Would you believe vaccinations lead to autism? No? You think it’s just a bunch of hooey? Well maybe Jenny McCarthy showing off her boobs in these “candids” will convince you otherwise. Huh? What do you think now? Are you convinced?!

Even though Jenny McCarthy is annoying and an gigantic idiot, she still looks great in a little bikini. Evidence of which was on display over the weekend at Miami Beach. She can spout all the nonsense she wants about vaccines causing autism so as long as she wears a two-piece to distract (*cups hands in front of chest*)  from her inane rambling.

The newly single Jenny McCarthy and her boyfriend Jason Toohey hit up Miami Beach today and I’ll say this. Despite being annoying and an idiot, Jenny McCarthy still has an amazing body for 37. Madonna is probably going to kidnap Jenny, throw her in an iron cage and threaten to put her in the oven and eat her if she doesn’t give up her secret.

Jenny McCarthy went on Oprah and talked about her first shoot for Playboy. She says the initial reaction from the crew when she undressed was one of shock and horror. Nuns drew crosses on their heads with their fingers while a Mexican housekeeper shouted “Dios mio!” from the back.

“All of a sudden I hear WOAH, WOAH! And I said is there anything on it? What’s wrong?”

Jenny said the makeup artist came over to her and explained why everyone was so shocked. “They said they never saw anyone as hairy as you in their entire life!” The audience roared as Oprah laughed along with Jenny.

She said there was a discussion with the Playboy staffers and the photographer figured out what to do: “’I say we just light the heck out of it!’” Jenny recalled the photographer saying.

Jenny kept the audience and Oprah in hysterics when she added that the makeup lady used a brush to manicure the region and later exclaimed, “I guess I’m not using this one again!” (video here)

Lewis and Clark probably couldn’t even have made it out of Jenny McCarthy’s vagina. Your penis would need a machete just to have sex with her. I heard it’s so hairy that Brendan Fraser once asked if he could shave it and make a wig out of it.

Jenny McCarthy hosted the Midsummer Night’s Dream lingerie ball at The Palms in Vegas on Saturday. Her body still looks insane for however old she is. If she wasn’t so batsh*t crazy, I’d totally respect her. I’d respect the hell out of her. I’d respect her long and hard and maybe even give her a little respect quickie in the morning.

Following news that even more women will come forward to claim Steven Seagal sexually harassed them, CBS Crimesider found a 1998 interview with Movieline magazine in which Jenny McCarthy said Steven tried to get her into the old casting couch.

McCarthy describes, “I go inside Seagal’s office, and he’s by himself and says, ‘Sit on my couch.’ Then he said, ‘Take off your dress.’ I just started crying and said, ‘Rent my Playboy video, you asshole!’ and ran out to the car.”

Every time I hear one of these stories about Steven, I imagine his fat ass sitting on his casting couch messily stuffing a donut into his mouth with one hand and pointing to a naive actress across from him with the other and commanding her in a creepy, gravely voice to “Striiiiip for Steven.”

Also maybe like Fergie Olver in the video below. But substitute little girls for desperate actresses.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PD2ARRee35c

Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey both announced via their Twitter that they broke up. Jim wrote: “Jenny and I have just ended our 5yr relationship. I’m grateful 4 the many blessings we’ve shared and I wish her the very best! S’okay! ?;^>”

Jenny wrote: “Im so grateful for the years Jim and I had together. I will stay committed to Jane (Ed note: Jane is Jim’s daughter) and will always keep Jim as a leading man in my heart.”

It’s nice to see a 5 year relationship end peacefully on Twitter. Much better than dealing with people face to face. Especially when you have an unplanned pregnancy. It makes moving and changing your name much easier.

[Bauer-Griffin]

Jenny McCarthy doesn’t look too shabby for 36. Jim Carrey, however, looks like his face is melting. All those years of making funny expressions have taken its toll. He’s molded it in such crazy ways that it no longer knows its original form. I don’t want this happening to me. That’s why I have decided to remain expressionless for the rest of my life. Which should make sex very awkward and serial killer-y. But on the bright side, no wrinkles!

If you’re stuck in the 90′s organizing pogs into neat, orderly piles in your parents’ guest house, then have I got news for you. Jenny McCarthy is in a bikini playing with a stuffed chicken. However, with good news comes bad news. She’s no longer on MTV’s Singled Out, Kurt Cobain is dead and long, greasy hair is no longer attractive. It never was. Sorry to have to be the one to tell you.

You know how that guy who’s known for being funny, but hasn’t done anything funny in years, one day tries to do something funny again and he gets a little chuckle out of everyone with an impromptu gag, but then runs with it for too long making it not funny anymore and actually kind of pathetic? No? Okay. Well, anyway. Jim Carrey and his girlfriend Jenny McCarthy were at the beach over the July 4th weekend.

Well, not really cure. Jenny says she’s done what no scientist has been able to do for years and found a way to ease the symptoms of autism. The thing is, the medical community just won’t listen.

McCarthy, whose five-year-old son Evan suffers from the disorder, travels around America giving talks about the alleged benefits of natural medicines.

But the blonde, who is dating Jim Carrey, wishes doctors would acknowledge how diets and vitamins can be used to treat autism.

She says, “I’ve been speaking to moms across the country who are all shouting out the same thing: ‘This (diet and supplement intake) is working.’”

This is like the time I told doctors I found a cure for erectile dysfunction. I told them that all they needed to do was to look at a really hot, naked girl and bam! Instant boner. They told me I didn’t know what erectile dysfunction really was. I told them to look at my bulging pants and think again, but don’t linger because that would be sort of gay and I’m not into dudes.

Two years ago, Jenny McCarthy’s son, Evan, was diagnosed with autism. Things were difficult until she found Jim Carrey. She says Evan really took to Jim and she has even begun to call him the Autism Whisperer.

“He’s actually helped Evan get past some obstacles I couldn’t. I sometimes call him the autism whisperer. He speaks a language Evan understands, and Evan feels safe with him.”

I don’t know why they’re making a big deal out of working with autistic people. I’m pretty good at it if I do say so myself. I once dated a hot autistic girl. I had no problems whatsoever. I even slept with her that night. I love autistics. Wait, autistic means slut, right?

Jenny McCarthy was on vacation with Jim Carrey and here she is showing off her body in a bikini. She looks lonely. After the travesty that was Singled Out, she should be. Anyway, this page has too many celebrities not going to jail so here’s Jenny McCarthy to lighten it up.