The PTC is going after TLC’s Toddlers & Tiaras after they showed a 3-year-old dressed as Julia Roberts’ hooker character from Pretty Woman.

“We have a serious problem when The Learning Channel* features a toddler, who probably hasn’t even learned to read, dressed as a prostitute showing off her sexy strut,” says Melissa Henson, director of communications and public education for the PTC: “There’s no question, TV executives are complicit in robbing these small kids of their childhood. For years we’ve seen adult sexuality being inappropriately and aggressively foisted on innocent young children, but children today are being sexualized at younger and younger ages.” — EW

As if it wasn’t bad enough you dressed your kid up as Julia Roberts…

“Well, at this pageant there was an option to do celebrity-wear,” Dickey says. “And we thought about what we could wear with her being a brunette and Julia Roberts is my favorite actress of all time. I thought it was real cute to do Julia. She’s 3, if she was 10 I never would have considered this. But as young as she is I thought it was very comical.”

Yea, if this kid was 10, she’d look like a regular old tarted up whore. Plus, who doesn’t love a baby hooker?

Here’s Julia Roberts and her husband Danny Moder at the beach in Kauai, Hawaii. Everybody always tells me how beautiful Julia Roberts is and how Pretty Woman is such a great movie. I always shake my head and then punch them in the mouth if they keep insisting. Now I can avoid those police reports and just shove these pictures in their faces. “Where’s your god now?!,” I’ll probably yell at them.

When you choose a face for your product line, it’s always best to find a celebrity who doesn’t need an elite unit of the world’s top Photoshoppers to be assembled. L’Oréal would have been wise to follow that rule of thumb because they’re now forced to pull their ad campaigns featuring Julia Roberts and Christy Turlington. This after complaints made by Liberal Democrat MP Jo Swinson who called the ads “fake and gay.”

Actually, Swinson said the images of the two celebrities have been so digitally manipulated that they were “not representative of the results the product could achieve.”

Swinson, who has waged a long-running campaign against “overly perfected and unrealistic images” of women in adverts, lodged complaints with the Advertising Standards Authority about the magazine campaigns for L’Oréal-owned brands Lancôme and Maybelline. The ASA ruled that both ads breached the advertising standards code for exaggeration and being misleading and banned them from future publication.

L’Oréal’s two-page ad featuring Roberts, who is the face of Lancôme, promoted a foundation called Teint Miracle, which it claims creates a “natural light” that emanates from beautiful skin. It was shot by renowned fashion photographer Mario Testino. The ad for Maybelline featured Turlington promoting a foundation called The Eraser, which is claimed to be an “anti-ageing” product. In the ad, parts of Turlington’s face are shown covered by the foundation while other parts are not, in order to show the effects of the product. [The Guardian]

L’Oréal admitted to altering the pictures in post-production but argued the changes were not “directly relevant” and that the ad was an “aspirational picture.” They then argued that the two were naturally beautiful and gave the ASA (Advertising Standards Authority) pictures of the women on the red carpet as proof.

L’Oréal wouldn’t provide the pre-production photos of Julia Roberts because of contractual agreements. And because she looked like hell in those. Whatever the case, the red carpet photos are no doubt just as good. It’s not like they went through hours of hair and makeup beforehand or anything.

On Monday, Julia Roberts went off on a photog who was snapping shots of her family walking around in LA. Julia didn’t take kindly to the fact that he was taking pictures of her husband, Danny Moder, and children, Hazel Patricia Moder, Phinnaeus “Finn” Walter Moder and Henry Daniel Moder.

While the usually affable Roberts has clearly shown she is happy to talk to the media — whether it be on the red carpet or in press junkets for her films — when it comes to her children, she has made it clear they are off-limits.

In 2007, she famously chased a paparazzo in her car — wildly honking her horn at him — until he pulled over. The usually zen Eat Pray Love star then chewed him out. As she told him to shut off his camera, she said: “I want to talk to you about the fact that you’re at a school where children go. Turn it off!” (See video of the incident below.)

In January, 2009, Roberts had a similiar confrontation with another photographer. In this incident, she was once again caught on camera swearing and ranting at a paparazzo who she claims had been following her all day. The incident happened after she picked up her two children from a New Mexico school.

