Paparazzi caught up with Hugh Grant leaving the Waverly Inn in NY and everything seemed to be going swimmingly with the two bantering back and forth. That is until an overly helpful photog let Hugh Grant know that he should be going the other way if he wanted to catch a cab. Hugh apparently didn’t like his condescending attitude so he turned around and booted him in the crotch. (Video here)

Damn photog. Quit patronizing Hugh Grant. He knows where to get a damn cab. He was just walking that way to, um, get some fresh air. Yea, that’s it. Damn jerks. I’d kick the helpful paparazzi too if I were him. Telling me where to go and shit.

Hugh Grant was spotted at Beatrice Inn last Friday night flirting with two women at the same time. Grant was pretty hammered, but managed to entertain a blonde and brunette in tandem.

“He could barely keep his eyes open,” said our spy. But he was awake enough to entertain two women “a brunette and a blonde,” said the snitch. “He would make out with one girl, then turn to the other.” Grant’s rep confirmed he was there but told us, “There was no kissing. This is complete rubbish.”

Congratulations to Hugh Grant. He’s just earned the Man Hero of the Day Award. An award I just made up to recognize his excellence. What an inspiration. It gives me something to look forward to for when I become famous. Which will be when I release my machine that warms up bread to any degree you want. I believe I shall call it a “toaster.” Wait. Aww, damnit.

Hugh Grant has been arrested on assault charges for throwing a tub of baked beans at a photographer, but not before he kicked him.

Photographer Ian Whittaker told the Daily Star that he and Grant, 46, clashed near the home of the “Four Weddings and a Funeral” star.

Whittaker said Grant abused and kicked him on Tuesday before lobbing the beans. The paper printed photos of Grant with a plastic tub of food raised over his head.

Christ Hugh, why don’t you just wear a dress and skip around London licking a lollipop? Any real man would look that guy up and down, snap his fingers in the air and say, “Oh, no you di’nt.” If the other guy still wants to engage, then it’s on like Donkey Kong. He better get ready for the fiercest slapping and hair pulling he’s ever had the displeasure of experiencing.

Askmen.com created a list of top 99 most desirable women compiled by staff and supposedly readers. Scarlett Johansson was at number two while Beyonce took the top spot. This further proves half of the voters were blind and retarded.

Susie Castillo, former Miss USA, blasted Tara Conner for tarnishing the Miss USA image. Susie says it isn’t Miss USA’s job to be in rehab. She also criticized Britney Spears for flashing her vagina. Face it Susie. You had your chance to shine, but you blew it. Don’t try to ruin a good thing.

Hugh Grant admits he is attracted to his girlfriend because she reminds him of his mother. He loves that she bosses him around just like mommy dearest did when he was young. Draw your own conclusions from this. Mine are troubled sissy boy.

Wallace and Gromit are no more. Two future Wallace and Gromit films have been cut. Dreamworks cited losses on Flushed Away and Curse of the Were-Rabbit even though Were-Rabbit won an Oscar.

The Game pleaded not guilty to impersonating a police officer. He is accused of telling a limo driver that he was an undercover cop and made him run several red lights after appearing on David Letterman. The Game’s IQ test came back yesterday. It was 42 making him dumber than a carrot.