The Blemish » hook-ups http://theblemish.com Better than a slap to the face Tue, 18 Nov 2014 20:27:44 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.0 Kendall Jenner Dating Chandler Parsons? http://theblemish.com/2014/07/kendall-jenner-dating-chandler-parsons/ http://theblemish.com/2014/07/kendall-jenner-dating-chandler-parsons/#comments Mon, 28 Jul 2014 18:06:48 +0000 http://theblemish.com/?p=185691 In a move that will surely disrupt the Kardashian space-time continuum, Kendall Jenner might be dating NBA star Chandler Parsons. Chandler Parsons… is white. I know, I know. I couldn’t believe it either. Rumors began after they were spotted together sitting next to each other at STK LA Saturday night.

“Kendall and Chandler were flirting throughout the meal,” a spy said. “They laughed and chatted all night.”

This goes against everything the Kardashians stand for. “Not in my house, young lady!,” screamed Kris Jenner.

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Michelle Rodriguez and Zac Efron? http://theblemish.com/2014/07/michelle-rodriguez-and-zac-efron/ http://theblemish.com/2014/07/michelle-rodriguez-and-zac-efron/#comments Mon, 07 Jul 2014 17:32:30 +0000 http://theblemish.com/?p=184665 Let’s discuss this picture of Zac Efron making out with Michelle Rodriguez while holding an iPad. Are they really making out? Maybe Michelle Rodriguez drowned and Zac was attempting to resuscitate her. Maybe he’s trying to explain to her the really cool video he has on his iPad. Maybe he’s checking a mole on her neck to see if it’s cancerous. There are a lot of explanations. Each one as possible as the next.

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Ireland Baldwin Banging Angel Haze Now http://theblemish.com/2014/06/ireland-baldwin-banging-angel-haze-now/ http://theblemish.com/2014/06/ireland-baldwin-banging-angel-haze-now/#comments Fri, 27 Jun 2014 19:10:31 +0000 http://theblemish.com/?p=184154 Ireland Baldwin isn’t about to mince words. She’s fucking rapper/singer Angel Haze. Apparently dating Slater Trout was enough to put her off men for a while. Thanks a lot, jackass.

“I don’t know if there’s like some confirm or deny thing with the way relationships work in the media, but everyone just calls us best friends, best friends for life, like we’re just friends hanging out. It’s funny. It’s rad in some ways, it sucks in others. … There are still certain limitations for women. If we were two guys, it’d be insane, negatively insane with the attention. With us it’s all being very positive, the media are like, ‘Oh they’re so cute, they’re best friends.’ … An interracial gay couple, I mean that’s just weird for America right now. We fuck and friends don’t fuck. I have never fucked one of my friends. Once I see you in that way, it doesn’t happen. But we do fuck and it’s crazy and that’s weird to say because I think about it in terms of an audience reading it and them thinking, ‘What the hell?’ But it happens.”

If you couldn’t read between the lines, Ireland Baldwin and Angel Haze are fucking. I’m not sure if she made that clear.

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Justin Bieber Broke Up Calvin Harris & Rita Ora http://theblemish.com/2014/06/justin-bieber-broke-up-calvin-harris-rita-ora/ http://theblemish.com/2014/06/justin-bieber-broke-up-calvin-harris-rita-ora/#comments Sat, 07 Jun 2014 23:52:22 +0000 http://theblemish.com/?p=183072 On Friday, Calvin Harris tweeted that he and Rita Ora had split some time ago. This could explain that video of him bringing 10 women back to his place. One without underwear.

According to sources, it was all because of Justin Bieber. Justin. Bieber. That twink broke up one of the most popular, richest and wanted DJs in the world and Rita Ora.

It’s rumored that Justin and Rita “got touchy feely” while in the recording studio together the last few months. Calvin heard about how she’d sit on his lap and how he’d rub her back and, like any self-respecting man, he dry-heaved before breaking it off.

The only logical reason I can come up with as to why women like Justin Bieber is that he’s got a gun to their family’s heads and he’s already killed their dog to show them he’s not fucking around.

Anyway, Calvin must be hurting right now. He’s probably crying into the soft, perky breasts of a very flexible 23-year-old on his 5,000 thread count sheets. “I… I don’t think I should be alone tonight.”

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Quentin Tarantino Dating His Muse, Uma Thurman http://theblemish.com/2014/05/quentin-tarantino-dating-his-muse-uma-thurman/ http://theblemish.com/2014/05/quentin-tarantino-dating-his-muse-uma-thurman/#comments Thu, 29 May 2014 20:33:19 +0000 http://theblemish.com/?p=182344 Quentin Tarantino has waited years for this. Twenty years after they first worked together on Pulp Fiction, the two have finally started dating. Again. Thurman recently split from Aprad Busson who she has an almost 2-year-old with.

“They had a thing and got together again recently,” one insider tells Us. “He’s loved her for years.” Both Thurman and Tarantino were presenters at the closing ceremony of the star-studded film fest on Saturday, May 24. The willowy blonde star, 44, wearing a floor-length canary custom Atelier Versace couture gown, walked arm-in-arm on the red carpet with the Oscar-winning director, 51.

“There has always been an attraction,” another source explains. “She has indulged from time to time, and that’s how their relationship has always worked.”

