Last week, Haylie Duff painted her sister Hilary’s baby bump with a picture of a wrapped present and the text “Happy Holidays”. Then Hilary posted the photo to Twitter with the caption, “Happy holidays from the three of us!! @HaylieK what would I do without you and your artistic ways!”

Cool story, huh, bro. Should I tell it again?

On Sunday, Hilary Duff shared a very special anniversary announcement on her website. Not only has it been a year since she and Pittsburgh Penguins player Mike Comrie married (relive the sexy proposal here) but she’s also infected with child. Ahh! How is that happy news?! The Duffster wrote,

Hello everyone!

This weekend, Mike and I are celebrating our 1 year anniversary!

In memory of the special day, we decided to post some of our favorite pictures from our wedding!

I can’t believe it has already been a year, time really flies when you’re having fun!

We also want to share the exciting news that…… BABY MAKES THREE!!!

We are extremely happy and ready to start this new chapter of our lives.

Thanks to everyone for the continued love and support throughout the years!

- Hil and Mike

Weight gain, swollen feet, aches, pains, nausea, food cravings, pushing an 8 pound human out of you. Yea, I agree. It sounds like a blast.

As far as her career goes, Hilary plans to get back to work recording another album. Because not enough people went deaf the first time.

Hilary Duff did a modeling shoot for active wear designer Danskin. She’s a middling D-lister but she has a kick-ass body. She should do a lot more of this instead of acting. Oh, wait. I think she is. Carry on then.

According to Just Jared, Hilary Duff tweeted that she was almost arrested in Paris. “Mouloud Achour makes me smile. Fun time with you even though you almost got me arrested ;),” wrote Hilary.

No other details were given but judging by these photos of her in Paris yesterday, Mouloud Achour almost convinced police she was a hooker. Intuition. I have it.

Hilary Duff, 22, and Canadian hockey player Mike Comrie, 29, married in Santa Barbara, California on Saturday at the Mediterranean Villa La Quinta at 8 PM under an arch of flowers and in front of 100 guests. Duff wore a Vera Wang gown and Mike wore a suit soaked in tears.

Sigh, it seems like only yesterday that Mike proposed to Hilary. I wish we could relive that magical moment somehow. Oh, wait.

Rumor is that the ring Mike Comrie gave Hilary Duff for their engagement might have cost him $1 million. An appraiser estimated $750,000 to HollywoodLife. In either case, it makes a lot of sense considering how enthusiastically Hilary Duff accepted. She was so happy that she buried her head into Mike Comrie’s crotch to cry tears of joy.

Bauer-Griffin (site is really slow right now) got photos of Mike Comrie proposing to Hilary Duff in Hawaii. I guess she said yes because she went down on him right after. I could be lying of course. You must remember, I like to wildly misinterpret things. He could be having a pants malfunction for all I know.

On a very special episode of Gossip Girl, the one that airs during slipping ratings, Jessica Szohr and Hilary Duff made out in the loosest sense of the term. You could find hotter three-way scenes by typing “corn” in Google. Damnit, something is wrong with the player. Go here to watch it.

In two unrelated items no less.

First up, Meghan McCain wants Hilary Duff to play her in a movie. She’s quoted as saying, “I think she’s really hot — hotter than me — but I’d still want her to play me.” No arguments here. She also wants Bradley Cooper to be in it because he’s “so hot.”

All this brouhaha over Meghan because she has a book being released next spring. Meghan describes her sort of memoir as “Primary Colors” meets Tori Spelling’s “Tori Telling.” A pretty lofty goal since Meghan is only 24 and hasn’t even flashed her vagina. Not even D-List!

In other Duff news, she’s joining Gossip Girl next season. Not just as a one-off guest star either. She’s going to be given a multi-episode arc starting in the fourth episode.

The actress-designer-pop chanteuse will play Olivia Burke, a movie star who enrolls at NYU in search of a traditional college experience. She ends up rooming with Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) so it’s safe to say she’ll be majoring in Drama!

This is going to be great. Hilary Duff can’t act. She’ll barely be able to play herself. She’ll frustrate the director so much that when he finally breaks down and tells her to say what she would normally say in that type of situation, Hilary will just stare into the camera for ten minutes looking like she just farted but doesn’t want anyone to know it was her.

It’s about time Hilary Duff did something interesting. The last time I remember seeing her was when she was stuffing a scorpion down her pants in that horrible movie War Inc. I thought Hollywood took her out back and shot her after that. Apparently not because there were a few stories here and there about her. She’s also been seen wandering the streets like much of the unemployed in Hollywood tend to do. Other than that, no regular person knows who she is anymore. If you went up to a random person in the street and asked about Hilary Duff, they’d stammer, “Hi-hi-hil-hilary?” It’d sound like they were learning to speak for the first time.

A very generous Hilary Duff left an 80% tip ($200) on a $250 bill at the Byron and Tracey Salon in Beverly Hills where she had her hair dyed and styled. But don’t think this is a one time thing. She makes it rain everywhere she goes. For example, at the valet, in restrooms and at Starbucks. Says Star:

And it’s not just at the salon that she splurges. “She slips hundreds to everyone, from valets and restroom attendants to Starbucks cashiers,” says a pal, explaining that Hilary is so generous because when her mom, Susan, worked as a makeup artist she often got crummy tips.

On the surface, it sounds a lot better than the tip I usually leave which is me telling people not to let the door hit them on the way out, but mine is more of a life tip which should prove invaluable to them in the future.

Faye Dunaway was asked her opinion on casting Hilary Duff as Bonnie in the Bonnie and Clyde remake. Not one to beat around the bush, Faye quipped, “Couldn’t they have at least cast a real actress?”

Duff fought back, “I think that my fans that are going to go see the movie don’t even know who she is, so you know… I think it was a little unnecessary but I might be mad if I looked like that now too.”

Oh, snap. That’s what I would have said if Faye Dunaway wasn’t 68. Of course she looks like that now. What do you expect her to look like? A mermaid?

Hilary Duff is just mad Faye is right. At 27, Faye was nominated for an Oscar and at 36, actually won an Oscar. Compare that to Hilary whose greatest achievement was receiving a Razzie nomination for worst actress in 2005, 2006 and 2007. Three years in a row, baby! Nevertheless, in a fight, I’d go with Hilary. Look at those broad shoulders. You just can’t bet against that.

Hilary Duff and her boyfriend Mike Comrie of the New York Islanders were in the Caribbean over the weekend reading Bazar and telling each other how great their asses looked in their bathing suits. I hear Hilary and Mike’s periods are already in synch.