Everyone has a movie to screen these days. You could throw a rock in LA and it’d hit someone with a film they want financed. So it’s no surprise Kanye West screened a 26-minute movie titled Cruel Summer in Cannes. What is surprising that it took this long and isn’t self-indulgent as you’d expect it to be.

The movie stars Kid Cudi, Pusha-T and a Kim Kardashian look-a-like named Sarah A. whose real name can’t be revealed because women aren’t supposed to act in Qatar where the movie was shot. The film was financed by the Doha Film Institute where Sarah A. used to intern and who probably threw a wad of cash at Kanye and shouted, “Make us your most fantabulous movie!”

Then came the ominous hum of violins. On the screen above us, two black-clad thieves (Cudi and Pusha-T) began climbing down an air shaft ladder into a parking garage. As they continued down the ladder, the image switched to the screen right in front of us, then expanded to all three front screens as they bantered about Prince versus Michael Jackson while casing out the garage. Suddenly, they were in Lamborghinis and screaming down the streets of Qatar with cops in hot pursuit as the music swelled. The seat-rattling bass thumps were more powerful than anything Michael Bay could have produced. Kim and Kanye held hands. He danced furiously in his seat; she sat still and attentive. The music, I’m told, is all new and will be the foundation for an album called Cruel Summer that Kanye will drop later this year, featuring his boys like Big Sean, Pusha, and Cudi.

No budget information was available, but if there’s any doubt about how much dough went into this, think about what it would take to shut down the streets of Qatar to shoot twenty or so speeding Lamborghinis for a one-minute sequence. Then multiply that by 26. Vutlure

Vulture sums up the plot thusly:

• Cudi’s gang of car thieves is called the Lamborghini Dons (not mentioned in the movie, but Cudi told me this later). He formed it to honor his father, who was a car thief, too.
• She lives in a palace filled with taut golden strings. Her mother set them up so she could run and play while holding onto them, even though she’s blind.
• Those strings all lead to a single Game of Thrones–like throne, where she sits, surrounded by barriers as if in a prison.
• Cudi finds her there but is immediately tackled by guards and winds up in a prison with … Aziz Ansari.
• Somehow Cudi winds up in the desert, beaten and abandoned by guards.
• He wraps himself in a magic scarf and becomes a cocoonlike statue standing against the sandstorms for a good third of the movie. “It kind of mummified me,” Cudi told us of the scarf.
• To make the princess “see,” Cudi plucks the strings to make music. Each note brings up a bright light, kind of like the end sequence in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

PEOPLE reports the movie ended with a standing ovation for Kanye. Which sounds really dangerous. An ego that inflated could be a real fire hazard.

Vulture also has a mini interview with Jay-Z about what he thought of the short film and includes an enchanting description of an awkwardly long back rub given by Hova.

A source says Kim Kardashian and Kanye west are “100 percent having conversations about marriage,” which explains a new track by Pusha T. where West raps, “I saw you in the club in a white dress/Now I want to put you in a white dress.”

I won’t go into how dumb of an idea it is to marry Kim when her fake marriage to Kris Humphries isn’t even officially over yet. I will, however, go into how dumb some rap lyrics are. I mean, isn’t it sort of cheating to rhyme “white dress” with “white dress?” It’s like when Nicki Minaj raps, “Don’t let me die young, I just want you to father my young.” Sure, you can technically do that and it works, but, c’mon, stop being lazy.

For whatever reason, Kanye West’s belt malfunctioned and his pants fell down while he was heading toward his apartment in Manhattan with Kim Kardashian. Some are calling it a carefully calculated plan to fame whore. And they’re probably right. Kris Jenner is probably tenting her fingers right now and laughing maniacally.

Kanye West met Kim Kardashian’s family in New York over the weekend and you’d be stupid to think they didn’t “absolutely love him.” Sources say her family thinks they’re the perfect pair. They even stepped out for the first time as a couple grabbing dinner at Spice Market in the Meatpacking District.

