A top Mafia expert tells Page Six that John Travolta’s Gotti movie will be “god-awful”. That doesn’t bode well for Lindsay Lohan’s comeback role.

“It has the potential of being a ‘Top 10’ movie, but I don’t think it will be,” said George Anastasia, co-author of “The Ultimate Book of Gangster Movies.”

The problem is the Gotti family’s involvement in “Gotti: In the Shadow of My Father” makes it into a “home movie” about their adored father, he said. Page Six

Though none of this matters because the movie is now on hold indefinitely due to financial issues, i.e., they don’t have money for it. Producer Marc Fiore has been using the old “money is coming from overseas” excuse on his actors. Probably from benevolent Japanese businessmen.

It does appear that the “Gotti: In the Shadow of My Father” has simply hit the wall. There’s no money to move forward, and producer Marc Fiore has not been able to raise the money he needs. Fiore has been telling various players in this saga that “money is coming from overseas,” etc. But so far it hasn’t arrived. All work has halted, although not much work has actually happened. It’s unlikely production could begin in January since almost nothing has been done yet viz a viz sets, costumes, or planning. Showbiz 411

On the bright side, Lindsay doesn’t have to come back from Paris where she’s working with Philipp Plein on his new collection. You hear that Lindsay? You DON’T have to COME BACK. Take all the time you need.

According to The National Enquirer, the sole reason Lindsay Lohan even has a part in Gotti: Three Generations is because John Travolta vouched for her and promised to take her under his wing. Not out of the goodness of his heart, mind you, but to convert her into a Scientologist. A task which shouldn’t be too hard to do considering Lindsay has the mental acumen of a 5-year-old.

An insider tells TNE that “He feels confident he’ll be able to keep her on the straight and narrow… now and forever.” Well doesn’t that sound ominous?

As a show of good faith for getting her a paying acting job, even if it wasn’t the part she wanted, Lindsay has agreed to attend a Church of Scientology induction course. “John introduced Lindsay to one of the church’s top counselors and – even though she’s been cast in a new role and won’t play the star’s daughter in the flick – she’s assured him she’ll still attend the series of induction classes that will make her a Scientologist.”

Hollywood has changed. It used to be the only thing you needed to do to get a role in a movie was take a ride on the casting couch. Now you have to join a damn cult. Ugh. Hollywood has become so degrading.

In news that will really help those gay rumors, Kirstie Alley enlisted John Travolta to help her with her routine on Dancing With the Stars. A string of accidents have caused her to be the center of attention on YouTube recaps so she brought in “The Dance Doctor” to clear the bad “juju”.

“Last week we survived, but I don’t want anyone to have any doubts: I’m in this to win this. I want to be the frontrunner!”
Before performing her raunchy foxtrot to Lenny Kravtiz’s ‘American Woman’ on the show last night (18.04.11), Kirstie admitted she was hoping to “create magic” following her visit from ‘The Dance Doctor’ John.
She joked: “Now that we’ve had a session with ‘The Dance Doctor’, the bad juju is gone and with this dance, we’re going to create magic.”
Earning a score of 23 out of a possible 30 for the routine, judge Carrie Ann Inaba praised the duo for their “bold, ambitious and borderline crazy” take on the foxtrot.
Carrie said: “That was a different take on a foxtrot, but it absolutely suited you. It was bold, it was ambitious, it was a little borderline crazy! You did it – it was magical and I think it was your best dance ever!”

Of course Kristie Alley said “juju”. She probably licked her lips afterward and said, “Mmmm, jujubes.” More importantly, why is John Travolta a dance doctor. Saturday Night Fever was 14 years ago. Since then, his biggest achievement was magically growing his hair back. This is like Jennifer Love Hewitt calling herself “The Love Doctor”.

Here’s Maksim dry humping Kirstie and Kirstie trying to cop a feel. Actually I don’t know what they’re doing but this made the most sense.

An inflight safety video introduced by John Travolta for Qantas Airways is getting flight attendants and pilots all huffy. They say Travolta’s 35 second appearance in the three and a half minute video is “corny” and “tacky.”

