Jessica Alba tells InStyle she loves challenging authority. According to Jessica, this wasn’t easy on her parents. The sexpot explains,
“The second somebody says ‘no’ to me is the second I’m going to jump up and say ‘yes!’”
No Jessica. I will not try anal with you. I thought I’d get that out of the way. Now …

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GQ did a photoshoot with Jessica Alba which coincidentally turns out to be the best they’ve ever done. A big step up from that Lindsay Lohan one that made her look like an injured prostitute. There’s also a video here. And um, yea. I’ll pretty much be in the bathroom for the rest of the …

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Jessica Alba was at a recent photo shoot in one of those swirly things that spin around and try to hypnotize you. Except, I’m not really hypnotized. Just a little queasy which is the normal response to seeing Jessica Alba. I met her one time and instead of shaking her hand or doing something suave, …

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Jessica Alba continued shooting her Revlon commercial. This time sandwiched between two guys. A complete betrayal of our relationship. I made her that pink construction paper valentine with “Jessica Alba Forever” written in gold glitter and what does she do? Stomps and spits on it. Mark my words Jessica, I won’t soon forget this. We …

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Here’s Jessica Alba shooting some Revlon commercial which should ultimately lead to an Oscar. Do they give Oscars for commercials? If they don’t, they really should. They can have a category like “Best Shot of a Celebrity’s Ass and Panties Through a Sheer Dress.” The name needs a little refining, but it would be a …

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Jessica Alba gave her dog a slobbery kiss during a film break which may or may not mean she cheated on me. Last time I talked to her, she told me she’d make out with her dog before she ever made out with me. Does this mean I’m next? Please God, let it mean I’m …

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Jessica Alba told a tv reporter on the set of Rise of the Silver Surfer that Desparate Housewive’s Felicity Huffman made her cry in acting class.
“Felicity was very hard on me. She’s a tough cookie, that one. I just remember her making me cry because I didn’t prepare a scene right, or I didn’t talk …

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For some reason, Jessica Alba looks a little underwhelming in these pictures. It could be the two white napkins clipped to her head or that it looks like she just woke up from an all night bender. Suffice it to say, today I won’t be masturbating to Jessica Alba. But you say what’s wrong? She …

Continue reading "Jessica Alba is just like us"