The Blemish » justin bieber Better than a slap to the face Thu, 18 Sep 2014 18:54:54 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Justin Bieber Confirms He’s Dating Selena Gomez in a Deposition Fri, 12 Sep 2014 20:28:37 +0000 To the two of you that care, in his latest deposition, Justin Bieber admitted that he and Selena Gomez are dating again.

A source tells E! News the rest of Bieber’s latest deposition was pretty “uneventful,” but that he was very well-behaved.

There’s nothing left to say. You brought this on yourself, little missy. Don’t come crawling back when he dumps you for some model he wants to bang. I won’t be here to comfort you. Unless you want to have sex. In which case, I’ll comfort you for the best 10 seconds of your life.

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Justin Bieber Stripped to His Underwear at Fashion Rocks Wed, 10 Sep 2014 16:50:49 +0000 Swaggy douchebag Justin Bieber stripped down to his Calvin Klein briefs at Fashion Rocks on Tuesday. He made the impromptu decision because everyone started booing him while he introduced Rita Ora.

You’d think that’d be the story here, but no, it’s actually this video of a girl recording Bieber stripping on her tv and screaming as her camera zooms in on his crotch. Both my eardrums may be pierced.

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Justin Bieber Faces Assault Charge in Canada for ATV Crash Tue, 02 Sep 2014 18:31:50 +0000 Justin Bieber ran his ATV into a minivan in Ontario last Friday which ended with him and the other guy getting physical. Let’s just take that to mean there was a lot of shoving because the day Justin actually throws a punch is the day he’s surrounded by about 10 bodyguards.

“The driver of the ATV and an occupant of the minivan engaged in a physical altercation,” according to a police news release.

Bieber turned himself in and was charged on Monday with dangerous driving and assault. The other party, a photog, was not charged. Bieber’s lawyer said:

“Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez’ peaceful retreat in Stratford this weekend was unfortunately disrupted by the unwelcome presence of paparazzi,” the statement said.

“This has regrettably resulted in charges of dangerous driving and assault. Mr. Bieber and Ms. Gomez have fully co-operated in the police investigation. We are hopeful that this matter will be quickly resolved.”

Many would say to not be too quick to blame Bieber, but have you seen that guy? Huge douche. The day I give this kid the benefit of the doubt is the day I read a story about him loving to wear women’s heels during sex.

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Justin Bieber Brake Checks a Photog, Causes Accident Wed, 27 Aug 2014 18:12:48 +0000 Justin Bieber was driving his Ferrari in West Hollywood Tuesday when he saw a photog following him in a Prius. Since he’s a giant asshat, he did a brake check causing the photog to crash into him. The Ferrari suffered a few scratches and the Prius was still a Prius. And since Bieber is also huge douchebag along with being an asshat, he compared his situation to that of Princess Diana’s.

Jesus christ. I’m not sure how this kid hasn’t been punched in the face yet. If I stood next to this twink, my fist would experience a gravitational pull to his face far greater than the one between the Earth and the moon.

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Justin Bieber Tried to Take Someone’s Phone to Delete Photos of Himself Tue, 26 Aug 2014 18:32:33 +0000 Cops are investigating Justin Bieber for attempted robbery, attempted battery and attempted theft. This after Bieber tried to grab a guy’s cell to delete the pictures he took.

Justin and Selena were at Dave & Buster’s Monday night when a fan snapped photos of the two. Since he’s a big asshat, Justin lunged at him to take his phone. But, much like a mother lion does to her cub who doesn’t know any better, Justin’s security held him back before making any contact with the fan.

Police were called but Justin left by the time they arrived.

Bieber is currently on probation for egging his neighbor’s house so this could trigger a probation violation which would mean jail which would make a certain someone very happy. That certain someone is all of us, by the way.

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Suge Knight Shot 6 Times, Shooter May Have Been Targeting Chris Brown and Justin Bieber Sun, 24 Aug 2014 18:56:02 +0000 During a pre-VMA party hosted by Chris Brown at 1Oak, an unknown assailant attempted to shoot Chris Brown and, possibly, Justin Bieber but ended up hitting Suge Knight 6 times instead. It happened at around 1:30 am on Sunday while celebs were all partying inside the club. Because Suge has more street cred than anyone in there combined, he managed to walk out under his own accord. A cop saw him, and walked him to the police car where he waited for an ambulance. He’s now out of surgery and recovering in the ICU.

