Jennifer Aniston has long since moved on from Brad Pitt but both the media and herself won’t let Jennifer Aniston forget. Now that Brad and Angelina Jolie are engaged, people are asking how Jennifer feels more than ever. “Are you sad? Baby want to cry?,” they probably all want to know.

“She hates it being brought up because she doesn’t really care,” says a pal of the actress, who was married to Pitt, 48, from 2000 to 2005; Pitt infamously fell in love with his Mr. and Mrs. Smith costar Jolie, 36, while he was still married to her. (After seven years together, Pitt proposed to Jolie, with all six kids present, earlier this spring with a $500,000 diamond engagement ring he helped design with longtime jeweler Robert Procop; the family of eight recently celebrated the nuptial news with a trip to the Galapagos Islands.

“She feels Angelina can have him,” the Aniston source continues. “She just wants to move on.” Us Weekly

Sorry, no can do, Jennifer Aniston. She’ll be asked this question until the end of time. It’s become one of those long running Hollywood jokes. When Jennifer finally has her first kid, the media will ask her what it’s like having one kid after Brad and Angie already had 14. When Angelina somehow gets nominated for an Oscar, the media will ask Jennifer what it’s like still stuck doing romcoms. Even when she dies, the media will ask her kids what it’s like for their mother to have a smaller headstone than Angelina. You’ll probably be able to hear her groan from heaven.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie announced their engagement at nearly the same time that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are planning to marry. Coincidence? Maybe. Or maybe Angelina just likes annoying the hell out of her.

Whatever the case, sources say Jennifer has scouted the Elounda Beach Hotel in Crete for a July wedding. One hotel hot shot says Jennifer hasn’t yet settled on that particular hotel saying “she has connections on the other side of the island as well.”

In unrelated news, Angelina Jolie just told Brad she’d love to marry in Crete and that she thinks it’s so beautiful there in July.

The ticking of Jennifer Aniston’s biological clock must have been as loud as Edgar Allen Poe’s tell-tale heart or as loud as that alarm clock the crocodile swallowed in Peter Pan. Whichever you prefer. Anyway, Jennifer has been pressing snooze on her clock for so long that it’s given up ringing completely. Now she says she doesn’t need no stinkin’ baby to make her happy.

During an interview on CBS This Morning Sunday, the Wanderlust actress complained that it’s “very narrow-minded” for people to assume she’s unhappy without a baby to nurture. “That doesn’t measure the level of my happiness or my success in my life, in my achievements, in any of that.”

The actress, who’s currently dating Justin Theroux, 40, added that she doesn’t give “a crap what other people think” and she’s happier “than I’ve ever been.”

At 43 years old, “I feel great,” Aniston told host Gayle King. “I feel like I’m 30. I honestly didn’t start to feel my best until was in my 30s. Physically, I started eating better and taking better care of my body, in terms of being physical and exercise.” Us Magazine

And then she went to the dressing room to cry and punch her Brad Pitt voodoo doll as she watched another one of her eggs wilt into nothingness.

When Jennifer Aniston isn’t being so boring or talking about how she’s totally over Brad Pitt, she’s pulling topless scenes from movies. To be fair, it was out of consideration for Wanderlust co-star and boyfriend Justin Theroux. God, that guy is such a cockblocker.

The former “Friends” star demanded that the topless scene from the Judd Apatow-produced film, which hits theaters Feb. 24, be replaced with a tamer version, an individual with knowledge of the movie told TheWrap.

A spokeswoman for Universal, which is releasing the movie, said: “The scene was shot a bunch of different ways, and we have the best possible version.”

Aniston’s publicist, Stephen Huvane, denies that the scene was altered at the actress’ behest. “The scene is how it was always supposed to be,” Huvane told TheWrap. The Wrap

Publicist double speak is always fun to read. You can’t outright call them a liar because the way they put those words together opens the whole thing up to interpretation. Apparently it takes a lot of talent to be that obtuse.

The scene in question features Aniston going topless in front of TV news cameras. In the version that will be included in the film, Aniston will be seen topless from behind, with her bare breasts shown pixelated on TV screens, as they would appear on a TV news broadcast.

But the movie insider who spoke to TheWrap said that when the film was edited with the frontal nudity in it, Aniston pleaded for an alternate version due to her blossoming relationship with Theroux, whom she met on the set of the film. (The two are now cohabitating.)

The 43-year-old actress, it seems, decided it just wouldn’t be right to share her naked breasts with anyone except her new beau.

Wait, so was it Aniston or Theroux who’s the cockblocker. It sounds more like a combined effort. That is to say, any time you go out with these two, never bring a condom like Zac Efron because it’s already predetermined you’re going home the same way you came. Sad and lonely.

In related news, here’s Jennifer Aniston being honored for the star she bought herself on the Walk of Fame. She must be so proud.

This week we have:

• Amber Heard in Max
• Avril Lavigne in FHM Australia
• Cara Delevigne in Jalouse
• Chrissy Teigen in Dineila
• Gisele Bundchen in lingerie
• Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd in GQ
• Jessica Hart for Me in My Place
• Kate Upton in Esquire
• Kim Kardashian in Allure
• Kirsten Dunst in Vogue Italia
• Lake Bell in Esquire UK
• Megan Fox in Armani
• Rosie Huntington-Whitely in VS
• Shailene Woodley in VS
• Zooey Deschanel in Company

Say what you will about Jennifer Aniston, but at least she doesn’t show up to her own premiere dressed like a flamenco dancer. Aniston chose to look like a pinwheel instead. She looks like an optical illusion. Which is about the nicest thing I’ve ever said about her.

