Answering a 999 call, paramedics showed up at Tudors star Jonathan Rhys Meyer’s house to find him slumped on the floor. They called the cops after he refused treatment at the scene for 30 minutes. According to a source, everyone there determined he tried to commit suicide. Whatever. Maybe he just likes to party. Woooo!

Meyers was taken to a hospital near his house in Maida Vale, Central London and was discharged yesterday. Asked about his health, Meyers told The Sun: “No comment.”

In America, he’d have been put on suicide watch and given a psych evaluation. But not in London. Over there they just asked him if he was going to do it again. No? Then see you later, loser. Their exact words.

Update: There may be a reason Meyers wasn’t put on suicide watch. It’s because it wasn’t a suicide attempt, so reports THR. They say he just relapsed. So, I was right. This guy just likes to party.

Apparently getting banned from a United Airlines flight after getting drunk before 7 AM and protesting by shouting “nigger” at everyone in early May was a wake up call for Jonathan Rhys Meyers. He realized that if he didn’t pretend to get help, people would forever think he’s a drunk racist. Which is why he returned to rehab. His first trip to rehab was back in 2007.

I have news for Rhys Meyers. Everyone thought he was a drunk before and they were fine with that. He sort of crossed the line when he started throwing the “N” word at everyone. That’s something you never do. In public.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers was held by French police Saturday afternoon for drunkenly assaulting an airport lounge employee. He punched a waiter at Charles De Gaulle Airport in Paris because the cafe he was at “Le Quotidien” refused to serve him any more alcohol. PEOPLE details:

A shouting match developed between Rhys Meyers and the bar manager. Then when another bar employee tried to separate the pair, Rhys Meyers swung and punched the intervening waiter.

Police handcuffed the actor when placing him in custody, and sources tell PEOPLE that the actor remained in a sober lock-up area for three hours before being released.

Meyers will have to go to court in September for “voluntary violence, contempt, issuing death threats and assault.” Voluntary violence. That’s a new one. Is there an involuntary violence charge? Maybe he should be hit with that. No way his arms voluntarily swung in that drunken stupor. Just like there’s no way I voluntarily slipped that roofie in that girl’s drink. It was a muscle spasm. I swear.

[The Raisa Gorbachev Foundation Fourth Annual Fundraising Gala at Stud House, Hampton Court in London, UK. Image: Splash News]