The Blemish

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Jessica Simpson’s blemished face gets $3 million

October 12th, 2007Respond

Jessica Simpson renewed her deal with face wash company, Proactiv, for $3 million. She has already shot new infomercials which will air close to Christmas. The commercials will once again feature Jessica Simpson convincing millions of acne sufferers to buy Proactiv because it worked so well on the 3 pimples she has every 6 months. …

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Orlando Bloom crashes, dating Jessica Simpson

October 12th, 2007Respond

Orlando Bloom dating Jessica Simpson is the headline making the rounds today. OK! Magazine reports the two secretly arrived together at the Hennessy Artistry event on Wednesday.
“They slipped in a little after 8 p.m. and remained backstage for roughly 20 minutes before leaving together,” an eyewitness tells OK!.
Sounds like me and my penis on a …

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Robo Simpson is on the loose

October 3rd, 20071 comment

A robotic Jessica Simpson took to the streets in a busty blue dress in desperate search of both a man and a career. Judging by the redness of her knees, she’s been at it for a while.

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Jessica Simpson goes for a jog

September 21st, 20072 comments

It was either post pictures of Jessica Simpson jogging on the set of Major Movie Star or talk about how Joe Francis is a rapist. I hope I made the right choice. By the way, this movie is going to suck, but if it’s 90 minutes of Jessica Simpson’s heaving breasts, I might be persuaded …

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Jessica Simpson is country

September 18th, 20071 comment

Jessica Simpson showed up somewhere in these Daisy Dukes. She’s looking good this time. But, with her, you never know what you’re going to wake up to. One day it’ll be the cutest thing and the next it’ll be some weird looking monster. My poor heart can’t take that.

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Jessica Simpson wants to be artificially inseminated

September 14th, 2007Respond

Jessica Simpson has expressed her desire to have a child on more than one occasion. She was considering adoption, but, apparently, the idea of having a half-retard raise someone else’s child wasn’t idiotic enough. She now wants to be artificially inseminated with hairstylist and friend, Ken Paves’, sperm. Someone is claiming Jessica Simpson will have …

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Jessica Simpson is a jerk

September 6th, 20072 comments

Jessica Simpson attended the W magazine party yesterday and managed to piss off some designers after publicists cleared the balcony where she and her friends took over and banned anyone else from entering. To make matters worse, because of the heat, guests needed the balcony to cool off.
Once outside, Simpson, 27, talked mostly to her …

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Jessica Simpson is beat

September 6th, 2007Respond

I’m not sure why Jessica Simpson is trying to make herself ugly. I thought Ashlee had that covered. You know how you give a kid a choice between eating his veggies or eating dog food and he chooses the veggies because the alternative isn’t any better? That’s why Ashlee Simpson was born. She’s the dog …

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