The father of a 17-year-old guy who wishes to remain anonymous claims Jodie Foster attacked his son in the parking lot of The Grove on May 29. He alleges Foster “pushed and shoved him leaving scratches and bruises on his arm.” All this from being poked in the chest. Jodie Foster must have retard strength.

The police report read: “Vict while at The Grove saw susp and began to take pics of susp with his camera then walked to the valet area of The Grove. Susp followed vict, poked him on his chest, grabbed vict by his left arm causing visible injury.”

The father of the alleged victim told RadarOnline.com exclusively: “My son was at The Grove with his girlfriend and they were going to see a movie. He saw Jodie Foster and is a big fan so went over and took a picture of her.

“She came after him, poked him in the chest and said, ‘Do you even have a mother you slime ball?’”

The family tells RadarOnline.com that their son was really confused and apologized profusely to the actress. “He didn’t mouth back at all and was scared of her,” the father said. “At one point Jodie’s son even came over to my son and apologized. Her kids were really embarrassed.

But the alleged victim’s father not only insists his was victimized, he’s furious. “On top of it all, he’s a minor!” he told RadarOnline.com. “My wife is furious that while Jodie was trying to protect her children, she wasn’t there to protect her son.

“This left a really bad impression on my son about her. He used to be a big fan and now he has a bad taste in his mouth. He’s a good kid; kind of small for his age. There was no threat to Jodie.”

Note that Jodie Foster is 47 and about the size of a goblin. If that kid made it out of the attack as injured as he said, he has much bigger problems. One of which is where he may have misplaced his balls. Could they be in his girlfriend’s purse, perhaps? Or is mommy keeping them in a drawer until he turns 21?

[Bauer]

Naveen Andrews who plays badass Sayid on Lost is set to star alongside Jodie Foster in her new movie, The Brave One.

A woman (Foster) struggles to recover from a brutal attack by setting out on a mission for revenge.

That concept could go so many ways. Just think, Sympathy For Lady Vengence mixed with Irreversible. What more could one ask for. Well, one could ask for Jodie Foster to not be naked.

Before Andrews was on Lost, he was in Bride & Prejudice. What I did not know was he was also in these: Rollerball, Mighty Joe Young and The English Patient. The last one because I have never seen it and I never will, so stop trying to make me.