This could explain why Tarantino seemed so happy at the Sils Maria premiere in Cannes where he Pulp Fiction danced around the red carpet. So, do you think every night Quentin cradles Uma’s feet while she’s sleeping and mutters, “My precious. All mine!” I’d put money on it.

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Justin Bieber Hooked Up With Adriana Lima http://theblemish.com/2014/05/justin-bieber-hooked-up-with-adriana-lima/ http://theblemish.com/2014/05/justin-bieber-hooked-up-with-adriana-lima/#comments Wed, 28 May 2014 22:40:15 +0000 http://theblemish.com/?p=182301 Canada’s walking bag of vinegar hooked up with Adriana Lima at the Cannes Film Festival claims a source who’s obviously a filthy liar.

“Justin pursued her hard,” says a pal of the mom of two, who split from husband Marko Jaric in May after five years of marriage. At a private house party later that night, “they were talking nonstop,” adds the source. “They went home together around 5 a.m.”

“He had fun with Adriana,” says a Bieber source. “[But] it won’t turn into anything serious.”

If that whacko Elliot Rodger were still alive, this would have definitely sent him so far over the edge, he’d be like a cartoon treading air 100 feet out from a cliff.

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Aw, God Dammit. Bieber Might Be Hooking Up With Barbara Palvin http://theblemish.com/2014/05/aw-god-dammit-bieber-might-hooking-barbara-palvin/ http://theblemish.com/2014/05/aw-god-dammit-bieber-might-hooking-barbara-palvin/#comments Thu, 22 May 2014 23:15:16 +0000 http://theblemish.com/?p=181873 A new report by E! from Cannes says that after attending the Cinema Against AIDS charity auction where he was “just here to swag,” Justin Bieber and 20-year-old model Barbara Palvin were seen flirting again during Roberto Cavalli’s yacht party. She later left and went back to his hotel.

According to an insider, the Biebs “went straight over” to Palvin and “started chatting and flirting” with her.

“They were clearly really happy to see each other and were smiling, laughing and touching each other’s’ hair and face,” our source tells us.

“She said, ‘It’s so great to see you!’ and had her hand on his back long after they’d hugged each other hello and he was beaming.”

Shortly after the pair reunited on the yacht, Bieber left to head to his suite at the Carlton Hotel moments before Palvin left the party.

Our insider tells us that Palvin also left the party and arrived at the luxury hotel shortly after.

You know how attractive girls tell you they want a nice guy who’s not a douchebag? Haha, you actually believe that? You must not get laid, like, ever.

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Tom Cruise Dating the Chick from ‘That 70’s Show’ http://theblemish.com/2014/04/tom-cruise-dating-chick-70s-show/ http://theblemish.com/2014/04/tom-cruise-dating-chick-70s-show/#comments Fri, 18 Apr 2014 08:25:08 +0000 http://theblemish.com/?p=180471 After fixing up his profile on OKXenu, Tom Cruise managed to score a few dates with Laura Prepon (Orange Is The New Black, That 70’s Show). PR reps deny they’re dating but Page Six says different.

However, my source on the Left Coast says Cruise and Prepon are still seeing each other, but they are being extremely careful to keep it secret. “It’s the buzz on the set of her show,” the insider told me.

The British magazine Grazia reported last fall that Cruise, 51, picked up Prepon, 34, in a vintage car and had a bottle of 1979 Merlot waiting on the table when they arrived at the Manor Hotel.

“They spent three hours laughing and joking. It’s clear Tom is smitten and after the date he was on cloud nine,” the mag reported. “They had their second date at the restaurant, too, meeting for Sunday brunch, and then she accompanied him a few days later to a dinner party at John [Travolta]’s home.”

What goes on at a Scientology party? Do they all hail David Miscavige before getting reverse massages from physical therapists who know how to keep a secret? No, really. I want to know. On a scale of 1 to faaabulous, how gay are these parties?

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Riff Raff Went on a Date With Katy Perry http://theblemish.com/2014/03/riff-raff-went-date-katy-perry/ http://theblemish.com/2014/03/riff-raff-went-date-katy-perry/#comments Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:58:03 +0000 http://theblemish.com/?p=179577 The man of a thousand nonsensical raps, Riff Raff, somehow managed to score a date with Katy Perry. He put on his fanciest shirt and hat and took her out for sushi, bowling and drinks.

TMZ asked how the date went and he played it cool saying he’ll probably call her after she comes back from Belgium. You know, once he finds out her new number, address and, hey, is that a fake mustache she’s wearing? Wait, why is she running away?

Riff Raff also mentioned that he did a song with Katy Perry. That is to say, for Katy Perry’s next single, expect to hear bars like, “I be spinnin’ like a Versace gerbil/Gummy Bears don’t taste terrible.”

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Drake and Rihanna are Officially Doing It http://theblemish.com/2014/03/drake-rihanna-officially/ http://theblemish.com/2014/03/drake-rihanna-officially/#comments Mon, 17 Mar 2014 18:55:58 +0000 http://theblemish.com/?p=179243 In case you didn’t get the memo, Drake and Rihanna are officially banging. Multiple sources have confirmed that the two are seriously dating. Whatever that means.

Sources say Rihanna likes Drake because he treats her better than anyone she’s been with. Not a difficult feat considering her last boyfriend took the joke, “What did the five fingers say to the face?,” a little too far.

The two have spent every night together during Drake’s tour of Europe.

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