You’re not allowed to describe someone as “usually affable” if you can run down a list of other times they’ve  done similar things and every other story about them is how they were a bitch. “Sometimes affable but usually an asshat” would be a more fitting description.

Julia Roberts is an intolerable diva. There’s more than enough rumors floating around to show that she’s difficult to work with and has ridiculous demands. She exaggerates her importance. On top of that, she’s not even attractive or that relevant but that didn’t stop Italian coffee company Lavazza from paying her $1.5 million to film a 45-second ad.

She doesn’t even say anything in the commercial. She just throws an espresso down her horse mouth on a platform of clouds. Lavazza could have saved money by putting makeup on an actual horse, spreading peanut butter in its mouth and throwing a cup of hot coffee at its face. The end result would have been just as horrific and confusing.

It’s a widely known fact that Julia Roberts is an entitled bitch who lives in a little Hollywood bubble only coming out when she absolutely has to and when that unpleasant experience ends, she’ll Purell herself before she retreats back to her fame cave. Consequently, this report that Julia segregated herself from the lesser people at the after party for her new film, Eat Pray Love, isn’t surprising in the least.

Showbiz says Julia had her own private party upstairs in a room blocked by bodyguards during the after party for the movie. Only famous people like Julian Schnabel, Josh Brolin and Eddie Vedder were allowed in. One of the people not invited was Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the book the film was adapted from. Elizabeth was kept far away in the main room so she wouldn’t infect Julia with her normalcy.

It was quite a scene watching various people trying to get past the guards and into the room. Former New York Times movie reviewer Elvis Mitchell was turned away, but eventually gained entry. Two young women had to send someone in to find actor co-star Billy Crudup, who finally came out to say hello. The movie’s main producer left his family outside the party and kept running in and out to be with them.

The most glaring snub: Elizabeth Gilbert, the best selling author of “Eat Pray Love” was left way downstairs and far away from Roberts’ soiree, with her own guests.

Roberts did spend about five minutes in the main party room. But as she and her posse–including husband Danny Moder–were hurried out and away from the dreadful real people, Roberts said, to no one in particular, “That’s so tacky.” A lot of the real people heard her say it.

There’s no reason Julia Roberts should be paid this much money to star in anything. The last good movie she was in was Ocean’s Eleven back in 2001 and it wasn’t like she was the one who made the movie. She’s not even attractive either so I don’t know why people are always praising her for her beauty. So it makes no sense why her price tag is so high. She would only be paid in salt licks if I had my way.

Here she is in a pair of shorts at the premiere of Eat Pray Love.

Julia Roberts gave an interview to Star Magazine this week to promote her new movie Eat, Pray, Love and had some insight about men to give women. That being, “men don’t care what a woman looks like naked.” You can take from this that Julia Roberts is delusional and is an annoying know-it-all bitch. From Star via Celebitchy:

Do you agree with your character, who says how you look naked doesn’t mean anything?
Absolutely. Men don’t care what a woman looks like naked. It’s more about, ‘There’s a naked woman here with me.’ And anyway, that’s what dimmer switches were made for!

Right. Because there’s absolutely no difference between a naked Megan Fox and, say, a naked Mo’Nique. One is a hot chick with a tight body and perfect tits and the other is a hairy disfigured lump of Play-Doh. They’re practically the same when you turn down the lights!

Julia Roberts got some self-serve yogurt at Yogurt Stop in West Hollywood last Sunday and pretty much turned the place upside down. She came in alone and everyone was in disbelief as Julia served herself some mango yogurt. That’s not the ridiculous part though. This is.

“The second she left, a man burst into tears and then bought mango just like Julia had,” said a source. “Then he fished her napkin out of the trash.”

Jesus. Did he jack off in the napkin too? What a god damn weirdo. The only thing that’d be running through my head is whether or not this was the famous Mr. Ed.

Julia Roberts burst out onto the scene with Pretty Woman in 1990. Since then it seems like she’s been riding that one achievement. Her films don’t do too badly, but they’ve all been pretty mediocre and appealed mostly to weepy women like Jennifer Aniston. Except for a few like Ocean’s 11. But that was more about Brad Pitt and George Clooney than her.

