master plan for comforting Heidi Klum in her time of need. Plus, I’ve been doing shoulder shrugs for the past hour to give her something substantial to cry on. Next time Heidi decides to save her marriage, she should quit being so selfish and think about me first.

Heidi Klum and Seal married in May of 2005 after Heidi was swept off her feet by Seal’s gigantic package. Three biological kids, six cutesy Halloweens and yearly renewals of their vows later, they’re divorcing. Heidi will cite the regular standby, “irreconcilable differences.” But what about the money? Well, I’m glad you asked, gold digger.

As for splitting up the goodies, there’s a lot on the line. According to Forbes, in the last year alone, Klum raked in $20 million. It’s unclear how much Seal made. TMZ

In a two word tweet, Seal simply wrote, “The End.” And I guess it is. For him. For Heidi, it’s just the beginning because I’ve been waiting years to make my move. Yes, looks like everything is finally coming up Millhouse.

Heidi Klum showed up for another Halloween party the other day in NYC with her husband Seal. Both dressed up as apes from Planet of the Apes. At least I hope the costumes were inspired by Planet of the Apes or else Heidi Klum is really racist for making Seal dress up like a monkey. But I’m assuming it was from the movie. Unless she got up on the microphone, shouted “Hey, guys, guess who I am?,” and started singing “Kiss From a Rose.” If that was the case, then awk-ward.

Heidi Klum hosted her annual Halloween party at Tao in Vegas over the weekend and for the umpteenth time in a row, outdid everyone with her Halloween costume. This year, she came as one of the pieces at the Body exhibit even going so far as to be wheeled out on a bloody gurney. Not only that, but she kept if fashionable, slapping on a pair of 6 inch heels for good measure.

If this is how into Halloween Heidi is, just imagine what the trick-or-treaters get when they go to her place. She probably assembled a team of scientists to develop a candy that brings people to orgasm.

Heidi Klum: Mommy, topless beach-goer. Heidi and Seal spent the weekend in Sardinia with their kids, Leni, Henry, Johan and Lou. Whoa, when did they get so many?

Heidi, of course, went topless. Because she’s German. Germans don’t have the same hang-ups on nudity as Americans do.  At least that’s what I told the German tourists as I pulled down their bikini tops. Lighten up, ladies.

You can find the topless shots on my Twitter because advertisers don’t like boobs or something.

Here’s stuff I missed during the week condensed into one post. Without the pulp.

- Mila Kunis is in the February edition of the L.A. Times magazine where she continued looking hot. In the interview, she said comedies are just as hard, if not harder than dramas. Hehe, she said hard. Also, she’s loaded and doesn’t need to work if she doesn’t have to. Pictures start here.

- Heidi Klum is in the March edition of Lucky Magazine where she says her personal style icon is her mother, that when she’s happy she likes to pig out on a Big Mac, fries and a Coke and that she loves shopping with her gay husband Michael Ostrow who tells her it’s not the pants that make her look fat, it’s her ass. I never knew Seal’s gay alter ego had its own name or that it was so bitchy. Pictures start here.

- Maria Kanellis, WWE diva/Celebrity Apprentice contestant, did a photo shoot in Huntington Beach yesterday afternoon for an ad campaign for her Maria Kanellis Signature Perfume Line. Why they thought to send this to me, I have no idea. It must be my love for girls in bikinis. They sure do know the fastest way to my heart. Pictures start here.

- TMZ captured 12 seconds worth of footage of Charlie Sheen dancing with a bunch of women before his 36-hour bender. Then they looped the video 5 times and put it in slow motion at the end just in case we missed any of those 12 seconds. Which I did. Thanks, guys. Bonus: Charlie Sheen has a fancy grill.

Every November Victoria’s Secret has their annual fashion show. The event is meant to show off their latest line of lingerie and what not but it all seems like a clever ruse to give me an erection. I’m on to you, Victoria’s Secret.

Every year Heidi Klum holds her annual Halloween party where she dresses up just so she can embarrass everyone else and their Halloween Superstore costume. This year was no different. Held at NYC’s Lavo, Heidi dressed up as an 8-foot-tall robo superhero while Seal dressed up as the Silver Surfer. Heidi could have called herself Thanos and no one would have said anything.

“I wanted to be like an alien transformer,” she told Us at the party at NYC’s Lavo. “It took a few hours [to get ready], but I was well-prepared because someone has been building it for me for quite some time, so when the time came, I just put it on. But the makeup, that took a little while longer!”

I heard if you came to this party dressed in a fancy argyle sweater or even as a generic vampire and you weren’t a chick with big tits and a push-up bra, everyone got to throw rotten tomatoes at you.

Roberto Cavalli had a 40th anniversary celebration for his label and I wasn’t invited. That’s okay though. I didn’t need to mingle with a hot as hell Rachel Bilson or Heidi Klum. I was perfectly happy sitting at home watching videos of cats on YouTube. I’m so lonely.

No, Heidi Klum doesn’t have a sex tape nor is she actually nude in Seal’s video for his new single ‘Secret’ and yes, the song is sort of lovey dovey to the point of making you puke but at least Heidi is slightly naked. Sigh. I’m sorry I tricked you. We can still be friends though, right?

Much like Lindsay Lohan’s incarceration, all good things must come to an end. After 13 years of walking the runway and being one of Victoria’s Secret hottest models, “Head Angel” Heidi Klum is quitting the company.

Heidi said to Page Six at Fashion Week, “All good things have to come to an end. I will always love Victoria’s Secret. It has been an absolutely amazing time.” Victoria’s Secret is now faced with the task of choosing a new “Head Angel”. Page Six says it could be Alessandra Ambrosio or rodent-like Adriana Lima or if they want to flip the script, one of the new angels, Rosie Huntington-Whitely, Candice Swanepoel, Chanel Iman or Erin Heatheron.

They better choose Alessandra Ambrosio. She’s the hottest one left. Adriana Lima looks like she should be nibbling on a piece of cheese in the corner somewhere and Rosie Huntington-Whitely is only famous because of Transformers 3. I don’t know who the others are so if Alessandra doesn’t get it, I don’t know what I’ll do. Probably punch my stuffed animals because I’m scared of confrontation.