Jamie Pressly is now my favorite celebrity. Not because she got a second boob job. Well, yes. Actually it’s mostly because she got a second boob job.

An insider tells Us that she got them done two weeks ago and that “they look amazing!”

I would hope so. If I were a girl paying thousands of dollars for new tits, I’d expect nothing short of amazing. In fact, I’d expect them to shoot out liquid gold when I got excited. That’s how perfect I’d want them to be. No chick walks into a plastic surgeon’s office and goes, “Give me your most mediocre breasts.” It’s not a damn haircut. This applies to everyone except Tara Reid of course. Her breast augmentation looked like she got drunk one night and wanted a tattoo but the tattoo parlor was closed so she went to Tijuana for a boob job instead.

[Fame]

Much commotion has been made over this photo of Jamie Pressly supposedly peeing on the side of The Abbey at West Hollywood in broad daylight on Sunday. But you can calm down about it now you weirdos because today, Jamie laughed off the reports and claims it was just a dare for her bridal shower.

“Yes….that is me doing dare #8 at my bridal shower..Things are not always what they seem. Notice my hand in the back..its pouring a bottle of water!!! C’mon guys! Do you think i would really pee in the entry way to the Abbey in broad DAYLIGHT!!!”

They need to come up with better bridal shower dares. For example, one of them could be to have sex with me. Another could be to sucker punch Paris Hilton in the face. Yet another could be to have sex with me. Again. I think that would make for a great bridal shower dare list. Trust me. I’m good at lists. I made one the other day.

I’m not sure what this outfit is. I think it’s one of those dresses that were made to cover bikinis when you’re taking a break from the beach. Which makes absolutely no sense. If this is what it looks like, you might as well not wear that stupid thing at all. Especially when your body is as rockin’ as Jamie Pressly’s. It would be like putting a sheet over the pyramids or not letting me score the game winning shot. Why doesn’t anyone believe in me?! Put me in coach. I can do it!

Jamie Pressly has starred in such shows as, um, yea, whatever. Here she is in a bikini. Do you really need to know what shows she’s been in to whack off to her? God, you’re such a needy pervert.

The Teen Choice Awards always provides with entertainment in the form of pictures. Pictures such as those of Brandon Routh who’s t-shirt is as puzzling as his sexuality, Rachel Bilson who is tiny, Johnny Depp still being grungy, Keanu Reeves looking like a well dressed homeless man, Carmen Electra’s breasts touching Jessica Simpson’s breasts, Jessica Alba with the Fez guy and more.