Vice had a theory. A theory that Jay-Z, having already cornered the male rap market, had set out to dominate the female one as well. The tool he’s using to do this with? Nicki Minaj.

To prove this theory, Vice slowed down Nicki’s Super Bass and proved without a shadow of a doubt, that Nicki Minaj is actually a sped up Jay-Z. Need to see for yourself? Watch below.

Jay-Z is a man of many talents. Clubs, alcohol, clothing and male and female rap markets all cornered. No wonder Beyonce told him to put a baby in her. Even I’d tell Jay-Z to put a baby in me now and I don’t even have a uterus.

Jay-Z’s daughter Blue Ivy was born just a week ago and she’s already turned Jay-Z into a big softy. In a new poem dedicated to his daughter, Jay-Z vows never to use the word “bitch” again.

“Before I got in the game, made a change, and got rich/I didn’t think hard about using the word bitch/I rapped, I flipped it, I sold it, I lived it/Now with my daughter in this world I curse those that give it/No man will degrade her, or call her name/I’m so focused on your future, the degradation has passed/I wish you wealth, health and insight/Forever young you may pass/Blue Ivy Carter, my angel.” NME

Bitch, please. Will Smith laughs at this promise. He’s been doing this for years. In fact, I don’t think that guy has sworn since 1998. Where’s his NME post?

Blue Ivy Carter isn’t even two weeks old yet and Beyonce and Jay-Z are already spoiling her rotten. They’ve already spent over $1.5 million in toys and equipment for the kid. What have they bought to ensure every other kid in the world will hate her with a passion?

- A $15,000 Swarovski-studded high chair by Carla Monchen
- A Fantasy ‘posh tots’ coach carriage crib for $22,000
- A $600,000 solid gold handmade Ginza Tanaka rocking horse
- A $30,000 magical windmill playhouse and mini-Bugatti
- $350,000 ensuring the nurseries in their three homes are identical
- A wardrobe of one-off designer clothes that the kid will outgrow in a year

This kid is going to be such an entitled princess but loved by all. At school, she’ll be all like, “Hey, guys. Let’s take a ride in my mini-Bugatti to my solid gold rocking horse located in my magical windmill house.” Meanwhile, little Timmy listening within earshot, rocking on his homemade rocking horse, will be all like, “Aww, f**k you!”

In honor of Blue Ivy’s birth, Jay-Z dropped a new single titled “Glory” where he reveals that before there was Blue Ivy, there was a miscarriage. Jay-Z rapped, “Last time the miscarriage was so tragic/We was afraid you’d disappear/But nah baby you magic.”

The track, produced by Pharrell, also features Blue Ivy crying at the end. Most likely after seeing Jay-Z for the first time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=UWVtqESRT2Y

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2011 took place on Wednesday in New York. Nicki Minaj, Kanye West and Jay-Z performed while models such as Adriana Lima, Miranda Kerr and Alessandra Ambrosio walked the runway modeling outfits you’ll never see a normal person wear. We in the business call that “fashion.” All the models looked pretty hot. As they should considering all the dieting they do leading up to this day. But, jesus, what’s with blurry pictures. Doesn’t anyone know how to focus a camera? You click the shutter button halfway and then press it down after it focuses. It’s not hard, people. It’s not like trying to find the clitoris. I mean, can someone draw me a map or something?

Congratulations, Jay-Z, you’re going to be a father. Un-congratulations, Beyonce, I forgot to add “again” to that sentence.

According to Star, Jay-Z had a secret son with Trinidadian model Shanelle Scott nine years ago. Shanelle’s ex-boyfriend, Malik Sayeed, thought the kid was his at first. That is until after she popped out a baby camel. That’s when DNA tests supposedly proved the kid is Jay-Z’s.

“Malik threw [Shenelle] a baby shower and bought all this stuff to prepare for the arrival,” the source said. “However, after the baby was born, friends and family told him he needed to get a DNA test.

“Everyone knew she was sleeping around and sleeping with Jay,” the source said. “There was a good chance it was his.” — Radar

Jay-Z reportedly paid Shanelle $1 million to keep her mouth shut. Shanelle used the money to buy a house in Trinidad and now lives off of Jay-Z’s child support checks. How does Beyonce feel about this?

A source told Star that while Beyonce was initially livid about the secret son, she’s stood by her husband. The boy closely resembles the 99 Problems singer, who’s reportedly paying Shenelle child support.

Beyonce was probably angrier about having to share publicity with this kid than the fact Jay-Z had a bastard son. Beyonce’s fetus probably felt the same way and snapped its fingers in its amniotic fluid and gurgled “oh, no you di’nt,” when it heard the news.

According to MediaTakeOut, Beyonce enhanced her baby bump by wearing a prosthetic belly at the MTV Video Music Awards. An insider tells MTO that while Beyonce is pregnant, she’s not in her second trimester and is little more than 8 weeks pregnant. “She wanted the announcement to be dramatic, so she made sure she had a bump.”

