Riding Jennifer Lopez’s coattails has really paid off. Not only did Casper Smart get promoted to lead choreographer on Lopez’s tour, but J.Lo just sold a reality show based on him to Oxygen. All he had to do is have sex with her which isn’t the worst thing in the world. The nagging afterward probably is though.

The show will follow Smart as he trains his backup dancers for their upcoming tour and will focus only on Smart and Lopez’s professional relationship. Which is probably just like their personal one anyway. Do this, do that, wear this while I parade you around the red carpet in front of Marc Anthony, stop talking, you’re not attractive when you talk and so on and so forth.

Jennifer Lopez still hasn’t decided whether or not she’s returning to American Idol citing a busy schedule, a major concert tour with Enrique Iglesias and kids to take care of. But you can just chalk that up to a negotiation tactic that’s working. Sources inside Fox say the network is like a battered housewife who doesn’t want to let her go.

This is all amusing since it was Idol that reignited her career. Whatever though. She’s in the latest edition of Vogue where she poses in a bikini and swimsuit. Take a minute for that to sink in. Jennifer Lopez who was close to being pushed into irrelevancy a few years ago is now on Vogue. Her turnaround was bigger than the one John Travolta did when he found out his masseuse was going to be a girl.

Jennifer Lopez, on Ellen with her co-star Cameron Diaz, hinted she wouldn’t be returning to American Idol and that two years of the show may be enough.

“I really do enjoy it,” she said after telling DeGeneres she wasn’t sure what her future on “Idol” might be. “Now this is my second year — I don’t know if I can go for a third year. I miss doing other things. It really does lock you down, which was nice the first year with the babies being three, but now they’re getting more mobile, they’re about to go into school … So I just don’t know.” MTV

Oh, shut up, Jennifer Lopez. Of course she’s returning to Idol. Especially now that Jennifer topped Forbes’ Celebrity 100 list that they released today. This is probably her trying to negotiate now that she saw that Britney Spears is making $15M for X Factor.

A few years prior, she was fading into obscurity. As Forbes explains, “Her albums, like the all-Spanish Como Ama una Mujer, failed to find the broad audience she once enjoyed. Her movies, like El Cantante, flopped.”

In 2010, American Idol turned all that around for her. The exposure gave her a worldwide audience to market her music to and garnered her an endorsement deal with L’Oreal and Gillette. I mean, if she wasn’t on Idol, who’s she going to push out of the way to steal the spotlight from?

Jennifer Lopez and the rest of the American Idol judges were caught getting ready for Wednesday night’s show yesterday. In the above shot, someone must have asked Lopez if she’d care to enjoy a nice fruit plate as opposed to the usual bucket of KFC.

The video for Jennifer Lopez’s single “Dance Again” featuring Pitbull and her boy toy Casper Smart is out. It’s an Inception inspired orgy and is just four and a half minutes of Jennifer Lopez singing to Marc Anthony, “Look who I’m banging now, asshole.”

Also, it took all of 10 seconds for me to want to punch Pitbull in the face. Did that guy ask a plastic surgeon to put a permanent sneer on his face because he thought it’d make him look like a badass?

Jennifer Lopez released a couple of stills from her upcoming music video for ”Dance Again” which debuts Thursday on American Idol. In the first one, Casper Smart is blindfolded. This is to make sure he goes to his happy place when Jennifer is all over him. In the second still, Jennifer is blindfolded. This is so she doesn’t see Casper running away with bags full of her cash.

Jennifer Lopez and her boyfriend Casper Smart were filming a music video for “Follow the Leader” in Mexico. So if you’re wondering, yes, Casper Smart’s plan to ride Jennifer’s coattails to fame is coming along nicely. I’m pretty sure every time Jennifer opens her mouth, all he hears is “cha-ching, cha-ching.”

Jennifer Lopez sports a mighty fine crotch bulge in April’s issue of V Magazine. Oh, there was an interview too. At one point, she tells the mag that you can’t be a winner every time.

“You’re not going to hit the target or the bull’s-eye every time. That’s part of it. At the end of the day, I made those choices. I’ve been in the business now, I don’t want to say how many years. You have amazing moments of recognition and success. But at this point in my life, I try to take it all with a grain of salt.”

