Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore released a few viral videos starring Sean Penn, Justin Timberlake, Bradley Cooper, Jamie Foxx, Isaiah Washington and Eva Longoria in an effort to bring attention to the problem of child sex slave trading.

This would be great if the videos made any sense. But they don’t. At all. They start out with a celebrity being a manly man to the XXXTREME and end with the slogan “Real Men Don’t Buy Girls”.

None of which makes me want to stand up against child sex trafficking. However, it does make me want to learn how to open a beer bottle with a tv remote. How did Jamie Foxx do that? Someone please tell me how to subscribe to his newsletter.

A few more spots after the jump.

Jamie Foxx was at the Belvedere Red party at Avalon last night where he and a friend got into a fight (grainy video at TMZ). The friend got Jamie in a headlock before security dragged him out in a choke hold.

Witnesses say the two were in a long conversation and engaged in “a pretty intense handshake” when the guy pulled Jamie down and put him in a headlock. No cops were called and no injuries were reported. Damien Dante Wayans, who witnessed the incident, said it was “a little altercation… between two friends.”

Let me start up my speculation machine and see what it has to say. Hm, says here that “Jamie Foxx nailed that guy’s girlfriend and he got mad.” Sure, why not.

Kirstie Alley has been going on and on about her crush on Jaime Foxx and telling the world how she wants him to be her booty call. In an interview with Oprah to air Thursday, Alley admits “I haven’t been having sex. I want a booty call with Jamie Foxx. For real. I’ve always had a bit of a thing for him.”

Because this is Oprah, overweight people’s dreams are made into reality which is how Jamie Foxx ended up in front of Kirstie via closed-circuit TV. Foxx said to Kirstie, “Kiristie… with Oprah’s permission, I”ll be your boot call.”

Desperate, horny, fat and possibly hungry is never a good combination. Jamie just signed his death warrant. Luckily Jamie didn’t appear in person and escaped being raped and devoured because he smelled like that bacon sandwich he’d eaten earlier.

My god, she tried to eat the TV! And why did Jamie look disgusted when he told Kirstie she looked fine the way she is.

[Images: Bauer-Griffin.]

Back in August, a full frontal pic of Jamie Foxx was leaked (NSFW picture here). There was a big debate over whether it was him or not. People didn’t think so, but the Daily Mail said otherwise. They claimed that since lawyers sent MediaTakeout a letter saying the picture was Foxx’s property, it was him. Still, no real clarification. Until yesterday when Jamie Foxx appeared on the Tonight Show.

Conan O’Brien asked Foxx about the leaked photo. Foxx admitted “it is me”. After being congratulated by Conan, Foxx explained that it was taken for a before and after shot for his makeup artist during filming of the Miami Vice movie. Jamie said that, “In transferring that material, I guess these people hang out on the internet and grabbed the picture and put it out on the internet.”

In essence, there are these hackers who live on the internet and when they see things floating by, they digitally grab it out of the air. Uh, okay. So, in nerd speak, through a complicated process of packet sniffing, someone specifically targeted the nude photo Jamie was sending over wireless. I think the more logical explanation is the makeup artist or their friend found it and leaked it to the web or someone hacked an email account or Jamie just wanted people to see his big penis. Seriously, you could club a baby seal with that thing.

Pete Wentz did it, Soulja Boy sort of did it, Vanessa Hudgens has been doing it, Ashley Greene just did it and now Jamie Foxx wants to get in on the action. Supposedly. MediaTakeOut posted this very NSFW photo of the alleged Foxx self-shooting himself naked in the bathroom. No doubt to use as his MySpace profile pic. He forgot to do the I’m-so-innocent lemon face though. What a failure.

No confirmations or denials yet and I’m not motivated enough to magnify around this dude’s dick to conclude whether it’s “shopped” or if “I can see the pixels.” That’s not what I spent eight years sleeping through college for.

Update: Everyone is pretty sure this photo isn’t of Jamie Foxx so you’ve just been looking at some random guy’s dong. Fucking weirdo.

Miss Info, who’s either a sassy gossip slinging mistress or a fat dude in his basement pretending to be a sassy gossip slinging mistress, claims that the recent leaked photos of both Rihanna and Cassie are not new. Rumor is that they’ve been shopped around for a year or so and that there are many more photos of not just Rihanna, Chris Brown and Cassie but of other celebs such as Jennifer Lopez, Jamie Foxx and Christina Millian.

All of those are expected to leak too. Which should be interesting. I’ve always wanted to see what Jamie Fo Jennifer Lopez looked like naked in her prime. I bet she needed a makeshift pulley system to keep her ass upright on that skinny frame.

Jamie Foxx apologized on Tuesday for comments he made on his Sirius radio show where he said Miley Cyrus needed a gum transplant, make a sex tape and catch chlamydia from a bicycle seat. He’ll be disappointed to know Miley’s dad, Billy Ray, does not accept his apology.

Billy Ray showed up on The Bonnie Hunt show and said Foxx’s quips were “hurtful. There wasn’t nothing funny about it. And, quite frankly, I think if I said those things about his daughter, he might not find it so comedic.” Then he did a little jig and went “yuck, yuck, yuck” like a yokel. Afterward, he said, “Make fun of my daughter/sister again and I will end you.” Following that, he went “yipeee kiyaaa” while shooting pistols into the air.

This scene was recreated based off of stereotypes of course because I didn’t actually watch the episode. Does that stereotype even apply? Where is Billy Ray from anyway. I probably should have researched this a little more.

Jamie Foxx was a guest on Jay Leno last night promoting his upcoming film The Soloist where he publicly apologized for telling Miley to get a gum transplant, make a sex tape with her dad, smoke crack, shoot heroin and catch chlamydia from a bicycle seat on his Sirius radio show. Jamie, calling his show the black Howard Stern, says that because he’s a comedian first and foremost, he sometimes gets carried away.

“I so apologize to [Miley], and this is sincere. I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don’t mean any of it. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far. I have a radio show. We’re really the black Howard Stern. We go at everybody. There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn’t mean it maliciously. You know I’m a comedian. You know my heart.”

Jamie was probably scared that the Miley Cyrus army was getting ready to mobilize and he didn’t want any of that. One more day and they would have kicked his ass. Being beat up by a bunch of 12-year-old girls and then tied naked to a flag pole with a Hannah Montanna themed rope wearing only your Pound Puppies boxers would have been pretty embarrassing. For Jamie, I mean. For me, that’s called a Thursday.

Jamie Foxx has a Sirius show called The Foxxhole which sounds really gay, but anyway. Over the weekend, he and his cohorts talked about Miley swearing to ruin Radiohead’s career after they refused to meet her before their performance at the Grammy’s.

To put it mildly, Foxx thought Miley was a little unreasonable and went off on her with insults like: Miley needs to “get a gum transplant,” “make a sex tape with your daddy,” do heroin like Britney spears, do crack like Lindsay Lohan and catch chlamydia from a bicycle seat.

Don’t worry though kids. Miley is going to hee-haw this off. Like water off a gummy bicycle rider’s back. That’s all she can do anyway. Miley thinks black people are scary.

Jamie Foxx claims to have sex 30 minutes a day with people that have big talking asses to keep in shape. I find that hard to believe because I have sex for an hour each day and I’m still not as in shape has him. It could be because I never do any of the work and not because I am lying.

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