The picture of Beyonce on MTO shows her in Venice with Jay-Z for her 30th birthday over the weekend. The bump in that picture does seem a little less striking.

I already mentioned after the VMAs how Beyonce definitely wanted to drive home the fact she was pregnant. The over-the-top way she announced the happy news made me want to give her a virtual kick in the belly. Not to cause a virtual abortion or anything, but just to virtually give the baby a “WTF was that?!” moment.

To add a different perspective, here’s a pregnant Beyonce in a bikini.

According to MediaTakeOut, Rihanna plans on dropping a bombshell. She’s firing Jay-Z and RocNation as managers and launching a multi-million dollar lawsuit against her official RocNation manager, Jay Brown’s sister.

Rihanna considered the move last April when she found “financial irregularities.” Rihanna also didn’t like that RocNation began unofficially managing Beyonce causing a conflict of interest. She felt Beyonce would always be the first to be considered for any endorsement deals. She also believed RocNation were constantly using her as a jumping off point for new artists. After a private chat with Jay-Z in April, Rihanna promised to stay with his management.

However, after Beyonce announced her pregnancy, Rihanna has decided to go ahead with the split and file a multi-million dollar lawsuit. The lawsuit pertains to a house her manager sold her which she claims was a leaky piece of crap.

Wow. The drama in hip-hop has been really toned down. Before, you’d have East vs West gun fights and Suge Knight dangling Vanilla Ice off a balcony by his ankles. Now we have lawsuits. Apparently street cred is now determined by how many lawyers you have on retainer.

Jay-Z dropped $250,000 and a $50,000 tip at a Miami club to celebrate the release of his and Kanye West’s new album, Watch the Throne. This included multiple bottles of Ace of Spades and a 15-liter bottle that cost $100,000.

“Jay knew that Mark Cuban spent over $100,000 after the Mavs won the championship a few months ago, and he wasn’t about to be upstaged,” a source close to Jay-Z told RadarOnline.com.

Yikes. The only thing I drop at the club is my dignity. If you’re ever at a club with me, you’ll be able to find me at the bar haggling with the bartender to pour just a little bit more well rum in my Coke. C’mon, man. Don’t be stingy. That’s if I don’t come in with my own flask, I mean.

Last minute shopping sucks. The malls are crowded, there’s no parking and everyone is in a rush to find one thing that doesn’t suck.

If you’re a rich, famous rapper, however, last minute shopping is pretty much like every other day of the year. From Page Six,

“Jay was in a private room of Hermes doing last-minute shopping. He had a guard standing watch outside. He spent $350,000 on Birkin bags, among other things.” The buying binge took so long, Jay-Z missed his scheduled lunch at Nello, prompting the restaurateur to deliver his food to the store. Jay-Z has plenty to spend — he’s getting $1 million to perform at the opening of the Cosmopolitan hotel and casino in Vegas on New Year’s Eve. His rep declined to comment.

Then Beyonce blew him. The end.

For Jay-Z’s 41st birthday, Beyonce Knowles gave him a $2 million Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport. According to Forbes, Beyonce made $87 million this year so this is like a regular person spending $5,000.

The Veyron Grand Sport is powered by a 16.4-liter engine that produces 1,000 horsepower with a top speed of 253 mph and a 0-60 mph time of just 2.7 seconds. And the price for all that speed and power: a cool $2 million.

Oh, yea? Well… I just put a new exhaust on my cardboard box with wheels. Which means instead of a normal “vroom vroom” sound, I lower my voice and make a deeper “vroom vroom” sound. My ride also gets another extra 15 horsepower after I give the bum pulling my box two Four Lokos to drink. Who’s the fancy one now?!

A source gives Us Weekly shocking news. That Beyonce is pregnant in her first trimester. That’s not the shocking news though. The shocking news is Beyonce let Jay-Z have sex with her.

“B was shocked. She loves kids, but she wasn’t ready to be a mother just yet,” says a source of the singer, who married rapper Jay-Z in 2008. “She really wanted to get her album done and tour the world again.”

Beyonce has looked a little doughy lately but I thought that was more out of laziness from being obnoxiously popular than anything else. What I just said is going to be real embarrassing if her reps deny the pregnancy because then she’ll just be a little piggy with no excuse.

Willow Smith, 9, daughter of Will Smith, was just signed to a record deal by Jay-Z. Her debut single, “Whip My Hair,” was released only a few days ago. She sounds like a mini-Rihanna.

In a news release, Roc Nation said that Willow Smith, who is the sister of the “Karate Kid” actor Jaden Smith and – oh, yes – the daughter of the superstars Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, will shoot her debut video in Los Angeles later this month. Jay-Z, the Roc Nation founder and president, said in a statement, “It’s rare to find an artist with such innate talent and creativity at such a young age. Willow is about to embark on an incredible journey and we look forward to joining her as she grows in all aspects of her career.”

This totally beats the most exciting thing that happened to me when I was 9 when I found a dollar bill on the ground and bought a Popsicle with it. What a show-off.