Johnny Depp painted his face white and put a bird on his head to play Tonto in The Lone Ranger. He based the look off a painting done by Kirby Sattler who isn’t a Native American or a historian and who purposely paints subjects not part of any specific tribe. Not only that but in the painting, the bird is flying behind the subject. In Johny Depp’s version, he decided the bird would be better suited as a hat.

Naturally, a few people got offended but now they’re not allowed to be because the Comanche Indian tribe, which Tonto is supposed to be a part of, has formally adopted Johnny Depp. They probably just heard Johnny Depp and called a group meeting to figure out how to milk some publicity out of this.

Last week, Depp was formally adopted by the Comanche Indian tribe, a New Mexico-based group of Indians to which Depp’s Tonto belongs. LaDonna Harris, a Comanche and president of Americans for Indian Opportunity, heard about his film role and invited him to join the tribe.

“I reached out, and Johnny was very receptive to the idea,” she told the website Indian Country. He seemed proud to receive the invitation, and we were honored that he so enthusiastically agreed.”

The ceremony took place at Harris’s home, and Depp gave gifts to the attendees, as per tradition.

“Welcoming Johnny into the family in the traditional way was so fitting,” Harris said. “He’s a very thoughtful human being, and throughout his life and career, he has exhibited traits that are aligned with the values and worldview that Indigenous peoples share.” THR

Johnny Depp lucked out because this is the equivalent of saying “I’m not racist against Native Americans, some of my best friends are Native American.” But in this case, the best friends are his adopted family who are using him for publicity.

Ashley Olsen recently quit acting so what better way to spend her free time than banging Johnny Depp. The bastion of investigative reporting, In Touch, claims Depp was seen sneaking out of Ashley Olsen’s apartment through an attached office building after a sleepover. Hopefully they had pillow fights and ice cream because those are the best kinds sleepovers.

It turns out the star, 48, was secretly leaving 23-years younger Ashley’s loft after a sneak slumber party. Arriving in the afternoon of February 26, Johnny hunkered down in Ashley’s Tribeca digs until noon the next day — nearly 24 hours later. “It was quiet in her apartment, like it was just the two of them in there,” an insider recalls, and though no one outside can know what happened, “It didn’t seem like it was just a visit between friends.”

Whatever the twosome were up to during their overnighter, it certainly left Johnny exhausted. When the star finally left the next day, “he looked like he was out of it,” an onlooker said. In Touch

Oh, wait. I think In Touch is implying they Ashley Olsen f**ked his brains out. Well, that’s cool too. But I wonder what Vanessa Paradis will say about this considering she still thinks they’re together. I have a sneaking suspicion she won’t be celebrating the news with high fives and fist bumps.

Here’s your first look at Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer as Tonto and the Lone Ranger in the troubled Gore Verbinski production of The Lone Ranger courtesy of the Bruckheimer. The movie shut down in August due to the rising budget but was brought back to life after Jerry Bruckheimer and Verbinski managed to get the budget down to around $215 million. Anyway, guess whether or not Johnny Depp looks ridiculous just for the sake of looking ridiculous. I’ll wait.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. It looks like they just Indian-ified (technical term) Johnny’s Pirates of the Caribbean costume. Actually, all they did was paint his face with white warpaint and put a crow on his head. The costume designer probably had to cut out early that day because of a raging hangover. You can tell Johnny is looking at Armie Hammer like, “Why the f**k do I look like an idiot and you look like a kick-ass Old Western Green Hornet?”

That is if you believe Vanessa Paradis. Recent reports claimed Johnny Depp and Vanessa were splitting. Now Vanessa is flat out denying the rumors.

Making the publicity rounds for her new movie, Café de Flore, Paradis offered a clear statement to French television program Grand Journal on the subject after giving a vague response to the U.K.’s Daily Mail.

“Yes it’s false! Of course it’s false!” the 39-year-old singer-actress said when pressed about reports she had split with Depp, 48. E! Online

Depp has yet to confirm or deny any rumors and why should he. It makes having sex with other women much harder. Right now he can just say, “You hear those rumors of me and Vanessa splitting?,” and leave it at that.