They are lobbying Qantas execs to reshoot the video using a “real pilot.” By which they mean, not a celebrity who flies private jets rather a normal person who flies commercial planes.

I really don’t think it matters. Passengers don’t care one way or another. They may get a little interested when they see Mr. Movie Star on screen but those headphones are going back in their ears when the flight safety portion starts to roll. Who pays attention to the safety instructions anyway? Not me. I live on the edge! Emergency oxygen? Ha! Don’t even know what that means.

Last year, Carrie Fisher participated in The Advocate’s monthly Can I Be Blunt? column where she said “We don’t really care that John Travolta is gay.” She’s back for The Advocate this month to promote her HBO special Wishful Drinking and once again claims that no one cares Johan Travolta is gay.

In the September 2009 issue of Out, you participated in its monthly Can I Be Blunt? column by sharing 10 things that gay men should know about straight women. One of those things was, “We don’t really care that John Travolta is gay.” I know you and Travolta go way back, so let’s get really blunt here: Does his legal team have any business demanding Gawker remove a recent post suggesting that he’s given blow jobs?
Wow! I mean, my feeling about John has always been that we know and we don’t care. Look, I’m sorry that he’s uncomfortable with it, and that’s all I can say. It only draws more attention to it when you make that kind of legal fuss. Just leave it be.

This is shocking. To no one. Hearing that John Travolta is gay is like hearing that Jessica Simpson gained some weight. Even though they don’t want to admit it, we all know it’s true but are tired of pointing it out because all they do is deny it and then seek comfort in the arms of a man. Or an ice cream sandwich.

According to PEOPLE, John Travolta and Kelly Preston welcomed an 8 lbs, 3 oz addition to their family named Benjamin on Tuesday in a Florida hospital. The baby supposedly silently slipped out of Kelly Preston’s womb like a ninja.

“John, Kelly and their daughter Ella Bleu are ecstatic and very happy about the newest member of the family,” they say in a statement. “Both mother and baby are healthy and doing beautifully.”

Now begins the one week timeout for the baby where no one will talk, make noise or medically test it. Um, that’s boring. So what can you do with this kid? Throw a football at him and hope he catches it?

Because they’re Scientologists and crazy, John Travolta and Kelly Preston will follow Scientology guidelines and have a “silent birth.”

“No music, no talking and no screaming will be allowed during the pains of labor. Also their new son cannot be prodded for medical tests or spoken to for the first seven days of his life. You don’t want to do anything that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.”

Preston told Redbook magazine a few years ago that she tried to follow the church’s guidelines during the birth of daughter Ella Bleu, but after 13 long hours of labor, she told her husband, “Throw me in the car. I want an epidural!” However, due to traffic, there was not enough time to get Kelly to the hospital.

“This time around, Kelly is determined to follow her church’s guidelines,” an insider tells me. “Everyone who will be present at the birth has been given clear instructions to not make a sound.”

Is Scientology punishing babies for being born by giving them a 7 day timeout? Because that’s something I can get behind. If you haven’t noticed, babies are assholes and need to be taught a lesson.

I have a theory for why John Travolta might be gay. His sperm is much too powerful. Star reports that Kelly Preston is pregnant with twin sons.

“They were ecstatic when they thought they were having just one baby,” an insider tells Star. “Now that there will be two, they can barely contain their happiness!”

Kelly, 47, began in vitro fertilization treatments, says the insider, which increases the chances of conceiving twins. Due this fall, Kelly is already busy preparing for the twins. Adds the insider, “She’s having the time of her life looking at all the cute little outfits and toys online!”

Imagine if John Travolta blasted every woman with his sperm without the help of in vitro. He’d be racking up triplets, sextuplets or quintuplets. Whenever Travolta had sex with a woman, it’d sound like a pinball machine in her vagina.

In 2009, John Travolta’s son, Jett, died. More recently, Travolta’s two dogs were killed at the Bangor International Airport when someone who wasn’t a member of his family walked them. While they were minding their own business, an airport service vehicle hit and killed them.

