What happens the day after Halloween is everybody gets around and stares at pictures of celebs in Halloween costumes. Uh, ok, that’s just what I do because I’m a lonely individual.

Alyssa Milano dressed as Tinker Bell or a fairy. I don’t really know because I’m not actually staring at the costume.

Heidi Klum took Halloween to the extreme this year. I haven’t met one person who spent as much time as her on a costume. I think she’s being eaten by a snake or is she the snake? This all seems very biblical which puts a little damper on the whole dressing slutty thing, but Seal doesn’t take heed. At least, I think that’s Seal standing next to her. He’s either a tree or a really ugly drag queen. Whatever, this is America. He can be both.

Jamie Lee Curtis. Pirate wench or wenchy pirate? You be the judge.

Jennifer Love Hewitt took the one day of the year girls are supposed to dress slutty and made it into silent film star day. Damnit.

This would have been nice 10 years ago. Now it’s kind of sad. Sad and visually wrong.

Surprise. Paris Hilton went as a slut.

Rachel Weisz put a big bow in her head and called it a costume. I call it stupid. Minnie Mouse my ass.