Megan Fox’s Jennifer’s Body enjoyed the biggest push of any movie last week. Reports came every day about girl on girl make-out scenes and Megan Fox eating girls as well as boys. So, how did Jennifer’s Body do after all that marketing? Did it take number one at the box office? Not quite. That spot went to the animated flick Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. So, it took the second spot? No, no it didn’t. That went to Matt Damon’s The Informant! Uh, ok. So where did it end up? Glad you asked. It took fifth after that dude who dresses up as chicks in all his movies (Tyler Perry) and Love Happens.

Yikes. It really says something when you’re film gets beaten out by Tyler Perry, creator of such terrible films as Madea Goes to Jail and Madea’s Family Reunion. Maybe now is the time to take me up on the offer of sleeping with me. No? Okay, it was just a suggestion anyway.

Promoting Jennifer’s Body, Megan Fox told E! News that she was bullied in high school, she was a cheerleader back then and you know how much bullies liked to pick on them, and assures teenage girls that it’s only four years of their life.

“I was bullied and it’s hard, you feel like high school’s never going to be over. It’s four years of your life and you just have to remember the person picking on you has their own problems and their own issues,” she adds. “And you’re going to be OK.”

Though pretty generic, it’s better than the advice I would have given which was to find an alternate route to school no matter if it’s 15 miles out of the way and that if you go to Macy’s, they’ll help you pick out the exact concealer you need to hide bruising and most importantly, get your parents involved. Preferably your mother. She’ll be able to stand up to those mean bullies which will in turn earn you the respect of your peers.

Good news. I may have saved you $10. Entertainment Tonight aired the lesbian kiss between Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried from Jennifer’s Body and they showed it right at the beginning so no need to laboriously click on the video player trying to find where it is before your boss comes back.

The rest of the video is Megan Fox talking about her character or something. I don’t know. I didn’t get that far. I’m sure it’s not very important.

Jennifer’s Body opens in two weeks on September 18. That means it’s time to get the “Megan Fox is sexual so you should see the movie” publicity train moving. Speaking with MTV News, Fox talks about how she’s more comfortable kissing girls then men.

“I feel much safer with girls, so I felt more comfortable kissing her in the movie than kissing any of the other people that I had to kiss,” she told MTV News. “I think she was extremely uncomfortable. I don’t think that — I know that. She was not comfortable and there was a lot of laughing — like, giggling fits that happened in between takes.”

Bonus points for adding that in between takes of you two making out, there were giggling fits. Nice touch. Tell me, were you two wearing paper thin tank tops and boy shorts too? I’m not being sarcastic. I really want to know. Spare no detail. Describe everything down to what your breath smelled like. Lilacs and roses I bet.

Here’s Megan Fox getting a parking ticket yesterday. That traffic cop missed the perfect opportunity to “pat her down” for weapons, arrest her for being “totally hot” and take her to booking which is just their mom’s basement.

Megan Fox made a PSA for all the disenfranchised kids out there suffering from peer pressure. She tells them not to give in. Actually she says, “fuck ‘em, they don’t know shit.” Megan continues, “be yourself and if that means killing and eating every boy at your school, then do it.” The more you know.

This makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Mind you, I’ve completely forgotten what she’s talking about. Was it about taxes or puppies or something? Um, whatever. She’s pretty, ya?

Even though I can’t stand Diablo Cody, the red band trailer for Jennifer’s Body came out today and it isn’t too bad. Maybe I dig it because I have a soft spot for horror movies. The campier the better. Especially when there’s a hot chick like Megan Fox and the premise is she’s a bisexual demon who who gets naked before killing people. Sort of like Species.

Is that Adam Brody wearing eyeliner? God, I’ll get so much more satisfaction when he dies now. Megan Fox’s breasts are This movie is gonna be awesome.

Megan Fox plays a cheerleader in Diablo Cody’s Jennifer’s Body. A sacrificed cheerleader who comes back from the dead to seek revenge. Oddly enough, revenge doesn’t involve screwing people’s brains out. At least there’s a girl on girl scene between Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried. Sadly, that’s enough reason for me to pre-purchase tickets for the 2:00 PM, 5:35 PM and 9:45 PM showings.