Two others were also injured, a 32-year-old male and a 19-year-old female. Which is weird since I thought 19 was under 21. Maybe I’m just not good at math.

Chris Brown then tweeted a social commentary about how society can’t have fun or enjoy themselves without causing trouble.

He does remember he punched Rihanna in the face a bunch of times, punched another guy in the face, and threw a chair through a window, right? Okay, just wanted to make sure.

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Justin Bieber Does the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Without Ice Mon, 18 Aug 2014 00:48:44 +0000 If Justin Bieber wants people’s perception of him (that of a whiny douchebag) to change, then it would behoove him to not fake the ALS Ice Bucket challenge.

Bieber posted an Instagram video of him doing said challenge with what looks to be a bucket of plain old water. Not a bit of ice in sight. Could the ice have melted in the few seconds it took to fill the bucket? Sure, maybe. But this is Justin Bieber we’re talking about. He’s faker than Courtney Stodden’s tits.

Meanwhile, people like Phoenix Jones are turning the ice bucket challenge up a notch. Here he is dumping a bucket of ice over his head before getting tased into a pool of ice. Your move, Obama.

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Selena Gomez Attended ‘Bible Study’ With Justin Bieber Again Fri, 15 Aug 2014 16:56:02 +0000 Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were seen attending Church on Wednesday night. Afterward, Bieber posted a photo of him holding Gomez while she kissed him on the cheek. Clearly, this means they’re banging again.

The pair sat next to each other while partaking in Bible study and seemed very close. They then left together in Bieber’s car.

Justin looked really comfortable with Selena as he still thinks their bond is unbreakable and knows that Selena will always love him.

Apparently there’s no greater aphrodisiac than Church and God. Like my reverend told me, nothing gets a girl wetter than prayer.

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Leonardo DiCaprio Cheered on Orlando Bloom Fri, 01 Aug 2014 07:47:09 +0000 What would you do if you saw Orlando Bloom try to punch Justin Bieber in the face? Probably cheer him on like Leonardo DiCaprio did. A Spanish journalist told the Mirror that Leo, who was sitting at Bloom’s table, was flipping out when the whole thing happened.

I went there with friends for dinner. We were on the table next to Orlando Bloom and Leonardo DiCaprio.

There was also Lindsay Lohan, Puff Daddy and Erick Morillo at the restaurant.

Justin said something when he came in which was aimed at Orlando, who then jumped onto a sofa to try and get at Justin.

It was amazing. Everyone stood up and started watching like it was a show and clapping.

There were actually two moments when it turned violent, it wasn’t just the one punch thrown.

DiCaprio was flipping out and Lindsay Lohan was trying to call them. Justin’s face was amazing.

That is to say punching Justin Bieber is a surefire way to see anybody’s o-face. I’m pretty sure if Orlando Bloom actually connected with his punch, everyone in the club would have came in their pants.

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Another Shot Fired in the Bieber/Bloom Feud Thu, 31 Jul 2014 17:52:57 +0000 Shots have been fired and lines have been drawn in the Justin Bieber/Orlando Bloom feud. In case you missed it, Orlando Bloom tried to punch Justin Bieber and everyone gave Bloom high fives, free shots and then all the girls blew him.

Since then, Bieber has been lobbing grenades on Instagram. First, he posted a photo of Miranda Kerr to sort of rub in his face the rumor that he might have slept with her while she and Bloom were married. He quickly took that down. Next, he posted a photo of a crying Orlando Bloom because showing a handsome man’s emotional side really turns off the ladies. Bieber’s really winning this war of attrition.

Celebrities have also begun choosing sides. By my estimation, according to this roundup from Us, it’s 11 – Bloom, 0 – Bieber, 5 -Neutral. Ouch.

Bloom has yet to respond to Bieber’s petty slams. Most likely because he’s too busy hanging out with chicks on yachts like he did today with Erica Packer.

Coincidentally enough, Erica Packer is the ex-wife of billionaire James Packer who Bloom’s wife is rumored to be dating. So it looks like Bloom is starring in his own sexy Vengeance Trilogy.

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