Muareen Dowd wrote an article for The New York Times Magazine remembering the late agent Sue Mengers who managed celebs like Ali MacGraw and Barbara Streisand. Mengers later became known for her parties where she befriended younger stars like Jon Hamm and Jennifer Aniston.

Anyway, Dowd attended a few of these events and wrote about one time when Mengers told Jennifer Aniston, who had already split with Brad Pitt, to ask for Pitt’s jizz.

“After Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie, Mengers told me that she advised her beloved Jen to ask Brad for some of his sperm.” Vulture

No word on whether or not Jenn took that advice or if she told Mengers that that wouldn’t be necessary. Because she had already filled a few bottles up with Brad’s spunk just in case. That Jennifer Aniston. Always one step ahead.

Jennifer Aniston talked to InStyle about her beauty regimen and finally admits to using injections on her face. She doesn’t say outright but rather implies it.

She quickly dispels any rumors of cosmetic enhancements, however. “People think that I do a lot of injections, but I don’t,” she states. “I’m not saying that I haven’t tried it … but I see how it’s a slippery slope.” Still, she plans to stay away for the time being. “All that cosmetic stuff looks ridiculous on me,” she shares. PEOPLE

This explains why I saw Jennifer Aniston walking out of the bathroom that one time with 12 needles sticking out of her face and shouting, “Am I doing it right?!”

Earlier, The Hollywood Reporter claimed Jennifer Aniston bought a $9 million apartment in New York, her third one. Meanwhile other publications were claiming she was pregnant. Neither of these rumors are true, it seems.

She refuted both at Monday’s dinner at MoMA by denying the apartment rumor while sipping on a vodka tonic.

Aniston herself laughed off the real estate rumor at Monday’s dinner at MoMA for the Glamour Women of the Year Awards, where she was an honoree.

Sipping a vodka tonic at the bar, the star received congrats about her “new” Gramercy home from pals. Giggling, she exclaimed, “no!” and explained that she checked out the home (where the monthly maintenance was a reported $11,000!) but opted to not to buy. Us Weekly

On the flip side, ahhh, Jennifer Aniston is lying about her apartment buying and is drowning her baby in vodka. Yep, just call me Star Magazine.

Jennifer Aniston hit up the Elle 18th Annual Women in Hollywood Tribute in LA on Monday wearing this Kaufmanfranco dress with plunging neckline. It pains me to say but she didn’t look bad. Did I just compliment Jennifer Aniston?  Does this mean an angel just got their wings?

Jennifer Aniston tells Elle about one time on set when she stood up for a script supervisor by throwing a chair at the director.

“I threw a chair at a director. It wasn’t my proudest moment,” she tells the magazine “He was treating a script supervisor horribly… When the director walked in, I threw a chair at him. I missed, of course. I was like, ‘You can’t speak to people like that.’ I can’t tolerate it.”

She didn’t give any indication as to who the director was, and given her long career, it’s hard to make a guess. Though no one would be too upset if it was Andy Tennant, her director on “The Bounty Hunter.” HuffPo

Unlike what your mom and society has taught you, violence is the answer. If you don’t like how your boss treats one of your peers, throw a chair at him. Make sure it’s heavy too to really drive the point across. It worked for Jennifer Aniston, why wouldn’t it for you? Survival of the fittest chair-dodgers my dad used to always say.

Jennifer Aniston was asked about Brad Pitt’s “Jennifer Aniston is boring” remarks that he said in his Parade magazine interview. Aniston responded, “Oh, lord, it’s not even worth discussing on a night like this.”

To clarify, the question came up during the premiere of her movie Five, which includes a collection of short films about the impact of breast cancer. Anyway, she probably wouldn’t have  commented on any other night either. What she will do though is pose with boyfriend Justin Theroux in a Terry Richardson shoot.

Wow. Are you sure this is Terry Richardson? Strange. You wouldn’t know it by looking at these. It’s not shot like an American Apparel ad and I’m guessing that he never asked if he could cum on Jennifer Aniston’s breasts at any point during the shoot. What’s wrong? Is he coming down with something?

On September 15, Brad Pitt told Parade magazine what everyone already knew. That Jennifer Aniston was boring and that “he wasn’t living an interesting life” before Jolie and was “trying to pretend my marriage was something that it wasn’t.” He since issued a statement saying his words were misinterpreted but only because Aniston was pissed and her people pressured him into doing so. The truth does indeed hurt.

And, yes, his 42-year-old ex-wife got wind of the catty comment. “She was annoyed,” a pal close to the Horrible Bosses actress tells the new Us Weekly, out now. “She thought it was rude and inappropriate.”

Team Aniston — her agent and publicists — “went ballistic,” a Pitt insider reveals, and angrily reached out to Pitt’s camp.

“They got his team involved and Brad was read the riot act — the only way you can read the riot act to Brad Pitt,” the source says.

Within 24 hours, Pitt had surprisingly released a statement lamenting that his words were misinterpreted, and that his former love “is an incredibly giving, loving and hilarious woman.”

