A judge has ruled that Britney Spears’ conservatorship will extend for another six months to a year. This means Britney’s father, Jamie, still has control over her.

Under the ruling, Britney’s dad, Jamie Spears, will continue to receive a $16,000-a-month payment for his duties. Andrew Wallet — the co-conservator — was also granted a $174,569.10 payment for services rendered between July 2009 and November 2009.

The judge also authorized Britney’s conservatorship to kick out close to $300,000 in attorney’s fees.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The last time Britney was allowed to live her own life she had a shotgun wedding, divorced, married that douchebag K-Fed, had two kids, went to hell, got divorced, flashed her vagina, shaved off her hair, attacked paparazzi with an umbrella and started swapping outfits with girls at clubs. Since she’s been under the conservatorship, she’s done none of that. You might as well set fire to all her money and dignity if you let her loose again because that’s what’s going to happen eventually.

Yesterday, a hearing was held for the restraining order against Sam Lutfi. Lawyers argued that Lutfi is an “alleged extortionist” and said he threatened to release “unflattering information” about Jamie. Lutfi also is alleged to have given Britney a prepaid cell phone that Britney wanted. Lutfi’s sister testified that this was because Britney wanted out of her conservatorship and that she was afraid of her father who was causing her “emotional distress.”

Lawyers also argued that the supposed leaked voicemail Britney left was not Britney at all and may have been edited.

At the end, everything was ten times more confusing and Britney’s brain really hurt. And Britney really wanted to know where her lollipop was.

Britney Spears’ dad, Jamie, showed up in court on Monday to petition the judge to make the restraining order against Sam Lutfi and Adnan Ghalib permanent. Jamie alleges Lutfi slipped Britney a pre-paid cell phone in order to get around the fact that Britney’s calls are all monitored now. Jamie says this is all part of Lutfi’s plan to undermine his conservatorship. TMZ says:

The nanny heard Britney talking to Sam and Adnan on the pre-paid phone in the wee hours of the morning one day. It appears Jamie believes Sam and Adnan got her the phone in an attempt to poison her against Jamie and to torpedo the conservatorship.

Jamie also blames Lutfi for causing Britney to lose everything. He explained that when Lutfi was in control, Britney lost her career, her kids and drover her to a nervous breakdown.

“When Lutfi was in so-called control, [Britney] lost everything – her kids and career,” Jamie Spears said at the hearing. “I believe he’s a predator, I believe he’s a predator, I believe he’s very dangerous to her … and causes her a lot of anguish and disbelief. We’ve asked him to go away before, and now he’s coming back. We just want the man to go away. Just leave us alone.

This pretty much boils down to which Britney you want to see. A broken down Britney whose only career is to be a fixture in tabloids or a saner Britney who goes on tour and looks hot. Personally, I like hot Britney. Although, fat Britney allowed for a much wider range of jokes.

Now all I can make fun of her for is not having a six-pack. A four-pack, Britney? C’mon. I can get a four-pack in my sleep. While eating ice cream! Fatty.

A Los Angeles court has ruled to increase Jamie Spears’ salary to $75 an hour. Before, Britney’s dad was making $10,000 a month for playing conservator. His fee has now been upped to $16,000 a month with included backpay and a $1,200 a month stipend to maintain an office. All this to make sure Britney doesn’t shave her head, bare her snatch or rear end motorists.

Also getting paid is Britney’s brother, who I didn’t even know existed until now. He’ll earn $200,000 in services rendered prior to her conservatorship.

That’s a good business the Spears have going. Screw up their kids and reap the benefits when a judge forces them to be parents. If I had known this was possible, I wouldn’t have hid that morning after pill in my girlfriend’s sandwich and moved to another state.

As Britney Spears made her way through LAX to catch a flight to Europe yesterday, her dad Jamie did the robot.”Lookjit, I’m doing the metal man dance!” What an attention whore.