Who would be dumb enough to think that the Kardashians, especially Kris Jenner, wouldn’t love Kanye. The whole time they were talking to each other, Kris was already planning all the ways she can milk as much fame and money out of this as she can. You could practically see strands of drool running down her mouth while they were talking.

It only took a few years, but after slowly banging her way up the fame chain from Ray J to Reggie Bush to Kris Humphries and now Kanye West (with Reggie Bush as a backup plan), Kim Kardashian has finally nearly reached her goal of ingraining herself with Hollywood royalty aka the super wealthy and famous. Us speculates that it’s only a matter of time before Kanye introduces Kim to his friend and collaborator Jay-Z and his wife Beyonce.

“It’s not a PR stunt,” the source insists of the rapper and reality star. “They’re perfect for each other. He thinks she’s his Beyonce!”

Indeed, after years of a flirty friendship — West pursued Kardashian “for a long time,” another source says — the stars were finally aligned for the twosome (who share a fondness for luxury and the spotlight) to finally get romantic.

“Now that Kim has gotten over the Kris drama . . . she sees how much Kanye loves her,” a Kardashian source tells Us. Us

It’s said that when Kim hooked up with Kanye, Kris Jenner proudly looked at the latest issue of PEOPLE and shed a single tear.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have hooked up for the past three days and here she is leaving his apartment again. She also went on Today to talk with Ann Curry about it.

On The Hunger Games: ”The movie was really interesting,” Kardashian laughed. “I’m glad Matt [Lauer]‘s not doing the interview with the Kanye questions!”

On Kanye’s Theraflu song: ”I completely respect and understand you have to ask these questions, but I’ve said it before: Kanye and I have been friends for years,” Kardashian smiled. “You never know what the future holds or where my life will take me. I like the song!”

On her divorce: ”I would love [an annulment], but there’s certain guidelines on how you can get one, and I’m not sure we fall under that,” Kardashian explained. “We are still going through a divorce, so there’s not much that I’m allowed to talk about. Out of respect for him, I try to not really talk about stuff involving him . . . I have closed that chapter. I’m just really ready to move on.”

You know what would get Kim to talk about Kris Humphries again? If you waved a few dollar bills in front of her face. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that the only difference between reality tv stars and strippers is reality tv stars are a little more uptight about you putting dollar bills in their thongs.

Kanye West released a new song called “Theraflu” in which he said he was in love with Kim Kardashian while she was with Kris Humphries. The lyrics that everyone is analyzing to convince themselves that Kanye was banging Kim while she was with Kris go:

And I’ll admit I fell in love with Kim/ ‘Round the same time she fell in love him/ That’s cool, baby girl do your thing/ Lucky I ain’t have Jay drop him from the team

To further cement the rumors, TMZ has a timeline of Kim and Kanye leaving a screening of The Hunger Games in NYC last night. This morning at 10:30 AM, Kim was seen leaving Kanye’s building in the same clothes she wore to the movies last night. Later, they went for a date at a restaurant. Then they stared deep into each others eyes. Not out of love, mind you, but that was the best way to see their own reflections.

At a performance for BBC Radio 1 in London, Katy Perry put on an NY cap and did an instrumental cover of Jay-Z/Kanye West’s N**gas in Paris. Perry sang “ninja” because she doesn’t have enough street cred to pull off “n**gas.”

She should have sang it anyway. It’s always funny when a white person shouts the n-word and see everyone in the audience try to find the nearest black person to see whether or not they should be offended.

Kanye West’s ex girlfriend, Amber Rose, spoke with Star Magazine and showed she’s obviously still bitter that Kanye dumped her for Kim Kardashian and calls Kim a homewrecker.

According to Amber, she was dating Kanye when he and Kim first hooked up — and Kim was dating NFL star Reggie Bush!

“They were both cheating,” Amber, 28, said. “They were both cheating on me and Reggie with each other.”

“She was sending pictures, and I was like, ‘Kim, just stop. Don’t be that person,’” but apparently Kim didn’t care enough to respond when Amber emailed her for an explanation.

“I thought at least she’d be woman enough to respond to me. She never responded.”

