Jennifer Love Hewitt was seen having lunch with some guy but she didn’t want the paps to see her so she threw a sweatshirt over her head and, voila, she disappeared. “Where go?,” paparazzi asked themselves as they dragged their knuckles away to their respective caves.

Jennifer Love Hewitt showed up at KIIS FM’s Jingle Ball dressed like she’s single and ready to mingle. She’s hoping her cleavage will distract a man from realizing she’s a neurotic control freak. She’ll probably lay out a 5-year plan on a first date but the guy won’t realize it because he’ll be busy trying to motorboat her.

Jennifer Love Hewitt may be the unluckiest person in the world because she was dumped for the 73rd time by her latest boyfriend, 27-year-old actor Jarod Einsohn. . This time via text message which says a lot.

Jennifer Love Hewitt might just be the most unlucky-in-love Hollywood starlet! Her latest boyfriend, 27-year-old actor Jarod Einsohn, has broken up with her — via text message, a source tells In Touch exclusively. In Touch

Why does this keep happening to her? It could be because she’s overbearing and already has her wedding ring picked out so all her fiance has to do is go to the pick-up window at the jewelry store.

A source claims to In Touch, “She cannot keep a boyfriend. She is very overbearing, and if things don’t go her way, she becomes a diva and flips out.”

She sounds like an absolute joy to be with. I can’t see why more people don’t put up with a woman who has her entire future mapped out and throws a temper tantrum when things don’t go according to plan.

Jennifer Love Hewitt stuffed her pear-shaped body into a green dress and pushed up her cleavage to distract from her expanding waist at last night’s premiere of Twlight: We Split The Finale Into Two Movies to Make You Pay Twice as Much. Though she didn’t need to do that at all considering 90% of the crowd were screaming female lunatics who dismissed anyone who wasn’t Kirsten Stewart or Robert Pattinson or the friendly alpaca named Taylor Lautner.

Jennifer Love Hewitt showed up at the AFI Fest premiere of J. Edgar looking sort of good. It only took a year or so but she finally figured out how to hide her fat ass and make it work for her like Kim Kardashian. Namely, tight clothes with an emphasis on cleavage. Now she looks like the young B-list actress everyone thought she’d become instead of the centaur she turned out to be for an entire year.

Jennifer Love Hewitt probably wants a man more in touch with his feminine side. Not just a man who’ll listen to her feelings but who’ll help bedazzle her vagina when she’s feeling down. Hence, why she went out with a drag queen after hosting a drag bingo tournament at Hamburger Mary’s. Sure, he can’t relate to her monthly bloated feeling, but he sure as hell will make her a warm cup of tea and amuse her with his drag queeniness.

Jennifer Love Hewitt showed up to Fashion Week in New York and showed us that she finally figured out how Kim Kardashian dresses herself so her ass is an asset instead of a liability.

“Kim isn’t the only one that can make a fat ass look good,” Jennifer said to herself in the mirror while touching her butt with her finger and then making a sizzling sound.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is not dating Bachelorette runner-up Ben Flajnik. The tweet she sent about booking a flight to Sonoma to find Ben was just her “looking for something pop culture to tweet about… Things got blown out of proportion.. I have nothing to say except I’m totally single!”

Hewitt was asked if she made out with him. Laughing, she said, “rumors are rumors.. We did meet, but totally by coincidence.” Mm hmm.

An eyewitness told Us Weekly, however, that Flajnik initially stopped by Lion’s Pub in San Francisco with Giants player Cody Ross, but he made a beeline for Hewitt after spotting her across the room. “It seemed like a first date, but he wasn’t overly affectionate,” the source added.

So Jennifer randomly flew to SF and happened to be in the same bar as Ben where the two chatted each other up and maybe made out. What a coincidence. Sort of like how I ended up in Megan Fox’s shower at the same time as her. What are the chances?! Small world, huh, naked Megan Fox?

Here’s Jennifer Love Hewitt in Toluca Lake picking up her family for dinner. She has new, short hair and tried everything she could to distract people from her hips. It worked.

Jennifer Love Hewitt famously once said that she already has her wedding ring picked out. That way her future husband will know exactly what to surprise her with. So, it doesn’t come as a shock that she hasn’t had a man in a while and is now trolling reality dating shows for rejects and asking them out through Twitter. Which is what she did with Ben Flajnik, a 28-year-old winemaker who was given the boot by Ashley Hebert on The Bachelorette.

“OMG! Ben F [accept] my final rose!!!” she excitedly tweeted on Aug. 2, a day after Ashley dumped Ben for JP Rosenbaum. “Gotta book a flight to Sonoma!!!”

Guess what? She wasn’t joking. Life & Style can reveal that the actress flew to San Francisco on Aug. 6 for a sexy date with the 28-year-old winemaker. The two hung out at San Francisco hot spot Lion’s Pub. “Ben from The Bachelorette is making out with Jennifer Love Hewitt,” one eyewitness claimed. Another fan who saw the two even said they may be a couple already, exclaiming, “Oh yeah, Ben and Jennifer Love Hewitt appeared to be dating. All in all, Ben seemed to be perfectly content as the second-place loser on The Bachelorette.”

If there’s any piece of advice someone can give Ben right now it’s run. Run away as far and as fast as you can before you’re stuck holding your crazy girlfriend’s Swarovski crystals as she bedazzles her vagina.

Jennifer Love Hewitt hit the Horrible Bosses red carpet on Thursday in this Herve Leger dress Blake Lively wore two years ago. And it was a pretty good idea having a two year cooling off period because if Blake’s dress was still fresh in everyone’s mind, they wouldn’t be saying she looked good last night. But she did look sort of good. She almost looks like Kim Kardashian. The only difference is her breast to ass ratio is totally off which is very telling considering Hewitt’s breasts are huge.

The bad news is Jennifer Love Hewitt’s body went to hell a few years ago. She looks like a weeble. It’s actually impossible to push her to the ground because she’s so bottom heavy and her center of gravity so low, she’d spring back up.

The good news is she’s figured out a way to hide her hips and have everyone focus on her breasts.

Back in January, Jennifer Love-Hewitt told Ellen DeGeneres that she had already picked out three different Tiffany engagement rings she’d want a guy to propose to her with. It took about four months, but her incessant needling for marriage finally drove away her boyfriend at the time, Alex Beh. Us reports that they’ve been separated for a while.

“They haven’t been dating for a little while,” the rep adds.

Us first reported that Hewitt was dating actor-director Beh in late July 2010 following her March split from Ghost Whisperer costar Jamie Kennedy.

In the wake of her Beh breakup, “She’s doing well,” a pal tells Us.

They should just change the Forever Alone guy to a picture of Jennifer Love-Hewitt. Between the rings she’s pre-chosen, her expanding thighs and her antiquated notions of romance, she might as well give up and get some cats and a sewing machine right now.