Jodie Marsh, an ex-glamour girl who started a new career in bodybuilding has opened up about her disastrous boob job at 29. And I mean really disastrous. Like, exploding boobs and a year-long open wound disastrous. She tells Heat Mag:

“When I woke up, they were so swollen. The first dressing was taken off after a week or so – that’s when I saw that I wasn’t healing.”

Barely able to move for the pain, Jodie starting bleeding as the stitches running up the underside of her breast to the nipple tore.

She said: “As the stitches started popping out of my skin, there was no skin to hold the incision together.

“My boobs looked like they were exploding. It was so painful. There was green pus coming out of my boobs and they constantly bled.” The Sun

By the description, her new boobs sound like they were hulking out. You know how Bruce Banner’s clothes tear apart at the seams when he transforms into the Hulk? I imagine Jodie’s bags of saline doing the same thing to her boob skin. Just expanding with anger. The Sun also put up a photo of Jodie’s botched breast job here if you want to be mildly disgusted.

Guess how Jodie Marsh celebrated her birthday yesterday on the 23rd. If you answered “without her dignity,” then ding ding ding, you’re the big winner!

Jodie Marsh has recently turned lesbian and is dating hairdresser Nina and since Nina has no ejaculate, she made a request for a sperm donor on Tim Shaw’s show on Absolute Radio. The Sun describes:

Her on-air antics included snogging her new girlfriend and sucking a banana – standard Marsh stuff, really.

Jodie said: “I’ve had loads of s**t men.

“I can see why women turn lesbian, because you get to the point where you’re sick of hearing so much f***ing bull***t, so you start to look elsewhere.”

Bless Jodie’s heart. Not enough girls these days turn to lesbianism for publicity. More women should follow her lead. A real hero this Jodie is. Can we give her a medal with “attention whore” engraved on it? I think she deserves it for all her hard work.

Oh and leave it up to Jodie to turn a simple Starbucks appearance into an hour full of sexual innuendo. Yea, yea. We get it. You miss facials. Go away now.

For some reason I always confuse Jodie Marsh with Katie Price. It could be because they both have/had big boobs, but it could also be because I don’t care about either of them, just their big boobs. Either way, the exciting news of the day is that they’re both fun to hang out with. Jodie more than Katie. Case in point. Here’s Jodie Marsh outside of Maya in SoHo checking out some guy’s penis and flashing her panties. Normal girls wouldn’t do this. They’re too hung up on dignity and being ladylike. I mean,you flash your penis to them one time and they’re all, “What’s the number for 911?!” So uptight.

Jodie Marsh is starring in a new MTV reality show called Marry Me Jodie Marsh where guys show up for a casting call and she finds one to marry or to stick it in her butt. I’m not clear on the specifics. I was too distracted by these promo pics. I don’t know how Bang Bus got a reality show on MTV, but it sounds like a winner.