Lynne Spears talked to Life & Style about Jamie Lynn and gave her thoughts on that thing growing inside Jamie’s womb. It seems she’s not too fond of the situation.

“I’m a bit disappointed that my youngest daughter got pregnant at such an early age,” she tells Life & Style. “All I can do is turn to God for answers and just leave it in his hands.”

She also discussed Britney’s current state of mind.

I pray for Britney every day to be a better mother. She’s gone through a lot of trauma, but she seems to be coming out of it — and it’s showing in her relationship with the boys. They’re really bonding. I think 2008 will be a better year for all of us.”

If Lynne Spears had any sense at all, she would have beat these two with a stick like a normal parent. That and slip abortion pills in Jamie Lynn’s vodka and Apple Jacks breakfast. And after, thrown herself off a cliff just in case someone leaves a baby at her doorstep for her to raise.

Britney’s father, James Spears, is making $10,000 a month by controlling Britney. A court ordered Britney’s estate to pay James $2,500 a week and grant him the use of a leased car. No doubt a step up in pay from his old job as a caterer.

An attorney for James Spears, Vivian Thoreen, argued in court documents that the extension of the temporary conservatorship was necessary because Jon Eardley, an attorney who made an unsuccessful attempt to move the probate case to federal court last month, had filed additional papers in U.S. District Court. Those documents were under seal.

That’s a sweet gig. Who knew being a father could be so rewarding. I’m tempted to go make babies right this second. Or I could find the ones I threw in the ravine. Nah, making babies sounds much more fun. I get to stick my penis into a vagina.

The Commissioner has extended Jamie Spears’ conservatorship over Britney spears until the next hearing on March 10. The Commissioner also wants to see if Britney is capable of raising children.

…has also ordered that Britney undergo what’s called a 730 evaluation — a study of a family for the purposes of child custody — the results of which need to be turned in to her by the next hearing.

No longer shall needless spending on 4,000 calorie count Starbucks drinks go unchecked. No longer shall Britney’s finances suffer after being unable to pay off her ever increasing KFC and McDonald’s bill. This may be the dawn of a new Britney. A hungrier Britney.

Shortly after being released from the psyche ward, Britney picked up Adnan Ghalib and checked into the Beverly Hills Hotel. Jamie Spears managed to get the LAPD and hotel security to help talk to his daughter and finally convinced Britney to return home. Britney and Adnan snaked their way back The Summit after enjoying a meal in San Fernando Valley. Sources say Jamie and Lynne will head to court today to ask the judge for the ability to have the cops enforce their decision on who Britney can and cannot see (Adnan).

As a concerned conservator, I expect Jamie Spears to chain Britney to her house and not let her roam around. That’s what I would do to my kid if they were acting insane and refused to get help. Lord knows it’s helped my love life immensely.

Jamie Lynn, who looks 30, wants to move out of her mom’s place in Kentwood, La., and into her dad’s place in L.A. reports the Enquirer [via MSNBC]. Jamie wants to move closer to future film projects for after she gives birth. Not only that, she feels her mother’s place is stifling. However, her mother, Lynne, is afraid that Jamie will succumb to the pressures of the L.A. lifestyle and start smoking and drinking during her pregnancy.

Lynne also worries that once her little girl’s in Los Angeles, she’ll fall under another negative influence — Lynne’s older daughter Britney! “Jamie Lynn knows Britney smoked and drank during her pregnancy — and because Britney’s boys turned out fine, Jamie Lynn thinks her baby will be fine too,” the source confided.

Jesus, is there anyone in the Spears lineage that isn’t retarded? The only way Jamie Lynn is going to be the star of a feature film is if she moves to the Valley. I’m not sure how much porn pays, but I imagine it has to be a lot in order for Jamie to take care of her deformed kids. Look, just because neither of Britney’s bundles of joy have a third eye or a conjoined twin on their shoulder like Andy Garcia, doesn’t mean they turned out fine. Give them a few more years. When they start licking each other’s diapers or biting their classmates’ faces, Jamie will probably see why nourishing a fetus with mostly nicotine and alcohol might not be a good idea.