Consequently because of her name alone, New Line Cinema paid her $3 million up front for Valentine’s Day for her six minutes of screen time. Vulture did the division and calculated it to be $8,333 per second of screen time or $500,000 a minute. A minimum of $11,952 per spoken word.

Insiders tell us that Roberts agreed to appear in the film as a favor to Marshall, who’d made her a star. After Roberts jumped in, casting the rest of the film was much easier, and Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Garner, Ashton Kutcher, Taylors Lautner and Swift, McSteamy and McDreamy et al signed on quickly. However, with the exception of Jamie Foxx (who we hear is a gross participant along with Marshall and Roberts), her co-stars were paid their usual quote, pro-rated to however many days they filmed. Since most, like Roberts, only worked three days or so, it seemed a fair and painless commitment, and New Line was able to make the film with a cavalcade of celebs for only $50 million. Now get going.

ONLY $50 million? For a film that’ll probably suck? For guys anyway. Julia Roberts reminds me of a braying mule yet seems to wield so much power. Hollywood doesn’t make sense. They tell us that women don’t have to have much talent to make it as long as they look like Megan Fox and then they shove Julia Roberts down our throats. That’s like stumbling upon a village of big breasted models and finding out their queen is Madonna.

[LA, February 8. Images via Fame.]

NBC is the new whipping boy with this Jay Leno/Conan O’Brien thing. Everyone is making fun of them, even “big shot” celebrities like Julia Roberts. Here she is at the Globes on the red carpet with hard-hitting reporter, Billy Bush. After she gave a shout out to Michelle Obama minus the Arsenio Hall fist pump (tsk tsk), she told Billy that “NBC, you guys are in the toilet!” Billy regained composure quickly and reminded Julia that she turned down Sandra Bullock’s role in the much talked about and award nominated Blind Side. Rawr. Cat fight. Julia got the last word in though. When Billy cut back to Natalie, Julia asked who “Natalie” was. Point: Julia.

I hope Julia made Billy cry. That would be the best part about being a celebrity. Giving interviewers such a hard time that they have a mental breakdown. I’d keep a tally of how many I managed to break on my wall. But, I wouldn’t count Billy. Too easy. It’d be like making a baby cry.

Here’s Julia Roberts in a bikini filming scenes for Eat, Pray, Love. Some of you, those who love Pretty Woman, rainbows and being gay, may find this sexy. Others may wonder how they got a horse into a bikini. Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy.

Julia Roberts honored Tom Hanks at the Film Society of Lincoln Center event by saying “fuck” a lot of times and bemoaning his recent string of confusing movies. Good times.

“Alright well, it’s late and I’m paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee,” she began. “So Tom, everybody fucking likes you. All my bits are gone. Listen, I had lunch today with Rita [Wilson, Hanks' wife], and her tits were here [motioned high] and her waist was here [motioned small] and her ass was like that [motioned high], so what can I tell you that’s new? Tom Hanks, what the fuck?”

She then went on to say she’s seen most of Hanks’ films except That Thing (You Do). I love the Cohen brothers, but the hair Tom [in 2004's Ladykillers], I didn’t even know what the fuck that movie was about!” Of 2004′s The Terminal, she cracked, “You in the airport with the accent? It was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn’t know. I love you, and I didn’t know what to do, really. God, I’m wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist!”

“Listen, I’ve got to get home. But this much we know … I will say this: Tom Hanks, I love you.”

This is like the speech my ex-girlfriend gave at my graduation dinner. Except, instead of ending with “I love you,” it ended with her shoving a two month old baby in my face and telling me “you’re a daddy” and instead of me laughing, I ran away to Florida and changed my name.

Now with video thanks to PopEater:

[Us]

Julia Roberts went to the premiere of Duplicity and when asked if she would ever do a nude scene, Roberts replied:

‘You know it’s not really what I do, so if you are going ask me to do it, you have to expect it to be toned down. You know, as a mum of three, I feel like that.’

People could interpret this as a backhanded way of insulting Kate Winslet, mother of two and Oscar winner, who went naked in The Reader. Hopefully there’ll be some sort of showdown. I’ve always wanted to see who would win in a fight between horse and woman. My money is on the kicking power of Julia Roberts. Then again, all Kate has to do is dangle a carrot in front of her. Tough choice.