When Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey divorced, there was no prenup which is how Nick walked away with $10 million of Jessica’s money. Now that Jessica is engaged, she’s set to make the same mistake because she’s a hopeless romantic. Or just an idiot.

Popeater says that while Jessica isn’t worried about her $100 million fortune, she’s lucky Papa Joe is looking out for his 10% cut her. Once the engagement excitement dies down, a source says Joe is going to do everything he can to make sure Eric Johnson doesn’t end up walking away with her money.

“At the moment, Joe is sitting back and being a great father, supporting his daughter and his future son-in-law,” a family friend tells me. “However, you can bet after all the excitement has died down, Joe is going to do everything in his power to make sure Jessica doesn’t walk down the aisle until Eric signs away any right he might have to Jessica’s enormous fortune.”

What about this unemployed ex-tight end who’s only famous now because he leeches off Jessica and who proposed after only 6 months of dating makes him seem so shady? Ulterior motives? Ha! Eric doesn’t even know the meaning of those words. Literally. Joe is totally overreacting

Joe Simpson used to be a reverend. Now he manages his two daughters, is creepy and crashes Super Bowl parties. No doubt all in the name of God. Joe was in Miami when he walked in on his ex-son-in-law Nick Lachey’s event at Hotel 944. Joe was overheard saying, “Nick doesn’t know I’m here!”

“I was so confused because I thought they hated each other,” the eyewitness tells OK!.

Joe had been rumored to be one of the reasons Nick and his daughter Jessica Simpson split in 2005.

The onlooker tells OK! Joe was staying at the Eden Roc, where Nick and girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo are also celebrating the Super Bowl.

Joe has a pretty sweet gig. He gets to crash parties without being thrown out and stare at Jessica’s ass during photo shoots. If it wasn’t for the fact that they were directly related, I’d say he has the most awesome life in the world. And if anyone tries to criticize him, all he has to say is he’s doing the lord’s work because apparently god is a big pervert.

A lot of people have criticized Jessica Simpson about her weight gain and you’re probably one of them. You should stop because according to Joe Simpson, “beauty starts within.” Also, if this were Uganda, Jessica would be the prettiest girl in the village. So shut up.

Jessica “becomes a Geisha in Japan,” Joe told Us. “In Uganda, we sat in a fattening hut because, in Uganda … fat is beautiful. So the bigger you are, the more beautiful you are. She was with a girl who had been in a hut preparing for her wedding for two months and 25 days on a 5,000 calorie-a-day diet.”

Don’t tell Britney Spears about this Uganda diet thing. You know how she is with fads and fast food. One slip of the tongue and she’ll likely be sitting with Jessica Simpson in a fat hut surrounded by Twinkies and McDonalds and talking about what a dumb bitch that Jenny Craig is.

Here’s Jessica celebrating Ashlee’s 25th birthday at the MGM.

Joe Simpson is attempting to revive Ashlee Simpson’s music career. Part of his master plan is to have Ashlee record an album of Michael Jackson covers. He’s already pitched this idea to execs.

It’s been a little over a week since Michael Jackson died. At least give it a month before butchering any of his music. At least then he’ll be settled and be able to roll over in his grave.

Does anyone else think Ashlee looks emaciated. You could spear a tiger with that chin.

Joe Simpson, the creepy obsessive dad of Jessica, thinks that Tony Romo is distracting Jessica from her career and wants her to break it off with him. Of course, this glances over the fact that no one wants to listen to Jessica’s dumb music or watch her equally dumb movies and puts the blame squarely on her boyfriend for her failing career.

Face it. The only way Jessica is going to be relevant again is if she bounces naked on a trampoline or she gets fat and then skinny again. Barring that, Joe’s out of luck. Anyway, he’s probably just mad Jessica brings Romo to her photo shoots instead of him. Those tits are really fantastic, you know. Especially when they “accidentally” slip out of her dress which oddly enough, happened all the time when Joe was there.