But, hey, at least there’s good news. Star Magazine says Travolta and Kelly Preston are three months pregnant with a “miracle baby.” “It’s impossible to keep a secret … especially one as wonderful as this,” the Travoltas wrote on their web site. “We are expecting a new addition to our family.”

Gosh, you think you know someone then bam! They put their penis into a woman casting doubt on their assumed homosexuality. The world just got a little more confusing.

John Travolta flew himself to Haiti by way of his personal jet with 4 tons of military rations and medical supplies to help the earthquake victims. Travolta also brought along real medical doctors and Scientology ministers at the ready with free e-meter readings. This is the second week Travolta has flown in supplies.

“I want to thank Qantas Airlines and (its chief executive) Alan Joyce. Alan is allowing me to fly the Boeing 707 that’s sitting in the backyard, fill it with supplies, fill it with doctors, fill it with volunteer ministers, and take it down to Haiti on Monday – so thank you, thank you, thank you,” said Travolta.

Gawker has an interesting rundown of how the Scientologists might be helping the victims in Haiti. My favorite is where they point to objects and tell the wounded to look at it. Apparently, that helps with, um, seeing if they know they’re on Earth? I don’t think this would work very well there though. Haiti is pretty much destroyed so the only things they can point to are things that remind them their life sucks. “See that child buried under the rubble?” “Thank you.” “See that collapsed building where you used to live?” “Good.” This “medical procedure” has a better chance at driving them to suicide than anything else.

After the death of his son, a paramedic tried to blackmail John Travolta with a document he signed which stated that he wanted his son to be transferred to Florida for treatment instead of at the local hospital in the Bahams. Laughably, it was irrelevant to the death of his son. Travolta has been testifying in this extortion trial for almost four weeks. A ruling was supposed to come down any minute, but a Bahamian judge declared a mistrial after the verdict was leaked. PEOPLE reports:

Senior Supreme Court Judge Anita Allen declared a mistrial because of juror misconduct following an announcement from a local politician that one of the defendants had been acquitted – before the jurors came back with their verdict. Allen ordered a retrial, but did it remains unclear when, if ever, the case will be retried.

“This came out of the clear blue; this was so weird,” Mike Ossi, one of Travolta’s Florida lawyers told PEOPLE.

A retrial was ordered and John will have to testify again. But this time, probably with more fist pounding on tables and “order in the courts”. At least I hope so. I like all my celebrity trials to be filled with shocking revelations.

[Nassau, Bahamas, September 23. Image via Splash News]

Recent reports surfaced that two people are in custody for allegedly trying to extort money out of John Travolta and Kelly Preston. How exactly they were attempting to do it was a mystery. Until now.

According to The Daily Mail, a local politician from Grand Bahama where Jett Travolta died and a person thought to be connected with the ambulance service, demanded “millions of dollars” from John and Kelly in exchange for a picture they took of their son dying. If they didn’t follow through, they’d “sell the photo to the highest bidder.”

Out of all the things you could do, that’s one of the worst. Who goes around taking pictures of dead celebrity kids? Hot dead chicks with big tits I can maybe understand, but this is ridiculous. They should have also threatened to go to Jett’s funeral and rabbit punch him in the nads if they didn’t pay up. If you’re going to be doing something that awful, you might as well go all the way.

Update: TMZ says people tried to extort $20 million from Travolta and that a picture of a dying Jett may not be their bargaining chip although it does have something to do with the circumstances around his death. Us adds that there is only one person involved.

John Travolta and Kelly Preston may be still dealing with the fact that their son, Jett, died from a “seizure disorder,” but that hasn’t stopped two individuals from launching an extortion scheme against them. A Bahamian newspaper reported on Monday that two people are being questioned, one believed to be a politician, about a plot to fleece the grieving couple. Travolta’s lawyers issued this statement:

“Regrettably in a time of such terrible grief, there are often a few individuals who attempt to make false claims in hopes of making millions of dollars,” their statement read, according to the Jacksonville Florida Times-Union. “We will never let that happen.”

They probably took secret photos of Travolta doing things like prancing around in a speedo and having his male nanny apply sunscreen to his body at night. Well, guess what Mr. Criminal Masterminds. Everyone knows Travolta is gay. You fools!