I kept forgetting Jennfer Garner was pregnant again but it doesn’t matter anymore because she just gave birth. A source tells Us that Jennifer popped out her third kid, a baby boy (as opposed to an adult boy), in Santa Monica. As for his name, don’t look to Jennifer’s daughters for any suggestions. They’re pretty much useless.

“[They suggested] Donald Duck, Minnie Mouse Affleck,” Garner joked. “And then they moved on…[to] Peter Pan, Captain Hook, Smee.” Us Weekly

Luckily, those kids weren’t big fans of Lady and the Tramp. But, kids, amirite? Sometimes you just want to yell at them, “That’s stupid! Stop being so stupid!”

Look at the size of that thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if that baby burst through her stomach right now and went “Ooooh, yeeea!” like the Kool-Aid man.

Hopefully this is the start of a new feature where I go over all the photoshoots we missed this day/week.

- To start off, here’s the hottest bisexual in Hollywood, Amber Heard, posing for Women’s Health.

- Bar Refaeli gets wet in GQ.

- Daisy Lowe also did a spread for GQ. But hers was for GQ Germany.

- Jennifer Garner sat down with In Style.

- Here’s the pinnacle of JWoww’s life. Her spread in Maxim. She might as well kill herself now because this is as good as her life is gonna get.

- Katherine Heigl proves to everyone she’s not a man-hating shrew in her I Hate Balls campagin. Wait, I meant the opposite.

- Miranda Kerr posed half-naked for Grazia.

- I don’t know who Olga Fonda is but she looks hot as hell in FHM.

- And a few pics from Olivia Munn’s shoot for Maxim.

Jennifer Garner told Ellen DeGeneres how she had to explain thongs to her 5-year-old daughter Violet. One day Violet followed Jennifer Garner into the bathroom and said her ass was so fat her “panties don’t even begin to cover it.” Garner then had to explain the thong. “You wear it when  you get older,” Jennifer said. Violet’s reaction? “Uh, that is so gross.”

If you’re wondering what the screen grabs have to do with the story, Jennifer then described what it was like seeing me naked for the first time and how big my penis was. True story. You probably won’t see that part on Ellen because they edited it out.

Ben Affleck’s sperm has conquered Jennifer Garner’s uterus for the third time. Affleck and Garner announced the news in a one-line statement.

A one-sentence statement released Monday says the actors are “thrilled” to have another baby on the way. The couple has two daughters, 5-year-old Violet and 2-year-old Seraphina Elizabeth Rose Affleck. — AP

No other details were given but, really, what other details do you need? Do you want to know what position they conceived in or something? You’re a real sicko.

Jennifer Garner must have been really hot back then because not even dolphins could keep their grubby little fins off of her. Garner was on Letterman promoting Valentine’s Day where she told the story of how a dolphin finished on her foot.

“I had my feet dangling in the water. And the dolphin came and swam right over my foot. I thought, ‘That was so cool!’ The dolphin started swimming around her leg faster and faster until something happened. I said to the trainer, ‘I think the dolphin just peed. He said, ‘No, ma’am, no.’”

She’s lucky the dolphin didn’t jump up and pop off in her face. I bet that dolphin was really pervy and was talking dirty underwater. Saying stuff like, “Take it! Take it, bitch! Aww, yea!” Other dolphins probably warn their dolphin children to stay away from him.

If you thought being on Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP mailing list was bad, wait until she starts writing you personal letters like she does to the married Ben Affleck. Paltrow’s been sending him notes and gifts for births and other major celebrations. Jennifer Garner hates it, but doesn’t say anything because she’s Ben’s friend. Jennifer Garner is very tolerant.

“Ben and Jen got one of Gwyneth’s famous notes this year just after Seraphina was born,” says the insider. “It was very nice, but it was a little too personal. Gwyneth made sure to mention how she was happy that Ben was finally creating the family he had always wanted, a family, which the two of them discussed in depth when they were dating. It just rubs Jen the wrong way.”

Gwyneth Paltrow is so grating even in her writing. Maybe it’s the fact that she doesn’t convey tone very well or maybe it’s the fact that she conveys tone very well. Reading anything she writes feels uncomfortable. Kind of like watching a parent beat their child in front of you and being told to mind your own business when you tell them, “I don’t think kids are supposed to go limp like that.”

Pictures of Jennifer Garner on the set of Valentine’s Day because I’d much rather look at her than Ben Affleck or Gwyneth Paltrow.

Star Magazine is great. Most of their stories don’t pan out and sometimes aren’t even remotely accurate, but they don’t care, they keep trudging along. Today’s story from Star says Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have hired a sex counselor.

The 37-year-old actress has been spotted several times in recent weeks with noted author and therapist Dr. Holly Hein.

“Jennifer has had some ups and downs with Ben, and she likes to check in with Dr. Hein once in a while,” says a source.

They talk tips on keeping the romance alive and dealing with Ben’s need for attention.

“Ben’s great, but he can be very insecure. He likes Jen to play the devoted wife all the time,” the source explains.

Poor Ben. Not only does he suck in movies, but he also sucks in bed. He should try my patented bedroom move. It’s called “crying in the fetal position” and it’s done exactly how it sounds. You perform it before, during and after sex.

Everyone has been waiting with baited breath to hear what Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck named their second kid (not really). People bet that it was going to be either lame or stupid. Turns out, Garner and Affleck went with the latter. The new kid’s name is Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck. Which is great. All people should have three first names.

According to one website specializing in names, Seraphina may have been “derived from the Biblical word ‘seraphim,’ which was Hebrew in origina and meant ‘fiery one.’” According to another website, Seraphina may be derived from the Patron Saint of retarded people. And yet another website who knows nothing about names, says it’s derived from that stripper who gave them a handjob last Saturday. By the way, that last website was mine if you couldn’t figure it out.

Jennifer Garner popped out another baby girl Tuesday afternoon. This is her and husband Ben Affleck’s second daughter. Their first, Violet, was born in December 2005. No further information was given, but considering what they named their first daughter, history dictates this one will be named either Hot Pink, Fuschia or Katy. Also, no word on whether or not she was born with an extra appendage or a tail but the general consensus is that it would be pretty freakin’ sweet if she was.

Matt Damon is a father: Matt Damon and wife, Luciana, welcomed another girl on Wednesday, Aug. 20th. She will join sisters Isabella, 2, and Alexia, 10, and bring estrogen levels in the Damon household to dizzying heights. Just a reminder to Matt when all his daughters reach puberty. Don’t look in the bathroom trash can, just don’t. Dropped your watch in it? Leave it dude, it’s gone.

Jennifer Garner pregnant again: Ending months of speculation, Jennifer Garner admitted to Access Hollywood that she’ll give birth to another little monster. The perfect companion for her two-year-old daughter Violet. The sex of the child is not yet known, but then again, neither are the genus or species.

Someone should tell Jennifer Garner I can see down her shirt… or not. I’m fine either way.

Bonus: Jennifer Garner in Arena.

Victor Garber, Jennifer Garner’s co-star on Alias, accidentally let slip that Jennifer is pregnant for the second time. Us Weekly reports:

“Yes, she is,” Garber, who currently stars on ABC’s Eli Stone, told Us when asked if recent speculation was true that the couple is expecting.

A source adds, “She is five months pregnant. They are very happy.”

A while ago, before the pregnancy rumors, people were speculating these two were on the verge of a break up, citing that they haven’t been pictured together for a while. This sort of kills that rumor. Unless Ben does what I do: changes his identity, grows a mustache, moves across state lines and kills a hooker. Wait, scratch that last part. That’s not really necessary. …Or is it?