Olivia Wilde went on Jimmy Kimmel yesterday to promote Cowboys & Aliens but also talked about The Change-Up and mentioned how she got the final say on how her nipples looked in the movie.

Wilde wasn’t actually naked but was CGI’ed naked. *Kicks doll* Dammit. “You wear pasties when you’re on-set so people don’t see your nipples (she likes to draw happy faces on her pasties).” During taping, Ryan Reynolds was supposed to be blocking her body but moved and exposed the pasties. Filmmakers were now forced to superimpose CGI nipples on her chest. Oh, the horror!

“I got to approve the nipples!” Wilde said.

“So there’s a nipple artist!” Kimmel said. “The guys doing that sort of work must not have seen that many of them in real life.”

“Exactly: Not since their mother!” Wilde said.

“It’s a real nipple fest over there!” Kimmel joked.

Aww, you mean those nipples aren’t real? Well, it’s not like I haven’t masturbated to less. *Pulls down pants, ogles Aunt Jemima bottle*

According to John Stamos, Ryan Seacrest is a big fairy who prances around in pretty dresses and high heels every night. Just read between the lines, man.

Stamos was on Jimmy Kimmel last night to promote an upcoming production of Hairspray which he’s in and he described his role as a straight Ryan Seacrest. “I play Corny Collins, he’s sort of a DJ, he hosts a music show,” Stamos said. “Sort of like a straight Ryan Seacrest! “Ryan’s a friend, we’ve kissed.”

That whore! He said I was the only one he’s kissed!

Johnny Knoxville went on Jimmy Kimmel last night and for whatever reason teamed up with Britney Spears to pretend she did a skit called Poo Cocktail Supreme from Jackass 3D.

Knoxville acted like it was a “deleted scene” but one too many “yeah yeahs” gave it away. Not that he was trying to make it seem real, but a little more effort would have been nice. That and the whole thing looks fake. They threw blue water on the camera lens to make it look like Britney was actually doing a stunt while using footage from the real stunt.

Next time they should tell her it’s fake and then actually do it. But instead of poo, have it be chocolate pudding. By the time you open the door to the port a potty, Britney will already be down on her knees lapping everything up. Except the audience won’t know it’s chocolate.

Jimmy Kimmel debuted his new workout system as part of his Hottie Body Hump Club and I can’t believe it took this long for me to find out about this. Kimmel brings out all the big hitters, Scarlett Johansson, Minka Kelly, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Sofia Vargas, Emiliy Blunt and Kelly Ripa and tricks them into humping a ball. Apparently it’s a great workout system if you’re not forced to do it at gunpoint.

My favorite was Jessica Alba. Only because with her I wouldn’t be the only one crying during sex. Also, Jessica Biel scares me. If I ever had sex with her, I’d make sure there was a safe word.

Cameron Diaz went on Jimmy Kimmel Live and hammed it up for the audience to promote her new movie Bad Teacher where she plays the sexy, unconventional teacher. Naturally, Kimmel asked her about porn to which Cameron shouted “I love porn!”

She went on, “You know what I love about hotels? How discreet they are. They always give you that little thing at the bottom – ‘Your room will be charged the same as any other room, no titles will be used.’”

That’s a relief. I thought this was going to be about how Cameron Diaz wanted to star in porn. I was ready to dive out my window.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujo9FRh8nf0

Jay Leno told Oprah that Jimmy Kimmel “sucker-punched” him by going on Jay’s 10@10 and sounding off on the late night controversy. Last night on Jimmy Kimmel, Kimmel said Leno going on Oprah was more of a sucker-punch then what he did on Jay’s show. Kimmel explained that Leno’s people wanted him to talk about pointless things like his junk food weakness instead of discussing what people wanted to hear about which was the Leno-Conan situation.

“I figured I’d start in, he’d get into it and we’d mix it up,” Kimmel said. “You know, at one time [Leno] was a comedian. But he didn’t do that. He stood there and he just kind of read through the questions like a robot.”

For his part, Leno told Winfrey that he was taken aback by Kimmel’s remarks but ultimately decided not to edit them out of his show. “I said, ‘No. Put it out there. I walked into it,’ ” Leno told her, explaining that when you get hit, “You get right up again. You don’t whine and complain.”

But at the end of his monologue Thursday night, Kimmel had the last laugh – for now. “Watch out Oprah,” he said, “don’t think he won’t take your show next.”

It’s going to be interesting to see how Jay’s ratings are when he returns. NBC jerked Conan around firing him only 7 months after he took over the show and Jay was more than happy to stab Conan in the back. He’s like the village idiot. If in another 7 months The Tonight Show tanks, NBC will probably replace Jay with a bear balancing on a ball and all Jay will do is stand there with a stupid grin while NBC bends him over and rapes him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axwO6BkCtIo

Jimmy Kimmel was a video guest on Jay Leno’s 10 at 10 segment last night where he turned every answer into a Leno insult. To his credit, Leno managed to get through the probably planned segment without cutting him off. A few choice highlights.

