This should really become a daily thing. How many magazines are out there? Christ. Enjoy.

- Abby Elliott in Maxim.

- Aimee Teegarden in an unknown photoshoot. She sort of looks like Elisha Cuthbert here.

- Annaelle in FHM France. Honestly, I don’t know who this chick is but you can see through her bra.

- Beatrice Chirita for Vova’s Fall/Winter campaign. I have it on good authority this girl is a model.

- Dianna Agron does Nylon.

- Emmy Rossum in Malibu Magazine. Sadly, not nude.

- Gina Carano does GQ. I wonder how long it took them to photoshop that fat off her. Everyone knows she blows up when she’s not training for a fight.

- Hilary Swank in Gotham not looking like a dude.

- Jessica Alba does In Style.

- Joanna Krupa in CKM Magazine.

- Kat Dennings in Bust Magazine.

- Kate Beckinsale in Flaunt.

- Kim Kardashian does Marie Claire.

- Lady Gaga gets made-up in GQ India.

- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley poses for Harper’s Bazaar

- Yvonne Strahovski for Allure

Wait. Hilary Swank is a chick?! Whaaaa? *Scratches head*

Hilary Swank hit up the Vanity Fair Party yesterday in this thing. If her neckline plunged any further, it’d just be two halves of a shirt. Which would have been awesome. She could have really made a statement. Not sure about what quite yet, but the opportunity would be there if she wanted.

Just a friendly reminder. A lot of you may have forgotten this, but Hilary Swank is, in fact, a chick.

Hilary Swank underwent a minor medical procedure to have a benign growth removed. The 34-year-old actress was “experiencing some discomfort and went to see her doctor, who prescribed an immediate course of action that included a brief hospitalization to remove a small, benign growth. Her condition has been resolved and there are no continuing health issues, with the exception of some short-term rest and recuperation.”

It may have been 20 years overdue, but it seems Hilary Swank’s balls finally dropped. I read in a medical journal that it’s better to remove the male genitalia after that happens or else complications could arise. Just kidding. I never read a medical journal, but it sounded believable, right? Admit it.

Hilary Swank is set to put on 20 to 30 pounds to play the lead in French Women Don’t Get Fat. One source has complete confidence in Hilary and says she can handle anything. However, close friends are concerned that she’s too small to be doing this and are worried about the effects it will have on her heart.

While French Women is nonfiction, an early premise says Swank will play the manager of a champagne company dealing with French beauties who consume bread, wine and pastries yet never gain an ounce. And naturally, self discovery happens along the way.

Hilary Swank? Fat? Finally. Another insult I can add to my arsenal. Let me give you guys a preview of what’s to come in the following months. Ahem.

Fatty fat fat fat. Hahahha. Would fatty like some pancakes. With extra syrup? And mayo? I bet fatty would. Ha ha, dumb fatty!

Thank you, thank you. *Takes a bow*

Crazy, unbelievable news surfaced today. Recently unearthed pictures of a Calvin Klein photo shoot suggest equine-esque Hilary Swank may in fact be a woman. I know, I know. I’m as shocked as you are.

Hilary Swank is on the cover of W magazine and in it, she talks about love, New York, her metabolism and taking 45 supplements a day in addition to her vitamin injections. I guess this means she swallows almost as much as your mother. Oh, snap!

“This is my Aloe C, which I dissolve in water. Here’s my flax. This one’s for my immune system, and this one is my BrainWave—it’s great, like if I have a lot of lines to memorize. I just took my most important ones, which are my Oz Garcia Longevity Pak. I shoved them in my mouth right before I met you, which I actually shouldn’t do, because I choked on my vitamins once before.”

The only people I know who take that many supplements are ones training for an Olympic event or an MMA fight. I think this explains a lot. Like why she was perfect for the role of Brandon in Boys Don’t Cry and why when I met her she was bending a steel bar with her bare hands while, at the same time, telling me I make fun of her too much. “Why… why do you carry a steel bar around with you Hilary? Ahhh, ok. Don’t hurt me. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Wow, who knew a few simple grunts could scare me so much.

Hilary Swank went to the pool at the Regina hotel in Italy the other day. So, if you’ve ever wanted to know what a horse looks like in a bikini, then ta-da.

It’s my birthday Saturday so I’ll be in Vegas over the weekend until Monday. Maybe you’ll see new posts Monday and maybe you won’t. Maybe I’ll come back a millionaire or maybe I’ll come back with two broken legs. The only thing we know for sure is I lead a life of mystery and intrigue.

• Lindsay Lohan shows her belly. [The Skinny Website]
• Nelly Furtado will guest star on CSI:NY. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Nicolas Cage is quite the looker. [ICYDK]
• Sienna Miller is into older men. [Popsugar]
• No lesbian sex for Penelope Cruz. [Ninjadude]
• David Arquette Blames Angelina for Brad and Jenn’s Break-up. [A Socialite's Life]
• Hilary Swank never actually graduated from college. [Celebslam]
• Tara Reid swims with dolphins. [Celebrity Smack]
• Jessica Biel’s butt is nice. [CityRag]
• Nipply Michelle Monaghan. [Bastardly]
• 50 Cent makes condoms too. [Evil Beet]
• Yvonne Decarlo from the Munsters died. [Popbytes]

My mail server is completely broken so no mail after Jan. 3 was received. That’s the bad news. The good news is I’m still sexy. Phew, that’s a relief.

1. Brad Pitt might be old and washed up, but he’s still rich and wanted by half of America. [Celebitchy]
2. Hilary Swank got a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame. They just let anybody in don’t they? [Celebrity Smack]
3. Mariah Carey forces Mary Carey to stop using her name. [CityRag]
4. Britney Spears on a yacht with a K-Fed clone. [Evil Beet]
5. Josh Hartnett got a sloppy BJ in some bathroom. [Dlisted]
6. Gwen Stefani isn’t perfect. [I'm Not Obsessed]
7. Pete Doherty says he did marry Kate Moss. [Agent Bedhead]