PEOPLE’s title “Johnny Depp & Vanessa Paradis Living ‘Sad’ Separate Lives” sounds like the death knell for Johnny and Vanessa’s relationship. They haven’t been seen on the red carpet together for over a year and sources say they don’t even live together. Some in their circle say after 14 years, they’ve already split. “It’s so sad,” says an insider.

Usually PEOPLE has a good track record with rumors because they’re always kissing celebrity ass. Not like me. Whenever I ask for comment, the person on the other line goes “ksscchhh… breaking up… kscchhhh… can’t hear you.” At first, I thought it was just bad reception, but after the sixth time, I’m starting to wonder.

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis’ relationship is getting rocky reports Radar. Sources close to Johnny say he “isn’t handling anything well right now. People around him are worried about how Johnny is doing because he and Vanessa seem so fractured right now. Their relationship is heading toward the end.”

The source goes on, “Johnny has started reaching out to lawyers, probably to quietly discuss how to get out of the relationship. They’re not married but they’ve been together for years and have kids together so it isn’t as easy as just breaking up. Johhny is so talented at acting, but he doesn’t seem able to hide how badly things are going right now.”

Wow. This source is really talking him up. The source probably wants this relationship to end so they can move in. When Radar asked the source, “If you like Johnny so much, why don’t you marry him, huh?,” the source said, “Whaddya think I’m tryin’ to do here?!”

Johnny Depp dined at 25 Degrees in Hollywood Saturday night and barely made it out the door before someone snuggled him to the ground. What a clever way to cop a feel but you can’t force romance, buddy!

Of course, the photog had to be all dramatic and scream, “You dropped Johnny!,” over and over as if Johnny Depp was just KO’d. Unfazed, Johnny got up and kept signing autographs.

Then he went to his SUV and made a strange gesture. He put one hand on his arm, made a fist and stuck that arm straight out. I think he was doing a modified Black Panther power salute. Yes, Johnny. *Lowers head, sticks fist in air* Power to the people!

In an excerpt released from an upcoming Vanity Fair interview, Johnny Depp compared doing photo shoots to being raped. Someone somewhere must have shaken their jowls in shocked disbelief because he’s now apologized for the comment.

“I am truly sorry for offending anyone in any way. I never meant to. It was a poor choice of words on my part in an effort to explain a feeling,” Depp said in the statement. “I understand there is no comparison and I am very regretful. In an effort to correct my lack of judgment, please accept my heartfelt apology.” HuffPo Celeb

Everyone loves Johnny Depp. He could have gotten away with saying he wasn’t referring to rape rape and if that didn’t work, he could have personally gone up to critics, looked them in the eyes and said, “I’m sorry.” There’s a 100% chance they’d be speechless, turn red, fall in love and faint. That is, only if his expression isn’t like it is in the header pic because then the appropriate reaction would be to call the police to warn them about a possible stabbing.

Johnny Depp tells Nick Tosches in Vanity Fair that he’ll take the ridiculous bags of money people throw at him but that doesn’t mean he has to like it.

“Basically, if they’re going to pay me the stupid money right now, I’m going to take it,” he says in Vanity Fair’s November issue. “I have to. I mean, it’s not for me. Do you know what I mean? At this point, it’s for my kids. It’s ridiculous, yeah, yeah. But ultimately is it for me? No. No. It’s for the kids.” Vanity Fair

He hates the fame that comes along with it so much that he feels as if he’s being raped every time he does a photo shoot.

“Well, you just feel like you’re being raped somehow. Raped … It feels like a kind of weird — just weird, man.” He’ll pose with fans, “But whenever you have a photo shoot or something like that, it’s like — you just feel dumb. It’s just so stupid.” Page Six

Is Johnny Depp partial to exaggeration? Well, yea, of course. He’s an actor. They all have a flair for the dramatic. He makes this sound like Sophie’s choice though. I’m not saying he has to like the publicity that comes with the $300 million for pretending to be a gay pirate, but at least be a little grateful. I mean, that homeless guy across the street has been pretending to be a gay pirate for close to a decade and he still lives in a cardboard penis-shaped pirate ship.

Johnny Depp made $350 million off of the entire Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Naturally, he’s close to signing a deal to reprise his role as Captain Jack Sparrow in a fifth installment. Jerry Bruckheimer is currently working on the script which I take it means he’s tenting his fingers and exclaiming “egggcellent” while watching his team of trained monkeys type away.

