If you thought Spencer Pratt was the biggest douchebag ever, think again. He might have competition. Appropriately, it comes from his wife Heidi Montag.

Heidi’s sister Holly celebrated her 26th at Empire Hollywood on Saturday, but Heidi was noticeably absent. The reason may shock you. Or not. Sources say Heidi would only attend her own sister’s birthday party if she was paid an appearance fee. Standard practice in these types of situations. If you were a gigantic asshat.

“Holly was really wishing that her sister could just be a sister and stop by her birthday party, but Heidi only goes places if she is getting paid,” an insider snitched to Tarts. “I mean, this is her sister and she wouldn’t even show up without a fee. That’s disgusting.”

This is proof, people. Douchiness is contagious. So whatever you do, don’t go near Spencer Pratt. In the off chance you do come in direct contact with him, doctor’s recommend you protect yourself by punching Spencer in the throat. It’s like a tetanus shot. But much more enjoyable.

Holly Montag, Stacie Hall and Stephanie Pratt begged their way into the Asics VMA party at 40/40 so they could party with Jay-Z, Rihanna and Justin Timberlake. Pleading with security wasn’t the most embarrassing part of the evening though. That came when Pratt’s credit card was declined after ordering a bottle of champagne. Haha, you suck. Page Six reports:

She asked Montag to hand over her card and left with Hall. A source said Holly appeared not to want to pay for the bottle, “but the waitress wouldn’t give her card back until she signed the bill.” Pratt also made a scene at In Touch Weekly’s shindig at St. Bart’s church. A spy says she wandered around looking “wobbly” and was later “hysterically crying . . . She was a total mess.”

It’s eerie how much Stephanie and Holly’s relationship resembles Spencer and Heidi’s. Both Montags allow themselves to be used by the Pratt’s. The only difference is there’s much less hysterical crying with Stephanie than there is with Spencer.

Proving that neither Heidi Montag nor Spencer Pratt are indispensable, NBC has already replaced the two after they both quit the show after only one day. Their replacements are Stephen Baldwin, 43, and Holly Montag, Heidi’s sister. They are being flown to Costa Rica at this moment.

Holly promises to stay longer than her sister. It’s believed the conversation went something like this: “Are you going to stay longer than your sister?” “I really need the money, man.” Holly is a pretty good negotiator.

A little off topic but how awesome is that picture of Heidi? I want to use it forever. Maybe even print a wallet size version to show people at dinner parties. That way everyone can have a good laugh at Heidi’s expense. It’d go really well with that other picture I have of that old lady falling down the escalator. Ha! Old age has caused her to lose her balance much easier. Sucker.