Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri broke up. Rumors of the relationship’s demise began swirling when Jermaine was noticeably absent from Michael Jackson’s memorial.

“You shouldn’t mix business with pleasure,” a mutual pal explains. (Dupri produced several tracks on her last two CDs.) “Janet felt their lives were too crossed and they should have kept things sepa­rate.”

“Jermaine likes to be out there, mingling with everybody, and ­Janet’s more shy.” (And secretive: She kept her nine-year marriage to Rene Elizondo hidden until their 2000 ­divorce.)

Did you just feel that? Those are shock waves being sent through the community. I’m sure everyone is completely devastated. That singer who hasn’t had a hit in a while and that little weird looking dude are no longer together. My god. What will we ever do? Excuse me while I cry into my sandwich.

[Image: Splash News]

Jermaine Dupri has introduced Janet Jackson to the wonderful world of sex toys and stripping. She says Jermaine makes her feel totally uninhibited and has taken her places she has never been before.

Did this send shivers up your spine like it did mine? Janet Jackson looks so manly now that I’m suprised she hasn’t sprouted a penis. Or maybe she has and Jermaine is really into it. My only plea is that they use condoms, birth control, spermicide, iuds or coathangers because mini-Jermaines/Janets would be creepier than Willy Wonka’s munchkins. They wouldn’t be as cool either since they’d be manufacturing steroids instead of candy.

Here’s something I didn’t know and there is very little that I do not know. Janet Jackson has said that she is considering having kids now that she has found love with Jermaine Dupri. She says that if he wants to adopt, then she’ll adopt.

On collaborating with Dupri on some tracks on her new album, she said, “There is no challenge with Jermaine. … Jermaine is drama-free. A lot of friends thought it would have had a major strain on the relationship, but not at all. He’s very giving – and I can give a little too.”

I’m impressed Beetlejuice can get a woman even though it’s a 40 year old Janet Jackson who was 300lbs a few months ago. I’m also glad that she’s talking about adoption because having Jermaine Dupri spawn children would be of no benefit to anyone except plastic surgeons.

Judging by these pictures, Janet Jackson looks like she’s going to hack up Jermaine into tiny pieces and dump him into a swamp full of alligators or whatever it is serial killers do. Click the banner for hi-res of that one.