For whatever reason, Joan Rivers has her own show on WE. It flew under the radar until last night when Joan bought medical weed and got high in her car with her friend Lynne. They wind up baked and hungry but Lynne can’t drive because operating machinery while stoned is the most confusing thing ever.

They end up calling her daughter Mellisa Rivers who gets all pissy and says she’s ashamed of both of them. Yea, yea, Officer Buzzkill, why don’t you stop at that food truck over there and get us some burgers. Melissa tried putting them to sleep at home but that didn’t work. She should have tried the old pillow over face trick. Works every time. In any case, Joan and Lynne end up in the hot tub fully clothed motorboating around the water. Which I guess is expected for a 78-year-old who’s high as balls.

For whatever reason, Joan Rivers called Victoria Beckham “vulgar” for showing off her $9,000 Hermes handbags every time she goes out. Rivers also says no one in LA likes her. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was trying to make Victoria Beckham cry. Hopefully for her next trick, Joan sits on Victoria’s chest and makes her hit herself.

In an interview with Closer, the 76-year-old described the fashion icon as “rude,” and commented on the fact that the former Spice Girl flaunts she has a hundred Hermes £6,000 bags, and shouldn’t be doing so when some of the world are starving. She continues to bombard Beckham with insults saying that she is “too short to be a diva,” and she shows a “distinct lack of class.” Rivers continues to say that everyone in LA, where Beckham lives in Beverly Hills with her husband David, have nothing good to say about her.

Whatever. I’d flaunt $9,000 purses if I could afford it and if my friends wouldn’t kick my ass if I put one on my arm. I’d also buy a dozen bagels, only eating one and throwing the rest away in front of homeless people. Then I’d point to an orphan kid and yell, “Hey, everyone. Look at that loser. He’s got no mommy and daddy. Haha!”

Who cares about Joan Rivers anyway? Victoria Beckham is skinny with big tits. She has carte blanche to do whatever she likes. Victoria could kick a newborn baby and I’d be fine with it as long as she showed some cleavage and jumped up and down to warm up before her big punt.

[New York, February 23. Images via INF.]

Joan Rivers is a hundred years old and when you’re that age it doesn’t matter what comes out of your mouth because anything you do say will be followed by a polite laugh even though it’s not meant to be funny. (Oh you pooped your pants? Ha ha, grandma.) Which is why it was weird when the tv show Loose Women asked Joan to leave after she dropped the f-bomb during a live broadcast. PEOPLE reports:

Rivers went code blue when she was asked about the challenges of interviewing celebrities on the red carpet. She said, “Get ready to bleep this,” before using the offending words while talking about Russell Crowe.

Joan has since issued an apology, kind of.

“Yes, I swore, and I’m so fucking sorry. No one told me the TV show Loose Women was a reality show and that I would be voted off,” said she later in her statement. “It’s funny: offstage, I hardly ever use profanity. My favorite four-letter word is ‘shop.’ “

People of a certain age should be allowed to get away with whatever they want. I mean, if someone has been on this planet for 70 years, they should be extended the courtesy of swearing on live tv. At 80 years old, they should be able fondle women’s breasts without being hassled by the cops. I think old people deserve that right.