Defamer managed to snag a 12-minute tape staring Eric Dane, his wife Rebecca Gayheart and former Miss Teen USA 2002 Kari Ann Peniche. There’s no sex at all during those 12 minutes so I felt a little robbed when I watched this. If it’s any consolation, there are topless chicks. In the video (here, Fleshbot will post the uncensored version later), all three are high and discussing various topics such as what their porn names should be and how Kari’s 7-year-old brother is smarter than her.

A little background about the people here. Eric Dane, 36, plays Dr. McSteamy in Grey’s Anataomy. Rebecca Gayheart, 38, killed a nine-year-old with her car while she was on her cell phone. She’s also acted in films and whatever and the National Enquirer posted a pic of her smoking a crack pipe with another topless woman in a bath from 2003. Kari Ann Peniche, 25, was stripped of her Miss Teen USA crown for posing in Playboy. Kari was also once engaged to Aaron Carter. Basically, everyone in the tape is a winner.

Being a celebrity is great. You make millions of dollars reading lines from a script someone else wrote and get to go home, get high and watch two or more naked chicks bathe together. It almost beats out being a blogger as the best job in the world. Almost. I don’t mean to brag, but I don’t even have to wear pants when I’m writing.

Only a week after proposing to girlfriend, Kari Ann Peniche, Aaron has called off the engagement claiming he got caught up in the moment and hadn’t thought it through.

Some would say he realized that whatever sexual position they were in, his brother’s penis had probably already been there. So in essence, it would be like his penis was rubbing against his brother’s and he was freaked out over how excited that made him. Others would say it’s a publicity stunt for his new show House of Carters, but they’re wrong. It’s gotta be the gay penis thing. Occam’s razor man.

At 18 years old, Aaron Carter proposed to his girlfriend Kari Ann Peniche, who everyone has totally seen naked in Playboy. Aaron popped the question in Las Vegas during the Playboy Comedy Tour in front of 200 people. An interesting annotation is Kari used to date Aaron’s brother Nick. Knowing this, I would have said no if I was Kari. Constantly being asked questions like “Does Nick do it like this?” or “My penis is bigger, right? You giggling means yes?” doesn’t seem like it would make a blissful marriage or maybe it does. I wouldn’t really know because I’m so sexy that I bed a different girl every night. By “girl” I mean Myspace and by “every night” I mean never and “bed” is actually a bed because that’s where I go to cry.