Another individual close to the franchise said that a rough draft for the script was in, and that producer Bruckheimer and others were meeting intensively – three and four times a week – on improving it. A deal will depend on whether Depp likes the script, but this individual said the broad strokes were in place for a deal with the lead actor. [The Wrap]

Do you think Johnny Depp asks to be paid in singles for the $350 million and then throws it all in his pool and swims in it? Because that’s what I’d do. But I’d make sure to swim in it while my gardener skims the leaves. Like Michael Bay always says, what fun is being insanely rich if you can’t be a big asshole about it?

What the hell was a Best Picture nomination for The Tourist all about? Even Johnny Depp admitted that movie was a pile of trash. Not exactly. When asked if he could go back in time, Depp said he wouldn’t change a thing about The Tourist. But, he then implied that he was aware the movie didn’t turn out as expected. “I wanted to work with Angelina and I felt like I had a good handle on the character. It was not a character that I’d really played before. I don’t know the main ingredient of success at the box office. I just feel that’s not something I can do anything about.”

Lucky for Paul Giamatti Johnny was nominated because he split the vote to give him the win for Best Actor in a Comedy.

This was supposed to be about Johnny Depp at the Globes but somehow turned into a post celebrating Paul Giamatti. Coincidentally, exactly what happened Sunday night.

Johnny Depp kept his distance from Angelina Jolie the entire time during filming of The Tourist so there wouldn’t be any rumors that they were carrying on an affair. He probably should done the same with Kristen Stephenson-Pino on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

In the new issue of Star via Popeater, Kristen (Model Mayhem page here) was hired as a breast model by the wardrobe department for the mermaid costumes used in the film. She claims Depp was enamored with her, telling her she was “exquisite” and “you’re by far the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” Then he invited her back to his trailer. “It was one-on-one. I was in there for a few hours, and that’s, like, everyone’s ideal lover boy. He’s just the whole package!”

Depp was so into her, allegedly, that he would eagerly watch her undress and even watched them do the molds of her breasts. Which sounds kind of creepy.

She even flirted heavily with him which her current boyfriend, pro surfer Torrey Meister, might take exception to. “I was like, ‘I’ll take you and Orlando Bloom! That’s the only way you can get me,’” she says. “He starts laughing and goes, ‘Honey, no, no, no, no. I don’t share with anybody. You either get me or me, and that’s it.’” Yea, word. Who wants to cross swords with that guy?

Even after she flew back to LA, Kristen alleges Depp would try to get the studio to fly her out to the set. “Johnny’s motivations were more than clear! He wanted her with him,” says a source.

Hollywood is full of debauchery so who knows whether this happened or not but if this were me and I heard some chick was hired because she had the perfect breasts for the job, I’d be sitting front and center with a bag of popcorn, pants-less while her breasts were molded. You can’t expect me to work for $20 million without a few perks, right?

Johnny Depp is in the January issue of Vanity Fair and talks about how he avoided any rumors of an Angelina Jolie hook-up and Disney’s worry over his gay Captain Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean. From Popeater:

On meeting Angelina: “Meeting her and getting to know her was a real pleasant surprise,” Depp reveals about Jolie, his co-star in ‘The Tourist.’ “You don’t know what she might be like–if she has any sense of humor at all. I was so pleased to find that she is incredibly normal, and has a wonderfully kind of dark, perverse sense of humor.”

On avoiding the paparazzi while filming with Jolie: “[Always] having to hide, sometimes not even being able to talk to each other in public because someone will take a photograph and it will be misconstrued and turned into some other sh–.”

On Disney executives not liking his interpretation of Captain Sparrow: “They couldn’t stand him. They just couldn’t stand him. I think it was Michael Eisner, the head of Disney at the time, who was quoted as saying, ‘He’s ruining the movie.’

“Upper-echelon Disney-ites, going, What’s wrong with him? Is he, you know, like some kind of weird simpleton? Is he drunk? By the way, is he gay?… And so I actually told this woman who was the Disney-ite… ‘But didn’t you know that all my characters are gay?’ Which really made her nervous.”

A good way to worry any Disney executive is to tell them your character is the furthest thing from a straight white male. In fact, not only is your character gay, but he’s also a tranny dressed in blackface. Before you even started putting shoe polish on your face, the Disney exec would have already have shaken their jowls and had a heart attack.