Amanda De Cadenet (who?) has a new talk show called The Conversation (god, that’s a terrible name) and she asked Gwyneth Paltrow, Zoe Saldana, Jane Fonda and Sarah Silverman what their favorite sex positions were.

Gwyneth Paltrow gave the most boring ansewr. She didn’t even throw out a position. “I’m down with all of them,” she said initially shocked by the question. Whatever. I bet she’s the most boring: Missionary. With the lights off. While laying there like a dead hooker in complete silence.

Meanwhile, Sarah Silverman said she enjoys “a good sound missionary-ing… and I like to be manhandled.” I’ll just take that to mean she likes a good choking every now and then.

Fonda said, “While I am quite flexible and I can kneel, it’s not quite as comfortable for me as it used to be before I had a fake knee… (I like to be) either lying down or sitting up on a couch with him coming on to me, no pun intended.” Naturally, Fonda wins the award for describing what sex with a grandma would be like.

Finally, Zoe Saldana offered the best answer. ”I like missionary and I like being on my knees too. And I love being on top… I love doggy-style or standing up.” Amanda De Cadenet probably got a lady boner when she heard that. How could she not? I’m only reading this and I still sat here comatose for a few minutes.

Susan Sarandon, 64, tells V magazine in their special age issue that “I wouldn’t want to be 20 now. I know so much more, and I’m much more comfortable in my skin, saggy as it is.” Adding, “If you’re upset with how you look at 25, life’s going to be tough.”

Meanwhile, Jane Fonda, 72, says, “There’s fabulous things about being older. The older people get, the less scared they are. All the studies show you’re not as anxious. People tend to have less hostility, they have less negative emotions. They tend to see things from both sides. Very few things stress me out.”

Whatever. They should call this issue: “Old People Say the Darndest Things.” When I’m 80, my favorite hobby will be to stare out the window waiting for death prepared to shoo it away with my cane. “Get away from me, death,” I’ll shout, violently swinging my cane at him as he throws a bunch of mail at me and walks away.

This morning, while being interviewed on the nationally televised The Today Show with Meredith Vierira to promote the V-Word, Jane Fonda slipped in the word “cunt” which was not censored by the higher-ups. Possibly because it was more in reference to the Vagina Monologues and less because she called her friend sitting next to her a grade A super cunt which may or may not be true. I don’t know. I barely know who Jane Fonda is. I think she used to be famous for her nipples. Although how she mixed up vagina and cunt is beyond me.

ET hired Dina Lohan to troll the red carpet so they could get an exclusive with Lindsay Lohan. Dina thought she was the real deal and wandered over to Jane Fonda, who has in the past criticized the Lohans, for a quick interview. It didn’t go over so well. Page Six reports,

Lindsay’s co-star Jane Fonda was visibly disturbed when Dina asked her, “So, what was it like working with my daughter?” One witness said, “That was a stupid thing to do. Jane publicly criticized Lindsay’s behavior last year.” Fonda told “Access Hollywood” during filming: “Lindsay’s so young and she’s so alone out there in the world in terms of structure and, you know, people to nurture her.” After Dina’s first question to Fonda fell flat, Dina pressed on and asked, “It’s so hard for young stars today with the paparazzi and press – do you have any advice for my daughter?” Fonda – who the witness said seemed “taken aback and appalled not just by Dina being on the carpet but by the questions” – snapped, “If you screw it up now, you don’t get another chance!” and turned on her heel and walked off. A rep for Fonda said, “We kept all interviews short because the press line was long.”

Dina Lohan has the grace of an elephant riding a unicycle. Her qualifications to be on the red carpet include nothing. The closest she’s come to being a real celebrity is doing lines of coke off the bathroom floor at Hyde. Other than that, she’s just a normal mom. Normal moms try to convince their daughters to have a threesome with some guy they met at the bar, right? I think I read that in a parenting magazine.