Muareen Dowd wrote an article for The New York Times Magazine remembering the late agent Sue Mengers who managed celebs like Ali MacGraw and Barbara Streisand. Mengers later became known for her parties where she befriended younger stars like Jon Hamm and Jennifer Aniston.

Anyway, Dowd attended a few of these events and wrote about one time when Mengers told Jennifer Aniston, who had already split with Brad Pitt, to ask for Pitt’s jizz.

“After Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie, Mengers told me that she advised her beloved Jen to ask Brad for some of his sperm.” Vulture

No word on whether or not Jenn took that advice or if she told Mengers that that wouldn’t be necessary. Because she had already filled a few bottles up with Brad’s spunk just in case. That Jennifer Aniston. Always one step ahead.

Jennifer Aniston talked to InStyle about her beauty regimen and finally admits to using injections on her face. She doesn’t say outright but rather implies it.

She quickly dispels any rumors of cosmetic enhancements, however. “People think that I do a lot of injections, but I don’t,” she states. “I’m not saying that I haven’t tried it … but I see how it’s a slippery slope.” Still, she plans to stay away for the time being. “All that cosmetic stuff looks ridiculous on me,” she shares. PEOPLE

This explains why I saw Jennifer Aniston walking out of the bathroom that one time with 12 needles sticking out of her face and shouting, “Am I doing it right?!”

Earlier, The Hollywood Reporter claimed Jennifer Aniston bought a $9 million apartment in New York, her third one. Meanwhile other publications were claiming she was pregnant. Neither of these rumors are true, it seems.

She refuted both at Monday’s dinner at MoMA by denying the apartment rumor while sipping on a vodka tonic.

Aniston herself laughed off the real estate rumor at Monday’s dinner at MoMA for the Glamour Women of the Year Awards, where she was an honoree.

Sipping a vodka tonic at the bar, the star received congrats about her “new” Gramercy home from pals. Giggling, she exclaimed, “no!” and explained that she checked out the home (where the monthly maintenance was a reported $11,000!) but opted to not to buy. Us Weekly

On the flip side, ahhh, Jennifer Aniston is lying about her apartment buying and is drowning her baby in vodka. Yep, just call me Star Magazine.

Jennifer Aniston hit up the Elle 18th Annual Women in Hollywood Tribute in LA on Monday wearing this Kaufmanfranco dress with plunging neckline. It pains me to say but she didn’t look bad. Did I just compliment Jennifer Aniston?  Does this mean an angel just got their wings?

Jennifer Aniston tells Elle about one time on set when she stood up for a script supervisor by throwing a chair at the director.

“I threw a chair at a director. It wasn’t my proudest moment,” she tells the magazine “He was treating a script supervisor horribly… When the director walked in, I threw a chair at him. I missed, of course. I was like, ‘You can’t speak to people like that.’ I can’t tolerate it.”

She didn’t give any indication as to who the director was, and given her long career, it’s hard to make a guess. Though no one would be too upset if it was Andy Tennant, her director on “The Bounty Hunter.” HuffPo

Unlike what your mom and society has taught you, violence is the answer. If you don’t like how your boss treats one of your peers, throw a chair at him. Make sure it’s heavy too to really drive the point across. It worked for Jennifer Aniston, why wouldn’t it for you? Survival of the fittest chair-dodgers my dad used to always say.

Jennifer Aniston was asked about Brad Pitt’s “Jennifer Aniston is boring” remarks that he said in his Parade magazine interview. Aniston responded, “Oh, lord, it’s not even worth discussing on a night like this.”

To clarify, the question came up during the premiere of her movie Five, which includes a collection of short films about the impact of breast cancer. Anyway, she probably wouldn’t have  commented on any other night either. What she will do though is pose with boyfriend Justin Theroux in a Terry Richardson shoot.

Wow. Are you sure this is Terry Richardson? Strange. You wouldn’t know it by looking at these. It’s not shot like an American Apparel ad and I’m guessing that he never asked if he could cum on Jennifer Aniston’s breasts at any point during the shoot. What’s wrong? Is he coming down with something?

On September 15, Brad Pitt told Parade magazine what everyone already knew. That Jennifer Aniston was boring and that “he wasn’t living an interesting life” before Jolie and was “trying to pretend my marriage was something that it wasn’t.” He since issued a statement saying his words were misinterpreted but only because Aniston was pissed and her people pressured him into doing so. The truth does indeed hurt.

And, yes, his 42-year-old ex-wife got wind of the catty comment. “She was annoyed,” a pal close to the Horrible Bosses actress tells the new Us Weekly, out now. “She thought it was rude and inappropriate.”

Team Aniston — her agent and publicists — “went ballistic,” a Pitt insider reveals, and angrily reached out to Pitt’s camp.

“They got his team involved and Brad was read the riot act — the only way you can read the riot act to Brad Pitt,” the source says.

Within 24 hours, Pitt had surprisingly released a statement lamenting that his words were misinterpreted, and that his former love “is an incredibly giving, loving and hilarious woman.”

Still, the Pitt source says, “no one believes his words were taken out of context — he said what he said. I do hear that he’s remorseful.” — Us

The source adds that “We think he’s jealous she’s in love.” And why wouldn’t he be? Sure, he’s got Angelina Jolie, six kids, millions of dollars and a highly successful film career but Aniston has a boyfriend who dresses like Ghost Rider, multiple failed relationships, a ticking biological clock and a dull personality. If I were Brad, I’d be jealous too if she was in love with someone other than me. Clearly, she’d have everything while I’d have nothing.