Still, the Pitt source says, “no one believes his words were taken out of context — he said what he said. I do hear that he’s remorseful.” — Us

The source adds that “We think he’s jealous she’s in love.” And why wouldn’t he be? Sure, he’s got Angelina Jolie, six kids, millions of dollars and a highly successful film career but Aniston has a boyfriend who dresses like Ghost Rider, multiple failed relationships, a ticking biological clock and a dull personality. If I were Brad, I’d be jealous too if she was in love with someone other than me. Clearly, she’d have everything while I’d have nothing.

Because her biological clock is going off like the bells at Notre Dame, Jennifer Aniston is intent on fast tracking the progression from marriage to babies with Justin Theroux. Justin is reportedly on board the baby train as well.

“They have talked at length about getting married and starting a family,” an insider close to the pair tells the new Us Weekly, out Wednesday. “She is anxious for the next phase of her life and feels like this is the time.”

To prepare her body, Aniston has hired a private chef, been doing 45 minutes of yoga daily and “detoxifying.” Soon enough she’ll be as fertile as OctoMom’s in vitro tubes. Pals of Jen say she “hasn’t felt this way about anyone since Brad.” Which goes to show. There’s never going to be one interview about Jen’s future that won’t mention Brad Pitt. I can see the Us Weekly article now. “Haha, remember that time when Brad Pitt left you for the world’s most beautiful woman and became Hollywood’s most talked about couple? Ya… good times. Anyway, congrats on the baby!”

It’s only been two months since Jennifer Aniston stole Justin Theroux away from his live-in girlfriend but a source says they’re already pre-engaged and that Jennifer already bought bridesmaid dresses for all her cats. That last part I made up but I assume it’s nevertheless true.

“They’re kind of pre-engaged,” a friend of Jen’s tells the magazine. “We keep saying, ‘whats with the rings? It’s only been a few weeks!’ But she says it feels right.”

Jen was spotted wearing a gold ring with her name on it in June and shortly after Justin was sporting the exact same one! Then at the Horrible Bosses premiere, Jen wore a huge diamond ring — she hadn’t worn a ring on her left hand since her divorce from Brad Pitt in 2005!

“He has always been somewhat cynical and pessimistic,” the source adds. “But he has a happy, upbeat vibe now, like he’s a better version of himself … Justin shaved his scruffy beard; he’s gone from looking like a dirty biker to a leading man. The motorcycle boots have been replaced by Gucci shoes. Jen has been spoiling him with facials and pedicures.”

This is good. In the past when she’s dated for more than two months, guys have run away. Now she has the sense to lock them down before they find her Brad Pitt hair doll and Angelina Jolie voodoo doll.

An insider tells Us Weekly that Jennifer Aniston won’t be subjecting us to any more of her romcoms for a while because she’s taking a year off from work. They say, “Jen’s taking a year off from work to enjoy herself.”

Another source confirms the report saying that after the release of Horrible Bosses and Wanderlust, the only thing on her plate is The Goree Girls, an old project from her production company. Oh and about The Goree Girls. Guess who’s touching up the script? Her new boyfriend. A source tells Us, “She’s impressed by his ability to find humor in dry material.”

*Looks around, hides one side of mouth from Jennifer Aniston, looks at random person standing beside him, points to Aniston, then says in a strained whisper: “I think she’s talking about herself.”*

Jennifer Aniston, who’s dating Justin Theroux, showed up to The Daily Show with Jon Stewart in New York City wearing what looked like a shiny ring on her engagement finger.

If you didn’t know, Jenn stole Justin from his girlfriend after the two met on set much like what happened with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Maybe this is what needed to happen to break the spinster curse.

Or maybe not. According to Jezebel, the ring Jennifer is wearing could be just the gold “Jennifer” ring she’s been known to wear on her engagement finger.

Whew. That was close. One of the signs of the Apocolypse is Jennifer Aniston getting a marriage proposal. Or at least that’s what it says in the Bible.

Most girls usually get a tattoo to embrace rebelliousness. Kids like Miley get “Just Breath” or something like that. Jennifer Aniston, on the other hand, just gets her dog’s name, Norman, tattooed on her foot. Ugh. Leave it to Jennifer Aniston to make even tattoos boring. If she ever got a tramp stamp, it’d be so dull that that tattoo artist would just draw, “Zzzzz” across her back instead.

Jennifer Aniston stole Justin Theroux from his live-in girlfriend of 14-years, Heidi Bivens, much like Angelina Jolie did to her with Brad Pitt. In a sort of “if you can’t beat them, join them” mentality, Aniston and Theroux are now living together at her place in LA. An insider tells Us that she’s even introducing Justin as her boyfriend. Now she’s on step closer to adopting a kid from each continent.

Another insider astutely notes that Bivens is “humiliated”. Of course she’s humiliated, Jennifer Aniston stole her boyfriend. That’s like a retarded kid beating you in a pick-up game.