Nothing changed at the end of Britney Spears’ custody hearing today. A motion to obtain “visitation in a therapeutic setting” has been put off and Britney’s lawyers remain the same. Trope and Trope requested Jamie Spears to be removed as conservator. In turn, Britney’s conservators (Jamie Spears and Andrew Wallet) asked the court to terminate Britney’s divorce lawyers, Trope and Trope. Britney’s current lawyer is now Adam Streisand, second cousin of Barbara, who was brought in by Trope and Trope to convince the judge to get rid of Jamie Spears.

In court, Adam said Britney’s estate is worth $40 million, but that she’s facing a $17 million audit with her record label Jive Records. Britney also manages to own 15 different business. 10 of which are probably ice cream trucks.

The Commissioner doesn’t believe Britney legally retained Adam so no decisions have been made. The court-appointed lawyer, who visited Britney yesterday, ruled that Britney is mentally incapable of understanding anything. More so than normal which is bad news for Adam.

Meanwhile, Sam Lufti refused to open his door to be served with a restraining order. Not only that, Lufti has already violated it by calling Britney. Britney’s reply was simply, “I’m so glad you called. A number 2 with extra secret sauce please.”

And as this mayhem continues in L.A., I’m happily sitting here eating my non-fat yogurt which is both healthy AND delicious. Mmm, the bland taste is quite inviting.

Jamie Spears, was granted temporary legal control of his daughter, Britney, until Monday and with it, full control over her medical treatment, the power to decide who visits her, control over her finances, the ability to issue restraining orders on her behalf and the power to keep her in California.

In addition, a 21-day restraining order has been issued against Britney’s BFF Sam Lufti. A phone interview with Sam conducted by Us Magazine was posted detailing how crazy, superficial and money hungry he believes the Spears family to be.

“It’s funny because that’s what the doctors say when they meet the family,” he added. “They always come back and say, ‘You know, [her problems] are inherited, right?’

“It’s just so sad. It’s shared equally from both of her parents.”

He told Us the singer doesn’t “trust anything that her family says? Not a g—-n thing.”

He said they have tried to stage multiple interventions and that Thursday’s move was “at least their fourth” attempt.

When the singer heard Lynne had arrived Sunday night, Lutfi said Britney asked him, ‘Is my mom really here?’ I said, ‘Yeah, she’s here.’ And she’s like, ‘Oh great, you know they’re up to something.’

“They show up to the house like hillbillies, texting me,” Lutfi continued. “I find out that they’re outside, and they go, ‘You better let me in the gate, you ass.’ So I go, to Britney, ‘Your parents are here, let them come in and yell at you and scream at you. If anything else goes on, I’ll throw you in my car and take you out of here.’ She said, ‘OK, fine, baby.’

“I let them in. Instead of going to see how Britney is, they come bouncing through the doors. They scream at me, ‘Why the f—k are you talking to Barbara Walters?’ I swear to God that’s all they were saying.

“The dad pushed me in the chest and said, ‘Get the f—k out of here.’

“The dad gave up and then the mom tried to talk to her, but Lynne was like, ‘I gotta get my beauty sleep, I gotta get my nails done, I gotta do my hair.’ It was just so sick. We made the mom stay.”

Lutfi said the singer suffers from “mixed state bipolar” and has had it for “roughly five years.” (A person suffering from “mixed state bipolar” experiences symptoms of mania and depression at the same time.)

He said he has told the singer, “‘Britney, do you see why people think you are crazy? Look at your mother and look at your father.’”

Everybody that’s a part of this debacle is crazy. They need a neutral third party. Someone who isn’t out for personal gain and cares about people. Someone like Mr. Ed. That horse gives very sage advice. But, if Mr. Ed is merely a fictional animal concocted by clever television writers (damn you TV), then I suggest they get the next closest thing. Sarah Jessica Parker.