Jay: “You’re known for pranks … what’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled?”
Jimmy: “I think the best prank I ever pulled was… … I told a guy that five years from now, I’m going to give you my show. And then when the five years came, I gave it to him and then I took it back almost instantly. It was hilarious.”

Jay: “Is there anything you haven’t hosted that you want to host?”
Jimmy: “Oh, this is a trick right? Where you get me to host the ‘Tonight Show’ and then take it back? You’ve got $800 million. For God’s sake, leave our shows alone.”

I wonder if now that everyone thinks he’s a jerk, Jay still finds comfort in his millions of dollars. I know I would. Looking at my stacks of bills shaped into a life-size Megan Fox, all my troubles would melt away. Mmmm, I love you, blood money.

Following in the footsteps of David Letterman, late night host Jimmy Kimmel revealed that he and his head writer Molly McNearney were dating. No one cared because Jimmy Kimmel is unfunny and unpopular. However, now there are allegations that Jimmy unfairly promoted Molly over other more qualified staff because they were in a relationship. Some even say the air of invincibility around Molly has turned her into a bitch.

…one staffer even quit because they felt that Molly wasn’t qualified for the promotions she was receiving. According to the source, the staff is disgruntled that Molly gets preferential treatment and isn’t afraid to let people know about her relationship. “People on the staff think she has become nasty lately.”

“Molly McNearney definitely has been using her relationship with Jimmy to move up in the show, and he definitely played favorites with her over other more qualified staffers,” said the source.

Maybe this hasn’t settled in for everybody yet but let me reiterate this fact. Molly is having sex with Jimmy Kimmel. Ugh, that’s commitment to one’s career. She deserves some kind of award for that. If not a promotion, then maybe a plaque of sorts or my many condolences.

[Image: Splash News]

Earlier this month, Billy Bob Thornton had an awkward interview with CBC show Q. Thornton sat there being difficult when the host, interviewing him about his band, introduced him as an actor, something Billy asked him not to do.

Billy Bob went on Jimmy Kimmel last night and talked about it. For him, it was surprising that it was news. He said he does that all the time when hosts don’t adhere to his requests. One time he told a host that he had a metal plate in his head and received signals from Venus. He also joked that the interview “gave humpbacked geeks all over the world something to do for a couple of days.” Kimmel, of course, gave Thornton a verbal handjob, giggling over everything he said.

Hey, remember when Jimmy Kimmel was on The Man Show? Back when he used to be fun? Now he pretends he’s just like the stars he interviews. He’s like that geeky kid on the playground that agrees with the cool kids just to fit in. Brad Pitt could call him a raging sycophant on live television and Jimmy would laugh and say, “I am aren’t I? You are the man, Brad!”

Late Night host Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have broken up for the second time. The two split last July only to get back together a few months later. Now it looks like the relationship is over for good or until they realize no one else can stand their jokes which, by my estimate, will happen in six months.

Mark Wahlberg was a guest on Jimmy Kimmel last night during which Jimmy played the SNL skit of Andy Samberg impersonating Wahlberg while talking to animals. Wahlberg obviously has no sense of humor because he started getting uncomfortable and swore that next time he sees Andy, “I’m going to crack that big fucking nose of his.” He continued, “I don’t play that shit. I’m going to fly to New York tomorrow and slap him in the big nose. Tune in.”

Way to be a humorless, self-important douche bag. Marky Mark seems pretty high on himself for a guy who’s only talent is looking mean and talking in a strained voice. I’m sure he’s fully capable of leaving Andy Samberg drowning in a pool of his own blood but he’ll still end up being known as the dickhead who kicked the ass of a guy who has panic attacks when he sees a butterfly.

The world’s most eligible bachelor, Jimmy Kimmel, has broken up with comedienne, Sarah Silverman, after five years of dating. Sarah’s rep confirmed the report and added:

“Jimmy and Sarah have and will have no further comment.”

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman made the most confusing couple in Hollywood. Neither of them are particularly funny, but Sarah was pretty hot for a comedienne and was out of his league. If I had to guess, they probably ended it because of their sex life which was basically Sarah taking off her clothes and Jimmy sitting on the edge of the bed in his tightey whities laughing like a retard, clapping his hands and drooling all over himself.

• Kelly Brook – Girls of FHM – 2007. Need I say more? [Bastardly]
• Angelina Jolie returns to Africa. [HB]
• Worst hair and makeup at the Oscars. [Celebitchy]
• The aliens are amongst us. [Ninjadude]

• John Travolta’s Oscar rug. [CityRag]
• Fun art with celebrities. [Celebrity Smack]
• Eddie Murphy is a sore loser? [Dlisted]
• Jimmy Kimmel’s take on Al Gore’s inconvenient song. [SOW]

• Reno 911 gets the job done. [Pajiba]
• Jessica Biel and Wilmer Valderrama. [Celebslam]
• Ana Beatriz Barros is sexy. [The Grumpiest]
• Will Ferrell’s song at the Oscars. [ICYDK]