Ashlee Simpson celebrated her 24th birthday last Friday with a white-trash themed party at her home in Encino. Ashlee wore “Daisy Dukes and platform flip-flops with a bathing suit and a fake tattoo around her belly.” Which is pretty much Jamie Lynn Spears’ daily attire minus the tattoo. Ashlee’s dad, Joe, wore “a cut-off muscle T-shirt and a mullet wig.” Her sister Jessica, probably not realizing there was even a theme, showed off a lot of cleavage in a leopard print dress. The menu consisted of corn dogs, macaroni and cheese, chicken fingers and French fries. Security said they had to tase an overzealous Britney Spears before she ate everything.

Jeez. Why not just call this a Spears themed party. They can have party games like pin the condom on the penis and abort the baby. Then at the end they can lay waste to the rest of their lives by doing something stupid like having unprotected sex in a tractor or driving home drunk.

Inside Ashlee’s ‘White-Trash’ Birthday Bash [PEOPLE]

Us Magazine says Joe Simpson asked Tony Romo to drop his agent and let him handle his NFL career and $67.5 million contract. He even told Romo he would manufacture their engagement and wedding in order to sell it to magazines just like he did for Ashlee if him and Jessica ever decided to marry. Apparently, this wasn’t proper etiquette and offended Tony Romo’s sensibilities which was one of the reasons for the almost break-up. The other reason is Jessica drinks way too much. I don’t see how a hot chick with big boobs being really drunk is a problem, but okay. When Us asked Joe for comment, Joe said:

“It’s unfair to criticize me for what every manager does for his or her clients. And in this business, where people can quickly turn on you, who better than a parent to be working for his children?”

The one good thing to come from this is that when Jessica Simpson turns 40 and we find her living in a trailer park eating TV dinners, at least we’ll know where it all went wrong. Some celebrities don’t even have that comfort.

An old college buddy of Tony Romo told the Chicago Sun-Times that Tony’s breakup with Jessica Simpson was caused by a combination of not wanting to deal with the intense media scrutiny that comes with being Jessica’s boyfriend and being freaked out by Jessica’s dad Joe who started offering unsolicited career advice. Not mentioned is Tony feeling uncomfortable whenever Joe gave him his come hither eyes.

In addition, Romo’s friend said the talented QB has been put off by the intrusive style of Joe Simpson, who’s been ”not only telling Jessica every move to make, but now has begun to offer unsolicited advice to Tony on his career, endorsement opportunities and things that have nothing to do with him dating Jessica.”

Furthermore, Romo reportedly was very upset by Simpson’s interview in Glamour magazine where she referred to Romo as her ”future husband” and other on-the-record interviews she has given, saying she wants Romo to be the father to her children.

Furthermore, Us Weekly reports that even though Jessica and Tony are done, Joe is begging Tony to accompany Jessica tomorrow to Ashlee’s wedding. Romo seems to have relented and is flying into L.A. this weekend.

Meanwhile, Ashlee’s house is currently being set up with white tents for Saturday’s nuptials. Pete Wentz is said to be ecstatic with his choice of floral arrangements and has stated that the coconut wedding cake is “to die for.” Pete then merrily skipped away to double check the seating arrangements. What a gaywad.

Joe Simpson has already begun shopping around Ashlee Simpson’s baby photos. Papa Joe has been asking weeklies to spend $1 million to put Ashlee on the cover. Of course, the photos will be taken by Joe so he can scam more money out of his daughters. Included in the deal will be an interview and photos of the baby. The bad news for Joe is magazines don’t care about Ashlee.

One magazine editor said the pictures would fetch “$60,000 maybe – but definitely not a million. The timing is a little suspicious. Her album ['Bittersweet World'] is dropping next week, and there was little to no interest until now. Ashlee’s lucky she got pregnant, frankly.”