Or, in her case, any time. If you look through her list of IMDB credits, the only good films she’s been in are Anaconda, The Cell and The Wedding Planner. Anaconda only because of how terrible it was, The Cell, not because of the acting but because of Tarsem Singh and Out of Sight because she stuck her ass up in the air and looked naked.

In fact, she’s middling at best. I averaged the IMDB ratings for all the movies she’s done and it comes out to 5.6. That’s out of 10. That’s 56%. If she was in school, she would have flunked out. Hollywood should have academic probation. If you don’t have at least a 60% average on IMDB, then you have to go to community college and take acting classes to either earn your way or blow your way out.

While presenting the Oscars for Best Costume Design and Best Makeup with Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez slipped a nipple. Or at least some areola. Maybe. Ironically, their intro was, “Edith Head, the brilliant costume designer, once said a dress should be tight enough to show your a woman and loose enough to prove you’re a lady.” Turns out Lopez took that to heart and loosened up her top a little.

However, Lopez’s stylist denied any slippage tweeting, “The dress fit perfectly to her every inch. There were cups built in and there’s no chance that there were any, how do you say? ‘slips.’” Adding, “While the dress did give the illusion of sheer-ness, joke’s on everyone who wishes they saw something! If you thought that dress was hot wait until you see what’s next.”

I don’t think Lopez’s stylist understood that her areola was peeking out the inside of her dress not through it but whatever. If Jennifer Lopez wanted to slip a nipple, she should have just went for it because this is ridiculous. I’m getting eyestrain trying to find it.

Jennifer Lopez posted a photo of herself in her boytoy’s embrace on Twitter for Valentine’s Day but quickly deleted it. But the internet never forgets. Though sometimes it would like to.

The photo shows the two seemingly naked with Casper Smart tenderly holding and kissing J.Lo’s head. He’s also probably softly whispering in her ear, “C’mon, baby, just the tip. It doesn’t even count.” He’s a romantic.

Have you been waiting for new photos of Jennifer Lopez in a swimsuit? If you responded with an emphatic, “meh,” then you’re in luck because look what I have for you and your indifference. The aforementioned Jennifer Lopez swimsuit pictures. Behold!

Speaking of Jennifer Lopez, Celebitchy transcribed a portion of her Matt Lauer interview that was pretty laughable. Talking about her kids,

Lauer: They’re privileged. Does that worry you at all?
Lopez: I think about it. I loved my upbringing. I’ve tried to give them the same thing, just in a bigger house. The same family, they grew up around their cousins and their aunts, just like I did. The same foods, they eat the same foods I did when I was growing up. You know, I try to just keep what was so good about growing up Puerto Rican in the Bronx, lower middle class family. The same things, the same values that were important to my mom and my dad and what I’ve learned from that upbringing I’ve tried to bring to them.

As Celebitchy notes, her spread in PEOPLE featured a $3,000 stroller and she also showed off their nautical themed nursery with chandeliers. The only way those kids will ever be exposed to lower middle class family values is when she takes them to the homeless shelter to laugh at all the poor people.

Jennifer Lopez started getting embarrassed having to pull out her own credit card to pay for dinner every time she went out with her boytoy Casper Smart. Paying is a man’s job. But J.Lo isn’t about to eat at a McDonald’s no matter how fancy they remodeled it so she did the next logical thing and gave Casper a $10,000 per week allowance.

“Jen doesn’t want to go over the top, showering Casper with too much, but she also wants him to up his game,” the source continues. “Jen is hoping Casper won’t think twice about buying presents for her kids or whisking her off for a surprise weekend getaway.” Hollywood Life

So Jennifer Lopez is giving Casper Smart an allowance so he can splurge on her and plan vacations for her. She should just hire an assistant to bang. It’d be much cheaper and she probably won’t have to pretend to be impressed by the demo reel they force her to watch.

J.Lo’s new boy toy/man servant Casper Smart now has a fancy new car to chauffeur Lopez in. Sources say when he’s done driving Jennifer around town, he gets it for personal use. Like, say, to get her tampons from the store.

Casper Smart and Nick Cannon should get together and talk about how to hold umbrellas. Nick likes to hold it right side up but Casper likes to hold it sideways all gangster like. He’s very street. Classic case of old school meets new school.