Amber slammed Kim for her cheating ways. “It’s very important that us women stick together and we don’t f**k each other over like that.” Radar Online

They’re both fame whores competing for the same prize. Sticking together would feel like an attempt at subterfuge. Maybe Amber should have sent some naked pics too. I’m told that’s the best way to get someone to like you.

“I want to thank her,” she said about Kim. “Because if she was never a homewrecker, then I never would have met Wiz, and I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now.”

Yea, she’s so happy with Wiz that she’s still talking about Kanye. I know when I’m over something I also incessantly yap about it.

Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from Kris Humphries a little over a month ago which means now is the perfect time for Kanye West to hit on Kim. At an after party for Jay-Z and West’s “Watch the Throne” concert in LA, Kanye was all over Kim and she was reportedly into it.

“Kanye was eating Kim up like she was a piece of cake,” says the source. “He was all over her — caressing her head, touching her waist.

“He wouldn’t talk to anybody else,” says the source.

Kardashian was enjoying the attention. “She was totally into it,” adds the source, who notes that Kardashian and West hung out in a small room with Beyoncé and Gabrielle Union in a small room that was located off a patio, where most of the party’s guests were gathered.

At one point, our source says, Kardashian and West got up and went outside, although it was unclear if they left the party together. NYDN

Rich, black, famous. Check, check and check. Kanye has all the prerequisites on Kim’s man-bingo card and will no doubt make a fine 72 day husband.

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2011 took place on Wednesday in New York. Nicki Minaj, Kanye West and Jay-Z performed while models such as Adriana Lima, Miranda Kerr and Alessandra Ambrosio walked the runway modeling outfits you’ll never see a normal person wear. We in the business call that “fashion.” All the models looked pretty hot. As they should considering all the dieting they do leading up to this day. But, jesus, what’s with blurry pictures. Doesn’t anyone know how to focus a camera? You click the shutter button halfway and then press it down after it focuses. It’s not hard, people. It’s not like trying to find the clitoris. I mean, can someone draw me a map or something?

Here’s Kanye West at the Occupy Wall Street protests. As TDW notes, he was there with his gold chain, gold grill and $355 Givenchy Tartan Spread Collar Plaid Shirt. He’s just like us!

• Chris Brown serenades his mother for her birthday. Did he give her her birthday punches too?  [Bossip]
• Tracy Morgan cites Richard Pryor for homophobic comedy bit. [Celebitchy]
• Jayde Nicole is very noticeable. [Celebslam]
• Anna Kournikova is back in Women’s Health looking the same as she did 10 years ago. (Site NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
• It hasn’t been even two months and Kris Humphries already lost his wedding ring. [IDLYITW]
• Martin Scorcese behind the scenes of Hugo with Sacha Baron Cohen. [Celebs]
• Camilla Belle looks great. [MoeJackson]
• Adriana Lima is now supporting her husband? [Busted Coverage]
• Rihanna was impressed by the way Chris Brown pulled out. [Dlisted]
• When Alexander Skarsgard is bored, he has sex. [The Superficial]
• Bar Refaeli has a new lingerie shoot. [Daily Fix]

Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV Movie Awards two years ago. They’ve since gotten over it and now they’re secretly high fiving each other at the Met’s Costume Gala and getting giddy about it.

“Swift neared the top of the stairs and froze. She grabbed Erickson’s sleeve in a panic: ‘Am I supposed to talk to him or not?” Standing by the door was the rapper Kanye West… Swift hesitated for a second, and then realizing that there was no time to wait for advice, continued walking up the stairs toward West. As she neared the door, he held a hand out, and they exchanged a studiedly casual “down low” high five. When it was over Swift stopped just inside the museum, looking giddy. Erickson let out a breath, and exclaimed “That wasn’t bad!” Feeling my eyes on her, Swift didn’t comment on what had just happened. Instead, she said, “I’m so glad I didn’t bring a purse this year! ” The New Yorker

“Oh my god, I just did a black people thing!,” Taylor then gushed. Just kidding. She was probably just thinking it. Good thing Kanye didn’t go for a fist bump. I have a feeling Taylor would have still gone for a high five and ended up cupping his fist with her hand. Awk-ward.