Jerry Seinfeld was on WFAN radio Monday night where he called Lady Gaga a jerk and said he hates her. Jerry was talking about the incident where Gaga gave the finger to fans during a Mets game and was somehow upgraded to the luxury box he owned.

“This woman is a jerk. I hate her,” Seinfeld joked during an interview on WFAN radio Monday night. “I can’t believe they put her in my box, which I paid for.”

“You give people the finger and you get upgraded? Is that the world we’re living in now? he said.

In his trademark stand-up schtick, Seinfeld added, “Why is she giving the finger? How old is the finger? How’d it even get to be the finger?”

When host Steve Somers brought up the episode, Seinfeld at first said, “I wish her the best,” but then added, “you take one ‘A’ off of that and you’ve got gag.”

“I don’t know what these young people think or how they promote their careers,” he said. “I’m older, I’m 56. I look at Lady Gaga the way Keith Hernandez watches these kids when they pull the pocket out, they wear the inside-out pocket. … Do you think he understands that? He can’t understand that. That’s a new game, that’s kids.”

He added, “I’m not one of these all-publicity-is-good people. People talk about you need exposure — you could die of exposure.”

“She is talented,” admitted Seinfeld. “I don’t know why she’s doing this stuff.”

You can half attribute this to Lady Gaga being an attention whore and half to Jerry Sienfeld being old. Part way through reading this I was expecting Jerry to talk about the day he tied an onion to his belt because that was the style at the time. The point is, the only way you can figure out what he’s talking about is if you were one of those people who walk around the house breathing with an oxygen tank.

Popeater says after Conan O’Brien announced that he’s leaving NBC, Jay Leno is also contemplating leaving the network. Sources say Jay is “furious” over the way NBC is treating him and Conan and hates how NBC is making it look like he’s the one who pushed Conan into the unemployment line. Not only that, there’s no trust anymore. Jay’s wondering what will happen if he can’t get his audience back within 7 months. NBC will probably kick him in the nuts and send him packing. Popeater says that there’s a good chance Jerry Seinfeld will be the new Tonight Show host if all this happens.

It makes you think. Was Seinfeld masterminding this whole thing all along, egging on NBC, Jay and Conan? He’s like the little devil that sits on your shoulder whispering into your ear, but in an annoying, unfunny sort of way.

The Wall Street Journal via The New York Post says Conan O’Brien has already started talking with FOX.

“This level of sh- – -iness was not expected,” one source said.

“He’s done a great job for NBC. He moved his entire staff, he moved his family to LA. And five months later, they repay him like this?”

Jerry Seinfeld, who has a new show on NBC and is a friend of Leno, predictably defended them both:

“What did the network do to Conan? I don’t think anyone’s preventing people from watching Conan,” he said during an appearance to hype his new NBC show, “The Marriage Ref.”

No, no one’s preventing people from watching Conan, but I think Jerry’s deliberately missing the point. Let’s replace Jerry’s new show with 30 minutes of barking dogs and move it to a 2 AM time slot and see how he feels. I mean, no one’s preventing people from watching The Marriage Ref, so it should be all good, right? Just like if you slashed NBC chairman’s Jeff Gaspin’s tires. He can still drive. All he has to do is get new tires. That last one was for you, Conan. Wink, wink.

Last week, both Madonna and A-Rod flew to the Hamptons in separate private helicopters within 40 minutes of each other and were taxied by different cars to Jerry Seinfeld’s waterfront mansion where they “relaxed for several hours.”

“A dark SUV and Jerry in another Porsche both pulled up and picked up Madonna and they headed back to Jerry’s place,” a witness told us. “When they arrived at the Seinfeld home, Madonna poked her head out the window and could be clearly seen.”

“About four hours later, the dark SUV left the house and took them all back to the airport. Madonna and the Seinfelds could clearly be seen getting out and piling into the copter that had taken Madonna there in the first place. They left together,” our witness said. “Several minutes later, the helicopter that carried A-Rod also left.”

This is all highly unnecessary. Madonna probably wanted to feel like she was in a stupid movie where she has to have clandestine rendevous at friends’ houses so no one will find out she’s banging A-Rod. Like she’s a big, important Hollywood celebrity. In reality, no one cares. Madonna must have been the source for this “look at me” rumor. Guy Ritchie probably read it, rolled his eyes and went back to f’ing some 21-year-old.

Microsoft recently signed Jerry Seinfeld for a reported $10 million as a part of their $300 million campaign to battle the image of an uptight, uncool, un-hip, un-everything beige-box-loving businessman that Apple cast upon them. The commercials were met with tepid response and further cemented how out of touch Microsoft truly is.

This afternoon, Valleywag broke the news that Microsoft is dropping Seinfeld and spinning a story that the Seinfeld commercial was only phase one of their genius campaign and that phase two will begin shortly.

In a phone call, Waggener Edstrom flack Frank Shaw confirms that Microsoft is not going on with Seinfeld, and echoes his underlings’ spin that the move was planned. There is the “potential to do other things” with Seinfeld, which Shaw says is still “possible.” He adds: “People would have been happier if everyone loved the ads, but this was not unexpected.”

If you’ve seen the commercials, you’ll realize they makes no sense and has nothing to do with anything and are basically a waste of money. A better commercial would have been to mock Apple for saying you are defined by what OS you use. Because that’s the dumbest thing ever. Did you know you can build your own computer and dual boot both Vista and Leopard? Did you know you can do the same on one of those overpriced Apple prefab computers too? What happens when someone does that? Does that make them automatically hipper and cooler than both Apple and Microsoft fanboys? Please tell me, oh gods of computing.

On Wednesday night at 7:40 p.m., Jerry Seinfeld, who no doubt was still dressed in his Bee Movie costume, was driving around the Hamptons in his vintage, two-door 1967 Fiat BTM when his brakes malfunctioned. The 53-year-old comedian tried using the emergency brakes, but when that didn’t work, he “swerved to keep the vehicle from careening into an intersection.” His car flipped over, stopping before it hit the highway. Jerry who had not been drinking, escaped the accident without a scratch. East Hampton Town Police Chief Todd Sarris said Seinfeld’s quick thinking may have avoided a serious accident. Jerry joked (can you call this a joke?),

“Because I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something I recommend, unless you have professional clown training or a comedy background, as I do,” he told the newspaper. “It is not something I plan to make a habit.”

He punctuated his statement with. Go rent Bee Movie. Out on DVD today! Then he wildly flapped his arms in an attempt to do his best impersonation of a bee and made a buzzing sound as he flew around reporters trying to suck nectar out of their breasts. Ha, just kidding. He didn’t need to pretend to be a bee to do that.