The Blemish

Browsing: jessica alba

Cash Warren is creative, not really

March 25th, 20082 comments

In what may be news to some, Cash Warren has a social networking site called IBeatYou.com where people go to beat each other [off]. *Snicker* To promote it he made a lip dub video and convinced his pregnant girlfriend Jessica Alba to appear in the video. Not surprisingly, this pales in comparison to the time …

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Tom Cruise auditioned his wives

March 10th, 20081 comment

Ex-scientologist Marc Headley, who used to produce promo films for the cult, claims that Tom Cruise had a hard time landing a girlfriend after his split from Penelope Cruz in 2004 so he did what any self-respecting man would do and set up a series of fake casting calls to find himself a wife. Actresses …

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Jessica Alba was a hot sixth grader

February 28th, 2008Respond

Jessica Alba wrote an essay for a book called “If I’d Known Then.” In it, she remembers the time she was in sixth grade and had huge breasts. Because of this the elementary school principle and a few “self-righteous” PTA moms labeled her a slut. She also writes,
“Boys are awful. They are made of nothing …

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Jessica Alba to have twins

February 21st, 20081 comment

The National Enquirer reports that Jessica Alba recently learned she’s going to have twins just like Jennifer Lopez and possibly Angelina Jolie. Alba is both excited and dismayed because this means she’ll have to redo her plans to include two babies.
One friend tells the publication, “Knowing that she’s going to have twins has turned Jessica’s …

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Jessica Alba does more horror

February 19th, 20083 comments

Hoping to redeem herself for that awful Chinese horror remake she did, Jessica Alba appeared in Latina Magazine and paid homage to a bunch of horror classics. Psycho, Scream, Exorcist, Birds and Rosemary’s Baby were all shot with Jessica Alba in place of the original actors. In unrelated news, the next Latina Magazine was one …

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Jessica Alba wants her kids to speak only Spanish

February 8th, 20084 comments

Jessica Alba tells Latina Magazine she plans to speak only Spanish to her baby because she always regretted not learning it from her grandparents as a child and eventually they’ll learn English at school anyway. The problem is Jessica doesn’t know how to speak Spanish. A conundrum indeed. Alba’s father never spoke Spanish to her …

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Jessica Alba is getting plumper

February 1st, 2008Respond

Jessica Alba attended the premiere for her new Hong Kong horror remake, The Eye, and just between you and me, I think she’s pregnant. Don’t ask me how I know, I just have a sixth sense for these things. Women call me intuitive. I guess it’s true. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty …

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Hayden Christensen was frightened

January 24th, 20081 comment

Hayden Christensen was horrified when he was told he’d have to do a sex scene with Jessica Alba noting that it was one of the “scariest moments in his life.” I should probably mention it’s because he thought Jessica was really pretty.
“I was just so nervous. Really nervous. Running around with a lightsaber is really …

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