Joe should try the hard sell. Rip out Ashlee’s unborn fetus, put it in a baby blue bassinet and show the weeklies how beautiful it will be. If that doesn’t work, jam some sparklers in its malleable, undeveloped head and slingshot it over the conference room desk into the lap of one of the editors while blasting the National Anthem on a boom box. Then politely inform them they’re all a bunch of terrorists if they don’t think this is worth it. Trust me, they’ll empty their pockets faster than Ashlee’s going to empty her vagina in nine months. That doesn’t make a lot of sense, but… leave me alone.

A prerequisite for becoming a serious, respected, Oscar worthy actress is to go naked in a movie. That is Hollywood law. Jessica Simpson finally figured this out and is dead set in getting a role that requires full frontal nudity and, therefore, will “put her on the map.” Female First says,

“The only hitch is that the script requires a number of quite graphic scenes including a full-frontal nude scene. Jessica is so desperate to land the role and get the industry’s respect that she’s ready to go against her better judgement, and her family, by agreeing to bare all.”

Earlier this year, Jessica’s father Joe Simpson forced her to turn down a potentially Oscar-winning role as a porn star – insisting she keep her clothes on.

He said: “The last script that came to us was for Jessica to be a porn star. We were promised we would win an Oscar with that. I told them, ‘I think we’ll just buy a statue of a little man and keep our clothes on.’ “

Joe Simpson always seems so dirty when I read articles about him. That’s why his quote sounds insanely inappropriate. Who here thinks the “little man” Joe is referring to is his penis and that he’s going to dip it in gold and dress it up in a little tuxedo to give to Jessica Simpson? Anyone?

Aww, look. How cute. She’s already waving bye-bye to her career.

Joe, a Baptist preacher, isn’t too keen on Pete Wentz’s predilection for making out with men and has banned Ashlee Simpson’s boyfriend, Pete Wentz, from coming over for Christmas.

“Joe was skeptical about the relationship from the start,” an insider told Star magazine. “There is a rumour that Pete tried to commit suicide, but with the news of his possible bisexuality, Joe blew his top.” The news has not gone down well with Ashlee. “She is upset, but she values her dad’s opinions and has agreed.”

I wouldn’t let Pete come over for Christmas either. I don’t need some emo kid regaling the table with tales of slobbery makeout sessions with guys and then crying every time he opens a present. Aww, how sweet. You see beauty in this snow globe I gave you? How about this fist. This is pretty beautiful too, right? Here. Take a closer look.

Ashlee Simpson’s dad and boyfriend tag teamed a bouncer last night after said bouncer pushed Wentz into Ashlee. I tried making that sound as gay as possible. The altercation began when bouncers at Jet Nightclub did not allow his friend, Gym Class Heroes MC, Marc DeJesus, leave with them. Consequently, Pete went into bitch mode.

“What are you doing?” yelled Wentz, demanding that his crew be escorted to a waiting SUV. “This is my [bleeping] car! I paid for this [bleeping] car!”

After Pete’s body knocked Ashlee against the wall, the Fallout Boy attacked the bouncers. Joe Simpson came to Pete’s assistance and joined in on the melee. Joe said,

“When somebody messes with my baby, then it’s over!” Joe told us later, drawing his finger across his throat.

Oooo, scary. I hope I never run into these two in a dark alley. Imagining him and Pete Wentz trying to beat me up is like watching a kitten bite my finger. Probably not even that horrible because every 10 seconds Pete will have to take a break to reapply his mascara and Joe will try to look at Ashlee’s boobs.

Eva Longoria celebrated the 2nd Anniversary of the Pussycat Dolls Lounge wearing the same dress Hayden Panettiere wore weeks ago. That’s bad right? Biting a 17-year-old’s style? Also celebrating was Jessica Simpson’s creepy dad, Joe Simpson, seen here cavorting with Eva Longoria. Joe could be picking daisies from a field and it would give me the creeps. He’d probably use them to hide behind while he watches his daughter undress. He’ll be like one of those special ops guys behind fake bushes, only prettier. More pictures after the jump. Including some of Hayden.